Living with feelings of uncertainty during changing times


The year 2020 has shed light to so many issues, good and bad. If you’re anything like me, this year has been filled will feelings of fear, anxiety, unrest, and most of all uncertainty. Between a global pandemic turning our world upside down in only a few months, social unrest due to the blatant injustices of Black, indigenous, and people of color, and the large divide amongst Americans as the election becomes closer and closer, we’re left to navigate the uncertainties that our nation, communities, and families face today and for our future.

It almost feels inevitable that we have experienced and will continue to experience stress this year. We’ve been living in fear of getting sick or having a loved one get sick. Some of us have lost our jobs, homes, savings accounts, and worst of all losing a loved one to COVID19. BIPOC communities face a continued fear of merely existing, as police brutality and systemic oppression literally kill them through violence or through the disproportionate disparities in health care, which are known factors contributing to the higher morbidity and mortality among people of color, as compared to white Americans. Most of us fear what the next president elect will mean for our basic human rights, the rights of our families, and our future children and generation to come. This is an extraordinarily amount of stress to contend with while still having to move along each day to be able to survive and provide for ourselves and our families.

Exorbitant amounts of chronic stress are known to have serious implications on the mind and body. Some of these effects include irritability, anxiety, depression, headaches, insomnia, high blood pressure, gastrointestinal issues, lowered immune system functioning, and other physical issues. Chronic stress is also known to lead to an increase in the likelihood of the development of a mental illness, problems concentrating and decision making, memory and poor judgment.

These uncertain times are bound to leave us feeling anxious and stressed. If you recall earlier in the blog, I stated that 2020 has brought bad and good, and you’re probably wondering…where is the good? Well believe it or not, good can and will come from this! Let’s first talk acknowledge that the anxious/fearful mind overestimates the risk, threat or danger and underestimates the ability to use coping resources. I can’t confidently say that the current state of our world is without real threat or dangers (because it is with real threat and dangers), but I can provide coping resources to help you navigate this time of uncertainty.

As humans, we crave security, consistency, and predictability. When we are paralyzed with uncertainty, our minds love to conjure up worst case scenarios and countless predictions so we feel prepared if the worst was to come. If you feel overwhelmed by uncertainty and worry, it’s important to know that you’re not alone; many of us are going through the same thing in real time. It’s also important to understand that no matter how helpless you feel, there are steps you can take better manage these circumstances, alleviate your anxiety, and face the unknown with resilience.

1. Act on what you can control.

a. Most of our life is and feels uncertain and uncontrollable, however re-focusing your efforts on things within your control will help you problem-solve. Sometimes, the only thing we can control is our attitude and response to uncontrollable situations, and even that is worth looking into if you find yourself struggling to find things you can control.

2. Openly feel, acknowledge, and experience your emotions

a. Suppressing/avoiding/distracting your emotions is a short-term solution to problems that will manifest themselves in other ways if not managed today. Find a safe space, a friend, a therapist, anyone who can provide you with an environment to process your feelings safely. Allowing yourself to become comfortable with the idea of uncertainty will indirectly reduce your feelings of stress and anxiety.

3. Challenge your automatic thought processes that tell you life needs to be certain in order for it to be manageable.

a. How much can any of us be absolute certain about life? Unfortunately, nothing in life is guaranteed, perfectly calculated, or predictable. When you find yourself having the feeling or thought that you “need to know” something, ask yourself how possible it is to really know? Try and re-focus on more realistic thought processes. Something you can tell yourself when you have a thought like that is “No matter how much I try to plan out every situation and outcome, life can surprise me. All reaching for certainty really does is feed my worry and anxiety.”

4. Identify the specific situations of uncertainty that give you the most distress, and practice acceptance.

a. Start recognizing your thought patterns, emotions, or bodily sensations you experience when the sense of uncertainty creeps in. Notice what particular situations bring about those thoughts/feelings/sensations. Name what you’re experiencing i.e. “This is anxiety over uncertainty” and try to observe the experience nonjudgmentally. Research shows mindfulness and acceptance practices reduce unpleasant experiences, as the more you allow them, the more you realize the feelings will pass. This will provide you comfort when another situation involving uncertainty arises.

5. Practice Mindfulness

a. Mindfulness stresses the importance of being present in the here and how. With all this fear of uncertainty, most of us are glued to our devices, reading countless news articles, stories, debates, etc.”… We are losing time being present in the moment.”. There are many techniques online to practice mindfulness. You can also practice mindfulness techniques with a therapist if you find you are unable to do it on your own. One quick tip is to stay away from technology. Take 20-30-60-minute breaks from any technology and focus on anything in the here and now, even if its your pet, children, your family, or doing a chore like washing the dishes. You can use any of your 5 senses to help you engage in something in the present. For example, lighting a candle and focusing on the scent, or washing the dishes and focusing on the soapy bubbles on your hands. Don’t worry if you find that your focus keeps wandering back to your future fears and worries. It’s a skill, and like any other skill, it takes practice to master.

6. Managing Stress/Anxiety

a. There are many practical tips I can give to manage everyday stressors and anxiety that pile on in addition to the uncertainties of this year. For starters, movement is a huge tool in alleviating anxiety, do any sort of movement, running, dancing, yoga. Expelling that energy will relieve you of anxiety and release feel good endorphins. Give yourself time to relax. Take time for YOU. Try and get a regular sleep schedule with quality sleep, and lastly, try and up your nutrition game. All of these baseline changes will dramatically improve your ability to tackle the stress and anxieties of today.

The last “good” that I can say that has come out of this year, is the extent that therapy has become accessible to all. As a therapist, this warms my heart. I’ve never seen so many people open to the therapeutic process, willing to work on themselves to become better humans. You don’t have to go through this alone! Many of us find comfort sitting with uncertainty in a safe environment with someone we trust. You can remain in the comfort of your own home and talk through some of the emotions and experiences you are going through.

Here at New Day Vitality we care about your health and well-being. We’re currently offering online therapy through a HIPAA compliant video sources throughout the state of New York for stay at home services.

You don’t have to sit with uncertainty alone. Take-action on what you can control out of this situation. And what you can control, is learning how to respond to uncertainty with confidence that you will survive this and surpass this! Please reach out to us if you are finding that this time of uncertainty is difficult for you. We would love to support you on your journey through uncertainty and into resilience!

We are your anxiety experts of Westchester NY. Servicing the surround areas, Larchmont, Mamaroneck, New Rochelle, Scarsdale, Eastchester, Rye Brook, Rye, etc. and all of New York State for over ten years.

 

 

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D

Coronavirus and Ways to Lower Stress, Fear, and Anxiety Surrounding It


 

The world has never seemed to be a smaller place. In these days of uncertainty when the ongoing coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic affects an increasing number of people worldwide, each of us is at risk. People are confused, concerned, and terrified.

No one is protected against COVID-19. From celebrities, athletes, politicians, to those close to our home and our hearts, our families, neighbors, friends and colleagues, no one is immune to coronavirus regardless of their age, race, gender, or socioeconomic status. Schools and borders are getting closed, flights canceled, people isolated.

The outbreak of coronavirus (COVID-19) has affected almost all parts of the world and our society. The most affected countries and cities have undergone severe lifestyle changes with the people’s basic civil rights put on hold while the outbreak lasts.

The worst thing about this whole situation seems to be uncertainty that surrounds coronavirus pandemic. However, in situations of crisis like this one, it is natural to feel concerned, stressed, and afraid. It is normal to experience anxiety. In fact, whatever you are feeling right now, it’s a normal response to a crisis.

The Role of Anxiety

In situations of emergency and crisis, anxiety occurs as a natural response to stress and threat. When we feel exposed, the amygdala in our brain activates “flight or fight” response. The main purpose of this cognitive-physiological-emotional response is to protect us and help us adapt. So, being a little bit more concerned is useful because it keeps you cautious. It motivates you to be responsible and to take measures to protect yourself and the people around you.

Nevertheless, excessive worry and fear can destabilize you and weaken constructive responses to stress, impair quality of life, and damage your health.

People who already struggle with some form of generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) are particularly at risk of experiencing coronavirus stress and anxiety.

What Is Coronavirus and Why Is It So Scary?

Coronaviruses are not new to mankind. This is a large family of viruses that cause a variety of illnesses (from ordinary cold to Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome). However, coronavirus disease (COVID-19) is a new type that was discovered in late 2019 and has not been identified in humans ever before.

Common Signs of COVID-19

Common signs of coronavirus infection include:

  • Fever
  • Cough
  • Shortness of breath
  • Respiratory symptoms

In more severe cases, the infection can cause:

  • Difficulty breathing
  • Pneumonia
  • Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS)
  • Kidney failure
  • Death

If you develop any of these signs, seek medical attention.

How to Prevent Infection?

To prevent infection spread, it is recommended that you regularly wash your hands with warm water and soap, use hand sanitizers, cover your mouth and nose when coughing and sneezing, limit social contacts, and particularly close contact with anyone showing signs of respiratory infections (sneezing and coughing).

How to Cope with Coronavirus Stress and Anxiety

Here are some useful strategies to help you cope with stress and anxiety triggered by the coronavirus outbreak.

1. Set the Information Boundaries

How many hours daily do you spend listening, reading, or watching the news related to the coronavirus outbreak? While it is important to keep informed, many of us are becoming overwhelmed by the news on TV, in newspapers, and on social media. Ask yourself do you really need all the information presented? Limit your media exposure and select the time of the day when you are going to put your phone away, turn off the computer and TV. Get yourself familiar with the trusted sources of information that you can turn to in your community.

We like to be in control of our lives. Planning your day-to-day life in these times of uncertainty will provide a sense of control and therefore alleviate stress and anxiety. Make arrangements at work, such as an option to work from home, keep social distance as much as possible, and have a back-up for school closings.

2. Practice Relaxation and Mindfulness Meditation

The benefits of relaxation and meditation are myriad. There are many techniques such as deep breathing, yoga, or meditation that can help you relax. Some day-to-day habits can also make you feel calm and happy, such as reading a good book, nature walks, or talking with friends or family; these small everyday rituals may be very helpful.

Both science and practice have proven many benefits of meditation in dealing with stress and anxiety. Mindful meditation can help you ease anxiety symptoms by helping you to stay focused, become aware of your thoughts and feelings, and overcome negative thoughts. Also, mindfulness exercise can boost your self-esteem, increase optimism, and improve resilience.

Studies show that mindfulness exercise can reduce the activity in the amygdala. This is a cluster of neurons in the limbic system of the brain that plays a key role in processing emotions. In other words, the amygdala is a starting point for your anxiety reaction. Reducing the amygdala’s activity, mindfulness practice reduces your background level of stress and anxiety.

So, instead of avoiding experiencing anxiety, focus on your anxious thoughts and feelings and observe them for some time. Then, acknowledge that these are nothing more than thoughts and feelings, and simply let them go.

3. Keep Self-Care a Priority

During times of crisis and uncertainty, healthy lifestyles and self-care should become your priority.

It is no secret that well-rested individuals have a stronger immune system and are better equipped for defeating viruses. Also, research shows a Mediterranean-style diet rich in fish, fruits, vegetables, and whole grains can help ease symptoms of anxiety.

Finally, studies show that exercise can protect you against symptoms of stress and anxiety and help promote feelings of happiness and wellbeing.

4. Spend Time in Nature

In some parts of our country such as New Rochelle, New York as well as many European countries, the state of emergency is declared and citizens are strongly advised or ordered to stay indoors. People are cut off from their lives, friends, and extended families. They spend time in their backyards, terraces, and balconies. If you can, spend time outdoors. Connecting with nature helps us relax and lessens symptoms of anxiety and depression. Whether it’s taking your kids to the park or doing some gardening in your backyard, spending time in nature is a great way to be active, stay away from viruses, and reduce feelings of anxiety.

5. Seek Mental Health Counseling

Online counseling is a great option for those who cannot leave their homes due to coronavirus outbreak. Seek counseling if you feel that your coping mechanism is not strong enough to manage coronavirus anxiety on your own.

We are all in this together. Help and support are available.

https://nyprojecthope.org/?utm_medium=G1Search&utm_source=Google&utm_campaign=OMHProjectHOPERSPGrant

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D

Therapeutic Tool for The COVID Scaries


The COVID Scaries – yes, it is the new Sunday Scaries and it is real. You feel a slight sore throat, a tinge of a headache, or a body ache and you begin to panic. You are preoccupied with getting sick, keeping clean, and knowing if those around you are also safe and protected. The threat that COVD-19 brought to our world is heartbreaking, but the threat that COVID-19 brought to our mental state is just as deprecating. What we went through due to COVID-19 is absolutely, without a shadow of a doubt- traumatic. Now, with all traumas, everyone handles them differently. The same upsetting incident can happen to two different people, but each individual comes out of the incident differently- some move on seamlessly and others are deeply affected by the incident (and both reactions are okay). However, those who were not deeply or emotionally affected by COVID likely are not feeling any additional anxiety or extra worries. If you are someone who noticed an increase of anxiety and preoccupation with your health since the pandemic then this is the read for you- let’s go through a therapeutic tool I like to call “Is it COVID or Anxiety?” we can use to help us cope.

1. Play a Game: Is it COVID or Anxiety?

The next time you feel somatic (a fancy word for bodily) ache or discomfort and associate this symptom with possible COVID I want you to catch yourself before this thought/ worry manifests into something bigger. Mentally ask yourself, “Is it COVID or Anxiety?”, most likely it is just anxiety. Remember, that anxiety usually presents itself with somatic symptoms such as body aches, headaches, sweating, feeling clammy, chest pains, lightheaded and fatigued along with many other bodily sensations and discomforts. Many of these anxiety-related symptoms are also associated with COVID, so just because you are feeling a certain bodily sensation does not necessarily mean it is COVID. Notice that if the symptoms go away with medication or only last at best a few hours then you are likely in the clear. Also notice that if the symptom does not worsen you are once again likely in the clear. The mind and the power of anxiety are quite fascinating. If you have a preoccupation with feeling ill, then you will feel ill. Let’s say you are feeling chest pains. If you place your focus on the chest pain rather than allow your thoughts to move elsewhere then the chest pain will persist and perhaps even worsen; mind you this pain is not at all physical health related, but mental health related because it is the power of anxiety.

 

https://mhanational.org/self-help-tools

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D

How to Stop the Cycle of Anxiety & Fear


This is a great question and for many something at some point in one’s life that is faced.

The cycle of anxiety and fear is a vicious cycle. One that is reoccurring and significantly impacts a persons daily life.

Living in a constant world of threat and potential threat has been reported by many stuck in this cycle of anxiety and fear.

For many avoidance contributes to this cycle and because an individual feels anxious they tend to avoid going to different situations and in hand this cycle grows and gradually works to other parts of the persons life, becoming very distressing.

So how do we reverse the cycle of anxiety and fear? Here is some helpful tips on ways to break the vicious cycle.

Coping skills is key, learning alternative ways of reducing anxiety in situations gives a good chance of eliciting structure and halting the cycle of fear and anxiety.

Reality checks, cognitive restructuring or questioning is another way to break the cycle, whenever something stressful arises, or fear triggers an anxiety response, so a reality check. Ask your self questions like how valid is this fear? How true is this thought? Is there immediate danger. Most of the time, the thought or stressor is fear driven proving to have no reality or truth to it, in hand breaking the cycle.

Mindfulness is another great tool to break the cycle, focusing more on the here and now, vs the what if and the future can help to eliminate fears, rumination and intrusive thoughts about the future.

Exposure is another way to halt the cycle, exposure is like undoing or unlearning a fear, by doing this an individual is practicing response prevention. Exposure helps to break the cycle by eliminating the reliance of inefficient anxiety reduction tools, changing the pattern, ending the cycle.

The anxiety and fear cycle is vicious, however breaking just one link can help to breaking the cycle and living a happier, anxiety-free life.

If you or someone you know is dealing with anxiety and fear, reach out to New Day Vitality Psychotherapy, private practice in Larchmont NY, the anxiety experts are here and ready to help.

https://www.oprahdaily.com/life/relationships-love/g25629970/positive-affirmations/

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D

Slay the Anxiety Stress Away


 

Slay The Anxiety/ Stress Away

Often I see clients at my practice in Westchester NY for counseling and therapy with stress and anxiety like symptoms, which can become fairly intrusive in their lives. So let’s talk about some simple ways to start to slay the anxiety/ stress away.

First, let’s try to figure out what’s causing this anxiety, is it something to do with the environment, is there an identified trigger? And if so, let’s make the changes to begin to alleviate the trigger so that we can begin to lower the anxiety.

Second, what can we do now in this moment to lower the anxiety? I often have my client’s journal their emotions. Journaling is a healthy outlet and coping skill with enormous therapeutic benefits, so get that note pad, diary out and begin to journal these emotions and feelings to let them out.

Next, how about some positive self talk, reassuring self-talk. Positive statements and reassuring statements can help to lower the stress or anxiety level in the moment. You can say things as “this to shall pass”, “I’m ok, I’m safe” try it out today and feel and see the difference.

Breathing exercises are also extremely helpful with lowering stress levels. Take a 5- 10-minute break, sit your self down in a quiet and relaxed space and work on doing some deep breathing. Breathing in through your nose out through your mouth. Try doing counts of 4, inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds and breathe out for 4 seconds, consistently focusing on your breath.

Practicing mindfulness is also a great way to lower stress levels. Being in the moment, slowing it all down and working in the here and now is a wonderful way to lower levels of stress. Focus on your five senses, bring yourself to this very moment, when you focus more on your senses you will become less tense, hence lowering your stress level.

Another way to lower stress or anxiety levels is essential oils. Lavender is a wonderful essential oil that has many healing properties and is a natural remedy to lower stress levels. Whether it’s applying the lavender to your skin or using a diffuser with the scent, both can help to lower levels of stress.

Next, we can work on the elimination of negative self-talk. Negative self-talk can leave you feeling unmotivated, stressed and overwhelmed. Thoughts precede feelings and negative thoughts lead to negative emotions and feelings, which in hand lead to negative behaviors. The good news is we have the choice to change this and work on acknowledging the negative self-talk and in hand replacing it with positive self talk.

Another idea is exercise. Exercising increases endorphins which in hand results in positive feelings and emotions. Whether it be walking on the treadmill at a gym or going for a nice walk, exercise can become a key factor in feeling more calm and relaxed and lower stress levels.

Lastly, relaxation exercises are extremely beneficial with lowering stress level. Whether it’s a guided meditation or a progressive muscle relaxation exercise, all can be beneficial in lowering the stress level.

So today’s a NEW day, a NEW you and together we can make these changes to lower your stress, anxiety level. Try out these simple tools and tips above and let’s work together to get you to a better place.

 

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D