How to let go/ release an ex


The break up. It’s not easy, it’s not comfortable, it hurts, it feels like it’s never ending and sometimes wanting to go back to our ex despite logically knowing the break up is what’s best for you. The emotional part of you still feels attached. Here’s steps on how to let go of your ex.


Cut off contact

It’s hard but it’s necessary, the answer is no you don’t need to be friends. You don’t need to text or call.


Delete them on social media

Delete them off all social media platforms. Following them and checking what they are up to is not healthy for your healing and release of your ex.


Let go of the fantasy

People often mourn the relationship they thought they could have. They remember all the good and forget about any of the negative. Remind yourself that the break up was necessary for your both if it was unhealthy and not working any longer.


Make peace with the past

Forgiveness. Forgiveness is not about letting your ex of the hook for there actions, it’s about your emotional freedom.


Know it’s ok to still love them

But know that love in itself is not what makes a healthy relationship. Love by itself is not enough to make a relationship work.



Love yourself more

Never expect someone else to treat you better then you treat yourself. You are the model for how you deserve to be treated. Love yourself more to know your worth and give yourself the gift of letting go of a relationship that no longer was working out.


Reach out to a therapist to support you on this journey.

New day vitality is honored to be apart of your journey. Click on the link below to connect with us.




Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella

Couples: 5 Relationship repair tips for cracks in your connection

Whether you have been together for years or just a couple of months you will have points in your relationship where you feel the connection has dwindled a bit. You may feel your putting in too much effort and your partner has become aloof and absent. Perhaps, you feel you two are at a standstill and the relationship isn’t progressing or maybe you feel you two are on different pages, that your lifestyles don’t match up anymore. Regardless of what the reason for the disconnection is, if the relationship is important to you there are always tricks of the handle to try and resurface a strong connection.

1. Discover your (and your partners) love language

Are you someone whose love language is words of affirmation, physical touch, receiving gifts, quality time, or acts of service? Knowing your love language is important and will help you communicate with your partner what makes you feel appreciated and closer to someone. Knowing your partners love language is equally as important because you want to be providing your partner with actions that matter to them and that take the guesswork out of what they are needing from you.

2. Take space

No, this does not mean going on a break! Taking space simply means taking a step back from the situation. Your disconnection with your partner may be such a constant trail of thoughts on your mind that you may need to step back and reconnect with yourself first. Sometimes we allow our thoughts to get ahead of us and we will make a mountain out of a molehill. There could be a chance the disconnection you are feeling about your relationship is actually not as major as your negative thoughts have allowed you to believe. Your partner may not be even feeling the crack! So ask yourself, “Is this situation really that big of a deal, or is it all in my head?”

3. Bring it back to the beginning

There is a theory that if you bring yourself to the spot where your love was at its strongest, the feelings you had there will return. Where was the date you two felt in total contentment and deep connection? Where you felt you two were at your best? Go back to that spot. Being at this spot may re-spark your initial feelings and allow you to remember what your bond felt like before.

4. Go get some cocktails together

Sounds like a first date, right? How long has it been since you heard from someone your interested in, “Hey, want to meet up for some drinks?”….probably too long! Go to one of your favorite restaurants together, put the phone away and act like this is your first night out on the town together! Having fun can be easily forgotten with all the noise. This can also be done COVID style by bringing the cocktails at home. Have a cocktail-making night; most grocery stores have delicious kits and mixes to make right at home.

5. Just ask

If you feel there is a disconnection in your relationship and you are not liking it, just straight up ask your partner if anything is wrong or if they have been feeling the same way lately. This is probably the scariest and most serious option out of them all, but probably the one that will give you the most clarity and answers to your concern(s). Lay out on the table what has been bothering you and what you have been feeling lately. Write it down beforehand if you want; sometimes the most intimidating conversations are the ones that are the most necessary.

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella

Relationship Building


How can we build on our relationships with our significant others?

Communication is key for any relationship; When communication isn’t clear things begin to take a negative route. Communicating simply means developing healthy communication skills, not just hearing what the other person is saying but understanding the message the other person is trying to get across. Take the time to listen, understand and reflect on your significant others feelings.

Trust is another key component in building a stable long-lasting relationship. Ways to develop trust involve being reliable, telling the truth, and meaning what you say. Trust means openness, don’t keep secrets, honesty is always the best policy.

Be honest, be open and the relationship will grow from there.

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella

Black Sheep

Can we all just get along?

How to improve family relationships. Are you the black sheep of your family?

Sometimes individuals can feel like the black sheep of the family, and of course, that’s not a good emotion. So how do we improve these family dynamics and relationships? First being open and having honest conversations with your family about your feelings is the best place to start. Be true to who you are and your feelings and express them in a healthy way. When needed seek support from friends and outsiders who can help provide important feedback and suggestions. At times seeking a family therapist for the family as a whole can always be a great effective option as well.

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella