stress

Feb

2022

Slay the Anxiety Stress Away

Slay The Anxiety/ Stress Away

Often I see clients at my practice in Westchester NY for counseling and therapy with stress and anxiety like symptoms, which can become fairly intrusive in their lives. So let’s talk about some simple ways to start to slay the anxiety/ stress away.

First, let’s try to figure out what’s causing this anxiety, is it something to do with the environment, is there an identified trigger? And if so, let’s make the changes to begin to alleviate the trigger so that we can begin to lower the anxiety.

Second, what can we do now in this moment to lower the anxiety? I often have my client’s journal their emotions. Journaling is a healthy outlet and coping skill with enormous therapeutic benefits, so get that note pad, diary out and begin to journal these emotions and feelings to let them out.

Next, how about some positive self talk, reassuring self-talk. Positive statements and reassuring statements can help to lower the stress or anxiety level in the moment. You can say things as “this to shall pass”, “I’m ok, I’m safe” try it out today and feel and see the difference.

Breathing exercises are also extremely helpful with lowering stress levels. Take a 5- 10-minute break, sit your self down in a quiet and relaxed space and work on doing some deep breathing. Breathing in through your nose out through your mouth. Try doing counts of 4, inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds and breathe out for 4 seconds, consistently focusing on your breath.

Practicing mindfulness is also a great way to lower stress levels. Being in the moment, slowing it all down and working in the here and now is a wonderful way to lower levels of stress. Focus on your five senses, bring yourself to this very moment, when you focus more on your senses you will become less tense, hence lowering your stress level.

Another way to lower stress or anxiety levels is essential oils. Lavender is a wonderful essential oil that has many healing properties and is a natural remedy to lower stress levels. Whether it’s applying the lavender to your skin or using a diffuser with the scent, both can help to lower levels of stress.

Next, we can work on the elimination of negative self-talk. Negative self-talk can leave you feeling unmotivated, stressed and overwhelmed. Thoughts precede feelings and negative thoughts lead to negative emotions and feelings, which in hand lead to negative behaviors. The good news is we have the choice to change this and work on acknowledging the negative self-talk and in hand replacing it with positive self talk.

Another idea is exercise. Exercising increases endorphins which in hand results in positive feelings and emotions. Whether it be walking on the treadmill at a gym or going for a nice walk, exercise can become a key factor in feeling more calm and relaxed and lower stress levels.

Lastly, relaxation exercises are extremely beneficial with lowering stress level. Whether it’s a guided meditation or a progressive muscle relaxation exercise, all can be beneficial in lowering the stress level.

So today’s a NEW day, a NEW you and together we can make these changes to lower your stress, anxiety level. Try out these simple tools and tips above and let’s work together to get you to a better place.

Feb

2022

Couples: 5 Relationship repair tips for cracks in your connection

Whether you have been together for years or just a couple of months you will have points in your relationship where you feel the connection has dwindled a bit. You may feel your putting in too much effort and your partner has become aloof and absent. Perhaps, you feel you two are at a standstill and the relationship isn’t progressing or maybe you feel you two are on different pages, that your lifestyles don’t match up anymore. Regardless of what the reason for the disconnection is, if the relationship is important to you there are always tricks of the handle to try and resurface a strong connection.

1. Discover your (and your partners) love language

Are you someone whose love language is words of affirmation, physical touch, receiving gifts, quality time, or acts of service? Knowing your love language is important and will help you communicate with your partner what makes you feel appreciated and closer to someone. Knowing your partners love language is equally as important because you want to be providing your partner with actions that matter to them and that take the guesswork out of what they are needing from you.

2. Take space

No, this does not mean going on a break! Taking space simply means taking a step back from the situation. Your disconnection with your partner may be such a constant trail of thoughts on your mind that you may need to step back and reconnect with yourself first. Sometimes we allow our thoughts to get ahead of us and we will make a mountain out of a molehill. There could be a chance the disconnection you are feeling about your relationship is actually not as major as your negative thoughts have allowed you to believe. Your partner may not be even feeling the crack! So ask yourself, “Is this situation really that big of a deal, or is it all in my head?”

3. Bring it back to the beginning

There is a theory that if you bring yourself to the spot where your love was at its strongest, the feelings you had there will return. Where was the date you two felt in total contentment and deep connection? Where you felt you two were at your best? Go back to that spot. Being at this spot may re-spark your initial feelings and allow you to remember what your bond felt like before.

4. Go get some cocktails together

Sounds like a first date, right? How long has it been since you heard from someone your interested in, “Hey, want to meet up for some drinks?”….probably too long! Go to one of your favorite restaurants together, put the phone away and act like this is your first night out on the town together! Having fun can be easily forgotten with all the noise. This can also be done COVID style by bringing the cocktails at home. Have a cocktail-making night; most grocery stores have delicious kits and mixes to make right at home.

5. Just ask

If you feel there is a disconnection in your relationship and you are not liking it, just straight up ask your partner if anything is wrong or if they have been feeling the same way lately. This is probably the scariest and most serious option out of them all, but probably the one that will give you the most clarity and answers to your concern(s). Lay out on the table what has been bothering you and what you have been feeling lately. Write it down beforehand if you want; sometimes the most intimidating conversations are the ones that are the most necessary.

Feb

2022

Couple in Quarantine

In the interview below I share some pointers for couples during quarantine, and other mental health resources. Be well, be safe, be easy my friends ðŸ‘«Â¸

Feb

2022

Three ways to build on your self-esteem

Let’s talk about self-esteem. That word that either scares the hell out of you, or you feel secure and confident about. For some it brings back high school memories and feeling a sense of instability with your confidence. Others when they hear the word self-esteem, It highlights something that they need to work on or continue to work on. No matter what your age, or gender, self-esteem is essential.

So whether we call it self-esteem, self confidence, self-love, self-worth it all equates to the way we internally feel about ourselves and even deeper our self care reflection.

Below is a list of three ways that you can start today to build your self-esteem, easy beginners guide.

1. Positive mantras

Practicing positive self talk, positive mantras or positive affirmations changes your internal talk to yourself. It can be something that you practice every single day, and or can be your response for when things go wrong, not as planned. Remember we’re all only human, and there is no such thing as perfection or perfect. We all make mistakes, but the best part of mistakes and things going wrong is it leads to deep self growth and development. It’s all about the way we react and respond when these things happen, instead of doubting and eliciting negative self talk, reframe into positive or reassuring self talk. Here’s some examples of some positive self talk, positive mantras that you can begin using today:

I am worthy

I am loved

I am a good person

I am beautiful

I am strong

I am wise

I have courage

I have strong resilience

I can do this

I will over come this

I am doing my best

I am in control

I am a good mother, father, daughter, son, friend, sister, brother, etc.

I love my body

I love myself

I am worthy

2. Another way to build on self-esteem is practicing self-care daily. Remember self-care is not selfish it’s essential. To start practicing self-care, it can be as simple as being kind to yourself and doing things that makes you smile, things that are good for your soul. Whether it be treating yourself to a manicure, starting therapy, or continuing, or simply sitting in a park in silence it’s doing something for you and makes you feel good, that’s all that matters and counts.

3. Lastly, to improve self-esteem is by surrounding yourself with friends and family members who support you and love you unconditionally. You deserve the same love and compassion that you show to so many, make sure that the people you surround yourself with, a.k.a. tribe, are kind to you, our supportive, our loving, and authentic, and remember it’s ok to say no.

I encourage you to begin to practice the three simple items on this list today, and you will begin to notice how your self-esteem grows and increases.

Namaste my friends

Intuitive authentic psychotherapy in Westchester NY

Feb

2022

How to Stick to Your New Year’s Resolutions

At the beginning of each year, we want to start fresh – we feel inspired to get rid of old habits, change unproductive behavior patterns, boost our health, enhance our job performance, improve relationships, and increase our life satisfaction.

This year, you feel all spirited and determined to improve yourself in the honor of the New Year. Whether your New Year’s resolutions include finding a soulmate, getting a better job, losing weight or starting psychotherapy, go easy on yourself and make your goals realistic. That’s the most important step in making your New Year’s resolutions stick throughout the year.

How to Achieve Your New Year’s Resolutions and Make Them Stick

If you set too many goals or make your resolutions nonsensical, you may find yourself overwhelmed and discouraged by the very end of January. The failure to keep your resolutions at the beginning of the year can be dispiriting and stressful and may negatively affect your self-esteem and confidence, weaken your resilience, and increase your anxiety.

Therefore, it is important to make your New Year’s resolutions wisely. Here are a few tips to help you stick to your goals.

1. Set Clear Goals

A successful individual always sets clear goals. Setting goals is a vital part of your New Year’s resolutions. Goals will provide motivation and a clear vision: when you know what you want from life, and more importantly, and how to achieve that, you are more likely to succeed. Setting clear goals will help you focus on getting the needed skills and staying organized.

2. Visualize Your Goals

Once you set your goals, make sure to write them down and visualize actions you need to take to realize those goals. Visualization or mental rehearsal (imagining yourself in a specific situation, performing a specific activity or achieving a specific goal) will help you make your goals tangible. Visualization is a powerful motivation tool that can help you build confidence, improve mood and increase motivation.

3. Keep Your Resolutions Realistic

Whether you decide to exercise more, date more, polish your communication skills, or upgrade your professional assets, keep in mind that no results can happen overnight. Don’t expect to see the effects too soon. Give yourself time and stay realistic in setting your New Year’s goals.

For example, if you made getting in shape your New Year’s resolution, don’t get disappointed if you don’t see results shortly. Focus on small changes to your fitness habits, for example, start with planning a gym three times a week. Otherwise, you may burn out quickly and feel irritated for not being able to achieve your New Year’s goals.

4. Make your Goals Specific

Unclear goals and resolutions won’t work. If you want to keep your New Year’s resolutions, you need to develop a specific plan for change and map out a clear strategy. For example, if you want to improve your communication skills, target a precise skill you would like to gain or the specific communication patterns that you would like to change. Then plan precise and detailed mini-goals you want to accomplish, e.g., not to withdraw from communication when you feel overwhelmed. Also, visualize the change in your behavior and improvements in your relationships you want to achieve.

5. Plan Small

No matter how generous you may feel at the beginning of the new year, make New Year’s resolutions that you can keep. For instance, if your goal is to change some unhealthy behaviors, change one behavior at a time. This way you won’t feel overwhelmed.

6. Don’t Be Hard on Yourself

Don’t strive for perfection when setting your New Year’s goals. Also, don’t be too rigorous to yourself if you don’t always keep strictly to your resolutions. Don’t give up because you skipped a gym workout or didn’t get a promotion at work. The flaws when changing your thoughts, behaviors, or habits are completely normal and shouldn’t discourage you.

7. Incorporate the Resolutions into Your Daily Life

Turning your New Year’s resolutions into habits will make it easier to make these intentions stick throughout the year. For example, make a gratitude practice your everyday morning routine and stick to it. This will boost your mood, improve your resilience, and help fight dysfunctional thoughts. Make other healthy lifestyle choices and include them in your everyday habits.

8. Track Your Progress

Studies show that self-monitoring increases the probability of keeping your New Year resolutions. So, make sure to record your changed behavior daily, weekly or monthly using a calendar or a chart. This will boost your self-esteem and motivate you to reach your goals.

9. Reach Out for Counseling

If, regardless of your desire and determination, you still feel that cannot achieve your New Year’s goals on your own, seek professional support. Your counselor can suggest some useful strategies for making your resolutions stick, help you change unproductive thoughts and behaviors and encourage you to work on your emotional issues.

The New Year’s resolutions are a sound way to do something good for yourself. And even if you don’t accomplish all your goals, it’s not the end of the world. However, to make sure you don’t blow it after only a few weeks, keep your goals realistic and manageable. This will ensure your resolutions stick and help you make positive changes in your life.

Recent Posts