How to Keep Your Cool When Feeling Triggered?

How to keep your cool when feeling triggered by another person?

Fight, flight, and freeze during anger

So we have all been there, anger is an emotion everyone experiences. Here’s an interesting fact, anger is a secondary emotion, and the primary emotion is typically something more similar to sadness, disappointment. Then why do we experience it? Its because anger is a more tangible easier response then the primary emotion. Particularly when we feel triggered by another person, perhaps even a loved one. It may elicit feelings of vulnerability, exposure and even trapped. Lets talk about some ways to cool down when feeling triggered by another person.


Feeling angry, don’t want to say anything I may regret

So you feel triggered, upset, seeing red, may say something to a love one you might regret. How do you slow it down? First, if your able to walk away, take a moment to yourself it can literally be the most helpful couple of minutes. Simply excuse yourself from the environment or situation to give your mind and body the opportunity to calm down and regulate. When you feel ready you can return to the conversation and environment.


Visualization for anger

Visualization can be very helpful to calm down. Close your eyes and envision yourself in your favorite place, stay there for a couple minutes until you feel ready to return to the conversation. Try this visualization exercise out,


The count down for anger

Counting from 1-10 is an easy way to separate yourself mentally in a heighten situation. It’s simple yet very regulating.


Talk to a friend

Sometimes reaching out to a trustful, safe love one to talk about your experience can help calm heighten emotions, you also can gain support.


Slow down and focus on you breathe, become mindful

Lastly, breathing exercises can help regulate your system when feeling triggered. Take a couple minutes to slow down your breathing, focus on your breathe and re- regulate.


Talk to your therapist

Therapy is a great way to learn how to manage and regulate your emotions when you’ve been triggered or even before you’ve been triggered by another person.

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella