How To Deal With The Stress During The Holidays

As the holidays arise we feel numerous different emotions in Westchester NY. Happiness, sadness, stress and perhaps even overwhelmed.

When it’s that time of year you may feel a sense of hope, rebirth, positivity and warmth. However, this can also involve feelings of stress due to all the tasks that revolve around holiday time. Whether it be family stress, shopping, missing loved ones that have moved on; it’s true the holidays can bring about stress. So how do we deal with stress around the holidays in NY?

First, healthy coping skills are essential for dealing with holiday stress. Acknowledge your feelings and validate them. Than, practice your healthy coping skills and good self care. Practice compassion for yourself and for others. Take it slow and remember to breathe.

Create a plan for a budget, if financial stress is a component around the holidays. Plan a head and don’t over spend, remember the holidays is about love, family and friends, not about the gifts.

Reach out to friends and family when feeling lonely. Some individuals may feel a sense of loss during the holidays and it’s important to reach out and talk about your emotions. Surround yourself with positive, supportive people and talk about the way you feel.

Family stress is another possible stressor around the holidays. Could it be your in laws? Or your parents? Remember don’t take on there emotions, validate your own and separation is key. Practice mindful meditation and focus on the here and now.

Practice positive self talk and reassuring self talk to boost positivity and eliminate negative thoughts.

If the holiday stress is missing a loved one whom has passed on, focus on the beauty and the memories that you have with that person. Remember our memories are sacred and always our personal recollections of loved ones. Talk about the person, and relate these feelings to your support systems to help validate the way you feel.

Professional help may be needed, Psychotherapy and counseling can be extremely helpful. If so reach out to a local therapist to seek help, remember we are here help and want to be apart of your journey to wellness.

Through the hustle of the holidays, be true to the meaning of the holidays, spending time with love ones, feeling grateful and surrounding yourself with positivity.

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella

Things you should share or have in common with your significant other


Opposites attract right? The cliche statement for all couples, however there is some aspects that you should have in common with your partner.

In order to have a successful relationship, it doesn’t mean you need to have all aspects in common but having similar beliefs on many can be extremely helpful for the couple.

Check out the list below:

1. Trust, trust is essential for successful relationships, trust builds a secure bond and mutual respect.

2. That brings in the next aspect, respect, having mutual respect from one another makes the difference between a healthy relationship vs. an unhealthy relationship.

3. Similar interests, when it comes to foods, movies, etc. This is important as your going to being having most of your meals together, thus having a common liking is important. Similar movies and interests also allows you to enjoy things you like together as a couple.

4. You’re a team. Being a collaborative team allows you and your partner to love one another, support one another and have one another to achieve goals together.

5. Communication is key, your communication should be effective and so should your partners in order to promote healthy communication between the two.

6. Listening skills and empathy is another key element for successful relationships and partners to have in common.

7. Life/Future goals need to be similar, do you want kids? Do you want to purchase a home? Having similar life goals, allows for couple to feel motivated and inspired with their partner to obtain them.

8. Family boundaries, essential!! Having similar family boundaries is so important to have in common with your partner to avoid unnecessary disagreements and to live harmoniously with family.

9. Finances, finance expectations need to be similar, so that both partners understand the financial plan that both have independently and can bring together cohesively for the relationship.

10. Expectations, what is one another expectations on the relationship, on life? Having similar, common expectations allows couples to flourish and succeed.

11. Express appreciation, both partners need to feel validate and appreciated, this makes the difference between a successful couple vs. unsuccessful couple, give compliments, appreciate the love you two have together.

12. Values need to be similar, often I encourage my engaged couples to have these conversations to ensure that their core values and morals match up.

13. Hobbies, similar hobbies is wonderful for couples to have in common, it allows the couple to enjoy the things they love to do together.

14. Chores, successful couples have a clear structure of chores and how to share the roles.

15. Don’t hold grudges, learn to forgive and grow and develop together.

16. Accept one another, differences, good, bad and all, love unconditionally always.


Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella

3 Tips For Making Your Life More Rewarding/More Positive

As human beings, we always want our lives to be meaningful, rewarding and positive right? Through the chaos of life at times, sometimes we don’t feel like our lives are as rewarding or positive as they could be. Thus, here I share 3 tips on ways to make your life more rewarding, starting today.

Reward your self; reflect on the positive things in your life. So how do we do this? I always encourage keeping a gratitude journal. Keeping a gratitude journal can help you to reflect on the things in your life that your grateful for, the positive things. In keeping a gratitude journal you’re grounding yourself as well as rewarding yourself to reflect on all the beautiful things in your life that surround you that we may not take notice of on a daily basis, so highlight them with your gratitude journal.

Next, to live a more rewarding, positive life I encourage you to be true to yourself. Being honest, and your authentic self-letting down any barriers that may have arisen through the years is authenticity. When you let those barriers down, theirs no pressure, you become your true self. Believe in yourself, follow your dreams and aspirations and remember you can do it!

Give yourself credit, self care. Being good to yourself and rewarding your self can help you feel more confident and stronger. I encourage you to let go of the fears, overcome your challenges, and remember to always be good to yourself, because you are beautiful, you are special and you make this world a better place.

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella

3 Ways To Be More Affectionate To Your Partner


Often I see couples whom feel as if the “spark” is know longer present in their relationship, which for many can be very concerning. So how can we be more affectionate to your partner? Here are three tips of ways to be more affectionate to your partner today.

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Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella

Want to feel closer to your significant other?


We all always want to feel a close, deep connection to our partner, and often I get the question how after the “honeymoon period” is over?

Here’s some ways that you can begin to immediately feel closer to your partner.

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Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella