stress

How to Survive the Holidays


The most wonderful time of the year is around the corner and everyone’s getting ready for another season of joy, togetherness, gifting, caroling, and tasty food. Yet, for a large number of people, this time of the year is also a source of a great stress, exhaustion, and sadness.

Studies show that only 10 percent of people in the U.S. report no stress during the holidays.Also, the holiday season may beexceptionallytough if you recently lost someonecloseand you are still grieving. All the hustle and bustle around the holidayscanincrease the feeling ofyourloss, making thesorrow and loneliness feel bottomless.

For all of you who struggle with the jolliness of the season, here are some effective ways to survive theholidays.

Holiday Stress

To lessenor avoid the stressthroughoutthe holidays,youneed to learn how to respond tooverwhelmingholidayhubbubin a composed and healthyway.So, let’sdelve onthemost effective ways tostay saneduring the holidayseason.

1. KeepOrganized

If you wanttolessentheholiday-related stress, try toavoid the last-minuteshopping. Rathermake a schedule aheadfor shopping, decorating, baking, gathering,and other holiday activities. This wayyou’ll cut your last-minute errandsthat causea lot ofstress during holidays.

2. PlanYour Budget

Things can easily get out of hand during the holidays. Each year,most of usendup spending a lot more thanweoriginally planned.So, make sure to plan your holiday budget andtostick to it.Also, if you’re struggling with the finances, don’t spendunreasonably. Forinstance, instead of buying expensive gifts, give something handmade and original.

3. Take Care of Yourself

Although the holiday season is usually asymbolfor familyget-togethers andfriend-reunions, try to devote sometimeto yourselfas well. Take a break from partying,excessive eating andgruelingtrips to the malls.

Dosomeyoga or practice mindfulness meditation instead.Read your favorite book and spend some lazy mornings in your bed.Also, this is a perfect time of the year to count your blessings and think ofyourNew Year’s resolutions. Start your days expressing gratitude for all those good things that have come your way.

Devoting time to yourselfduring the holidays will help renew your energyandhelp keepthe peaceful mind during the holidays.

Loss andGrief during the Holidays

If you recently lost a close person, your life has certainly changed, filling your days withthedevastating pain.Andtheholiday season can be particularly tough for those inamidst of thegrieving process. If you’re still grieving, it is totally normal that you feel the apathy and indifference towards the approaching holiday season.

However, here are some things you can do to ease the pain and survive the holidays.

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

The way you’ll cope with grief and loss during the holidays is only your business. Don’tfeel guilty if you cannot enjoy yourself.It is all right to tell people you just aren’t up to celebrations this year.

There is no right or wrong when it comes to mourning during the holiday season. For example, if you don’t feel like joiningthefamily or corporate celebrations this year,don’t want to sing carolsor you want to tune out the holiday season altogether,that’s only your choice. So, do whatever you feel like doingand give yourself time to grieve.

2. Reach Out for Support

Seek grief counseling. A professional bereavement counselor can help you accept your feelings and build a strategy for coping with emotional, cognitive, behavioral, and spiritual reaction to loss.

3. Externalize Your Loss

Talk about the deceased person. Joinagrief support group, online or in your community.Sharingyour feelings and thoughts with people who are going throughasimilar experience can be helpful.In addition, doingsmall things inthememory of a loved one such as creating a certain tribute during the holidays can also help in your grieving process.

4. Start a New Holiday Tradition

Starting a new tradition with your kids, family members or friendsdoesn’t mean that you have already forgotten a loved one. Doing something different will help you survive the holidays and boost the awareness that you need to moveon.Also, don’t feel guilty if you find joy during the holiday season. Enjoying the holidays doesn’t diminish how much you miss the person you lost.

5. Holiday Good Deeds

Consider helpingothersduringtheholidays.Think aboutjoining a local charity orvolunteeringin your community. Helping others will distract your grieving thoughts and give you something else to think about instead. Additionally, giving and sharing with others will boost your self-esteem; you’ll feel better knowing that you are doing something selfless during the holidays.

For many people, holidays can beastressfuland painfultime of the year.None of us can escape loss, butthesting ofbereavementcan be especiallypainfulduring the holidays. While youmay feel pressure to be happy during the holiday season, it’s totally fine if you don’t.

In the end, if you need support in overcoming stress or coping with grief during the holidays,reach out for support. We canwork on your feelings, boost your coping mechanismsduring the holidays, and help you get back on track.

 

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D

How Social Media Affects Your Mental Health


 

Many of us remember the time when a boredom still existed. No-internet time. No-social media time. In our highly technological world today, we are surrounded by devices and information at any given moment of our daily lives and have no spare time to relax and simply do nothing.

Howmuch time during your dayor/and night you spend thoughtlessly scrolling through your social media feeds, liking, sharing, tweeting, and updating? Let’s be honest, most of us use every spare moment to check out our social mediaplatforms- those moments we usedto chat toanother person, read a book orenjoy a view at the beach in our pre-social media lives.

No matter whereyouare – atyour home, at the office, coffee shop, exotic beach, mounting lodge, subway, airportorashoppingmall…youare alwaysconnected.

One review study showed that people who use social networks excessively tend to neglect their personal life,withdraw andspend their daytime daydreaming,andexperience frequent mood swings. In addition, theyare likely toconceal their addictive behavior.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has warned about cyberbullying and “Facebook depression” as serious negative effects social mediahas onchildren and teens. However, the same risks affect adults as well.

Here are some examplesofhow social media can be damaging to your mental health.

1.Social Media Promotes Social Isolationand Loneliness

Despite the belief that you’re socializing with a great number of people while browsing your social media feeds, studies show that social media use actually leads to greater feelings of social isolation. One study results indicate that more time people spend on social media, the more socially isolated these people perceived themselves to be.

Thousands of friends on social mediadon’t necessarily mean you are more social and havearicher social life. One study has found that there seems to be a certain capon the number of friends each of us can handle. Moreover, it takes actual social interaction, not virtual, to keep up our friendships.

A recent survey that sampled 20,000 people 18-24 years old showed that young people are experiencing feelings of extreme isolation and loneliness, with 49 percent of themreporting sometimes or always feeling alone while 43 percent feeling their relationships are not meaningful. At the same time, 47 percent of young peoplearefeeling left out.

As we all know, loneliness is linked to numerous mental health problems.

The false impression of connection that we get from social media seems to be increasing our loneliness.Throughour online-filtered lives, we share some of the most intimate moments with thousands, millions of digital friends. Yet, we are forgetting how to have a meaningful conversation with a colleague at the office.

The constant pressure to filter and put a facade on our lives,simultaneouslycomparing our own withother people’swonderful destinies presented in social media leads to feelings of profound isolation, anxiety, and depression.

2.Social Media Negatively AffectsYour Self-Esteem

Compared to all those wonderful, beautiful, active people who seem to constantly be traveling the world, meeting new friends, staying at expensive hotels, and driving fancy cars, your life seems so small, dull, andunimportant.

Remember, social media is not real life. Don’t fall in a trap of comparing your real life to someone else’s controlled online content.

Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and other social media havea negative effect on our expectations and values, our self-esteem and overall mental well-being.One surveyof 1,500 peoplefound thatsocial media platforms make half of them feel inadequate and interactive.

According to anothersurvey, 60 percent of people who use social media reportthat social mediaaffectstheir self-esteem in a negative way.

Instagram feeds loaded with filtered images ofattractive, happy peoplemany times hide the emotional struggle and mental health issues. The pressure to look perfect and impress others leads to pretending that your life is more glamorous and exciting than it is.

Furthermore, the gap between who you are pretending to be online and who you really are can trigger feelings of depression and frustration. In addition, it can make it harder to accept the less-perfect version you really are and seriously affect your self-assurance.

3.Social Media Provokes Anxiety and Depression

A study published inComputers and Human Behaviorfound that people who excessively use social media platforms(three or more platforms)are more than three times as likely as people using up to two platforms to develop high levels of general anxiety symptoms such as feelings of restlessness and worry, and trouble concentrating and sleeping.

Similarly, another survey involving 1,700 people found the link between the use of social media platforms and the risk of anxiety and depression. The researchers find the reasons for this in cyber-bullying, a distorted picture of other people’s lives, and feeling that the time spent on social media is a waste.

In addition, research has found that spending nightssurrounded by artificial lighting can inhibit the body’s production of melatonin, a hormone that helps us fall asleep.

However, social mediahas brought myriad advantages to our lives and cannot be considered asauniversally bad thing. It definitelyaffects people differently, depending on personality traits and previous experiences.

If you are concerned that social media sites negatively impact your life, we can talk about that.

 

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D

Animals and How They Can Improve Mental Health


 

Animals And Mental Health

Animals have been shown to improve your mental health. Here is tons of ways how animals/pets can help your mind, body and spirit.

Petting reduces stress; rhythmic petting can be comforting to your pet as well as you. It’s proven that when you connect to your pet, oxytocin the hormone related to stress and anxiety is released, and in hand helping to reduce blood pressure and lower cortisol levels.

Animals distract you but also can help you be present, the best of both worlds. Being present and engaged with your pet, helps to keep you in the moment and focus on mindfulness and grounding, slowing down the racing thoughts that may be causing you stress and or anxiety and enjoying your time with your little fur buddy.

Animals are great listeners. Sometimes when we are feeling stuck or vulnerable it helps to get those feelings out, and who else is a better listener than your pet? A dog or cat is the perfect outlet to vent to when you need without any potential repercussions.

Animals love unconditionally. Seeing your pet’s enthusiasm when they see you fills your heart and soul. A pet’s love is unconditional and the love they show can brighten any day.

Animals get you outside, especially dogs. Dogs get you out and moving, and staying active, being out doors has shown to correlate with lower stress and anxiety levels.

Finally, they make you smile. When your pet does cute things how can you not smile? Whether your pet is rolling on their back or giving you a kiss, it makes you smile and triggers neurotransmitters to fire. These pet time smiles can raise your serotonin and dopamine levels, which are nerve transmitters associated with calmness and happiness.

So go have a great time with your pet and have fun, and if you don’t have a pet volunteering at a nearby shelter can benefit the animals from your love and benefit you from their love.

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D

Black Sheep


Can we all just get along?

How to improve family relationships. Are you the black sheep of your family?

Sometimes individuals can feel like the black sheep of the family, and of course, that’s not a good emotion. So how do we improve these family dynamics and relationships? First being open and having honest conversations with your family about your feelings is the best place to start. Be true to who you are and your feelings and express them in a healthy way. When needed seek support from friends and outsiders who can help provide important feedback and suggestions. At times seeking a family therapist for the family as a whole can always be a great effective option as well.

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D

Heartbreak (and what you need to know after a break up)


 

This is all you need to know after a break up:

Breakups are difficult and can be extremely emotional roller coasters. It’s essential after a break up to take care of you, self-care is so important, so take the time to be good and kind to yourself.

This is a new chapter of your life, and taking the steps to let go of your past and that relationship is the first step. It’s still going to be painful and it’s going to take time, but remember time heals all wounds. So start this new chapter for yourself. Remember we don’t have control of the outside world, but we can control are reactions and responses, so take this time to focus on yourself and your well being. Breathe in, breathe out, surround yourself with great friends and family and begin the process of your new chapter.

No blame, challenge those negative thoughts. You might begin to blame yourself or partner for the break up, either way this leads to negative self talk and brings you to a dark place, so change it up. Focus on you, your accomplishments, your amazing traits and what makes you so very special. At first this may be hard; but positive self-talk is essential towards this recovery after the break up.

You are the star of your life, the star of your show, and make it the story you want to read, and more importantly you want to live. Be easy on yourself, take it slow and this to shall pass.

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D