Boundaries boundaries boundaries

Boundaries can be hard, sometimes even feel impossible but they are essential for our mental health, in fact they are normal. Here’s some awesome statements you can use to enforce or elicit a healthy boundary when needed and find it difficult to enforce.

• I appreciate hearing your opinion, but I’m not willing to change my mind on this.
• Can you explain your thoughts on this?
• That has not been my experience.
• I’m interested by what you’re saying, though I’m not sure how it would work.
• I would like it if we could just agree to disagree.

• I’m putting my needs first and you won’t make me feel guilty.
• I don’t feel like I have a chance to voice my opinion here.
• I feel like I shut down when you take over the conversation.
• That may have been the case in your situation. But in this situation, mine is different.
• I understand why you think that might work. But here’s why it won’t for me.
• I hear how you feel. But now it’s time to talk about how I feel.
• I feel uncomfortable when you bring this up in front of everyone. Next time, please just talk to me about it when we are alone.

• I’m an adult and capable of making my own decisions
• My reasons are personal, and I don’t have to explain them to you or anyone else.
• I have my reasons and I don’t have to explain them.
• I do not have to explain myself to you or anyone else, ever.
• I prefer not to say or answer.
• I’m confident in my decision.
• I won’t allow you to use guilt to control or change my mind. I have made my decision.
• My feelings are as equally important as yours, they matter.

I am a firm believer of the growth that comes from positive affirmations and mantras. Here’s a list of some of my favorite mantras, 21 to be precise. I encourage you to use one each day for the next 21 days. Feel the mantra. Own the mantra. Live the mantra.

Often a question that comes into conversation in therapy is how do I show up authentically? How do I show up as myself, flaws and all? I absolutely love this question. You know what it tells me? It tells me that the person is ready to be themselves, to be untamed, uncut, uncensored and real and this therapist heart smiles.

Make decisions and commitments that align with your values, truth and beliefs

Listen to your inner voice and trust her, she won’t steer you wrong

Do what makes your soul happy

Spend time around those that accept you the exact way you are

Allow yourself to be vulnerable

Go into experiences with an open heart

Be true to your needs and wants

Lead with empathy

Create a safe space for difficult conversations

Listen and respond to feedback

Align with your spirit

Be honest with yourself

Pursue your dreams and passion

Invite vulnerable conversations and interactions

Develop the courage to face your fears

Love yourself unconditionally

Check in with your true beliefs

Speak your truth

Find your life purpose

Affirm your potential

Be perfectly imperfect, be you. Showing up as yourself is the most freeing, liberating and extraordinary gift you can give yourself. Allow yourself time and patience while working towards living your truest most authentic self and have fun friends.

“Don’t let the expectations and opinions of other people affect your decisions. It’s your life, not theirs. Do what matters most to you; do what makes you feel alive and happy. Don’t let the expectations and ideas of others limit who you are. If you let others tell you who you are, you are living their reality ” not yours. There is more to life than pleasing people. There is much more to life than following others’ prescribed path. There is so much more to life than what you experience right now. You need to decide who you are for yourself. Become a whole being. Adventure.”

https://youtu.be/0zFlD5LFe9o

How often I hear people say and ask about a time line for healing, how many months? How many hours ? How many days? How many years? Well the truth is it’s not linear and there’s not a time frame that anyone can ever give you. Healing is a bumpy road, with turns, twists, hills and valleys. The road to healing is the road to processing and that road isn’t always easy or simple. With that being said healing can be slow or slower then one may want and that’s ok because slow healing should most definitely be celebrated and is amazing.

There’s ways you can celebrate yourself on your healing journey. Here’s a couple that I like to share with clients.

Focus on your accomplishments and strengths even if there small steps

Let go of expectations and time frames and fully emerge yourself on your journey.

Give yourself a hug, a big kudos for the hard work you’ve done and how your continuing to work on you, even when it’s hard.

Take time for you. Take a moment to just reflect on yourself and how far you’ve come.

Journal your experience, journal your feelings and your journey.

I’m healing

I’m putting myself first

I believe in me

I can do this

I honor myself

I honor my journey

I’m doing great

I’m proud of me

I’m a work in progress

I deserve unconditional love

I love myself

I can do this

I will give myself the love and compassion I deserve

I will practice self love today

I will do something kind for myself today

I will love myself a little more today

I will listen to my body

I will dream big

I deserve happiness

I own who I am, perfectly imperfect

All steps are steps, whether moving in a fast pace or slow. Take time to celebrate yourself and the work you have done and how far you have come. We all need to start somewhere. Start today.