stress

Healthy Boundaries


We all have heard about them. Some of us have practiced them. Sometimes they feel comfortable and necessary and sometimes they feel impossible to implement. Let’s jump in and talk about healthy boundaries.

What is a healthy boundary?

First let’s define healthy boundaries to get a better understanding of the meaning and concept.

According to divethru.com a healthy boundary can be defined as the following

Setting boundaries means drawing a clear line for what people can and can’t say or do to you so that you don’t get taken advantage of. They’re like an instruction manual for your body and mind, with an extra little “handle with care” section on the first page. You use boundaries to make your own personal growth a priority, improve relationships and conserve emotional energy! Setting healthy boundaries means that you, your values for other people. You stand by your values and, in turn, respect other people’s boundaries. But, it is good to keep your boundaries flexible, because they may change over time if you decide to step out of your comfort zone. Healthy boundaries are in contrast to rigid boundaries where you tend to avoid intimacy and come off as detached. And, porous boundaries, which involve oversharing personal information and having trouble saying “no.’ But it’s totally normal to sometimes take on qualities from all of the above!

So now that we have defined healthy boundaries let’s discuss the different boundaries.

Types of boundaries

  • Personal Space: also known as your “bubble.”
  • Physical: what you like and don’t like in bed or with casual contact.
  • Emotional: your level of comfort with sharing what’s on your mind.
  • Material: how much you are willing to share certain things or possessions.
  • Time And Energy: how much you are comfortable giving to something or someone.
  • Intellectual: the topics you are and aren’t open to talking about (like politics).

Why are boundaries important?

Healthy boundaries are necessary components for self-care. Without boundaries, we feel depleted, taken advantage of, taken for granted, or intruded upon. Whether it’s in work or in our personal relationships, poor boundaries may lead to resentment, hurt, anger, and burnout. As explained in https://www.theresiliencecentre.com.au/boundaries-why-are-they-important/

Examples of ways to practice healthy boundaries

Saying no

Listening to your body

Doing what is in the best interest of you

Walking away from uncomfortable environments

Do self reflection

Make small steps and grow

Be consistent with boundaries

void social media

Be your biggest advocate and supporter

It might take some time and consideration to explore and decide the boundaries most important to you and the best ways to implement them, but your mental health will appreciate the effort in the long run. Begin to implement healthy boundaries in your life today, it’s necessary. Learn more: https://clopanetherapy.com/individual-therapy/.

 

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D

Anxiety and Self-Care


I feel anxious, how do I implement self-care?

Let’s first define anxiety and talk about some symptoms one may experience with anxiety before we get into how to improve self-care.

Defining Anxiety

Anxiety is defined by the American Psychological Association as “Anxiety is an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts and physical changes like increased blood pressure. People with anxiety disorders usually have recurring intrusive thoughts or concerns. They may avoid certain situations out of worry. They may also have physical symptoms such as sweating, trembling, dizziness or a rapid heartbeat.”

To read more check out their site: https://www.apa.org/topics/anxiety

Now we understand anxiety and symptoms how do we implement self-care regimens to lower anxiety?

Anxiety can be very stressful. It can effect multiple parts of your life, including your every day activities. But there’s steps that you can take to help lower your anxiety level and improve your self care. Here’s some self-care ideas you can implement to potentially help lower your anxiety level.

Mindfulness

Mindful breathing

Progressive muscle relaxation

Talk to someone you trust

Talk to a therapist

Mediation

Journaling

Listening to soothing music

Journal your worries in a worry jar

Get enough sleep

Eat healthy

Join a peer support group

Listen to an inspiring podcast

Go for a walk

Be in nature

Watch the sunset

Watch the sunrise

Yoga

Drink a glass of water

Stretch

Watch funny videos on YouTube

Make a list of inspiring quotes

How do I pick a self-care tool to help with my anxiety?

Now that you have some ideas of ways to practice self-care often times the next question I get is which one do I try out first? My answer, always the same. The one that you feel most drawn to. So for instance, if your a person who loves being outdoors, then watching the sunset, or rise or even going for a walk outside may be one that you may enjoy. So try that out first. If for some reason it doesn’t feel fitting then try another one, literally go down the list of ideas till you find one or even many that you find helpful. Remember you have to give yourself the time to see if you enjoy it and it’s helpful and also it’s not one size fits all. One exercise a friend may use and find helpful may not be the same for you and likewise. So be patient with yourself and try out what feels most fitting and appealing to you. For more ideas on self- care, check out this list of 100 self-care ideas to create an authentic life you love: https://olgaphoenix.com/blog/100-self-care-ideas-to-create-authentic-life-you-love/

Now we have some ideas of self-care regimens we can implement how is self-care going to help lower anxiety?

Self-care is a way to regulate your system. Self-care also is a way to put your needs first. By practicing self-care one becomes more mindful. Being mindful helps to lower stress and worry and practice being present, more grounded and centered. Practicing mindfulness can also help an individual turn inward and become quiet and still and to focus attention on what’s happening in the moment and less attention on the past or future. When one is able to practice being present we are able to support ourselves in the here and now. Self-care and mindfulness go hand and hand. Try some new self-care tools out today and begin to see your anxiety level come down.

To learn more about mindfulness, check out our page on mindfulness: https://clopanetherapy.com/mindfulness-therapy/

 

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D

Healthy morning routine


 

How do we start the day off right?

How to create a healthy morning routine

Here’s some tips on how to start off the day right:
First, the night before ensure you’re getting enough sleep. Get to bed early and limit screen time, especially before bed.
Set an alarm
Have you ever woken up late? Then you rush around and feel completely off the entire day. Set an alarm, avoid the chaos.
Open the window
Allow natural light to flow into your space
Stretch
Enjoy a nice full body stretch
Eat a healthy breakfast
Eat a healthy breakfast that fuels your mind and body.
Drink a glass of water, dehydration is a major cause of physically and emotional stress.
Deep breathing
Focus on your breathe
Meditation
Ground and center yourself prior to beginning the day.

Go out and conquer the day

https://youtu.be/pxWOpGm4d7U

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D

Tips on getting through the holidays when it feels like to much


 

So the holidays are coming up, how exciting?
But also stressful and to some not exciting at all.
The holidays can elicit a range of emotions for many, even weeks leading up.

Most importantly for holiday stress:

Honor your feelings and practice self-love, kindness, boundaries and patience with you self. This sounds simple but can be extremely hard.
Here we have come up with some helpful mantras to help lower holiday stress:
Use the ones you feel drawn to
I will practice kindness
I will be patient with myself, friends and family
I will practice healthy boundaries
I will say no when I need to
I will let go of my expectations specially the very high ones
I will remember the meaning of the holiday, release society standards
I will show love to myself and those around me
I will take it one moment at a time
If I need space if I need distance I will honor that
I will be kind to myself each second of the day
I give myself permission to slow down when I need it
I will practice mindfulness
I will practice self love
We are all connected in this universe
I miss love ones and I will honor that
I will practice gratitude
I will honor my budget
If I need a boundary between family and friends I will practice it
I will give myself the gift of kindness today
Also check out these awesome mantras for holidays stress from https://www.tiffanynapper.com/blog/15-holiday-mantras

WHEN YOU ARE OVERWHELMED:

1. I have control over how I feel, and I choose to feel at peace.

2. I give myself permission to let go of what no longer serves me.

3. It will get done.

 

WHEN YOU ARE LONELY:

4. I can make space for loneliness and practice being kind to myself.

5. We are all connected after all.

6. Loneliness will always pass.

 

WHEN MONEY IS TIGHT:

7. I will always have enough.

8. Gratitude awakens the good in my life.

9. I give and receive with grace.

 

WHEN YOUR FAMILY STRESSES YOU OUT:

10. I open my heart and accept others as they are.

11. Stay present. Get grounded. I have nothing but love to give.

12. I choose uplifting encounters, and I have the power to remove myself from negative situations.

 

WHEN YOU ARE DOWN ON YOURSELF:

13. I am deserving and worthy of all good things.

14. I treat myself with love and respect.

15. I give myself permission to prioritize the things that bring me joy, creativity, and connection.

 

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D

How to Begin to Build Self-Esteem

 

 

4 Simple steps to start today to build your self-esteem and self-confidence:

Boosting Self-esteem

Set time aside for you.

It’s important to ensure that we are setting time to be with ourselves. Believe it or not alone time is an easy way to begin to build the bridge to strengthen self-esteem. I often encourage clients to schedule in every day ‘me time’. During that time, do something you enjoy, something that is for you, only you and makes you smile.

 

Write down goals and work towards them- grow, evolve your self-esteem

In order to build self-esteem we need to set goals for ourselves and then meet them. Begin by setting small, realistic tangible goals that you can meet and you will. Slowly grow that list to something bigger and reflect on how awesome you are on setting the intention to reach and then meeting the goal.

Do what makes you happy= higher self-esteem

Sounds simple huh? But isn’t always. We don’t always do what makes us happy, we often do things to make others happy. I encourage you to set a reminder one a week to do something for you that makes you and only you happy. It can be as simple as saying no to plans that your just not in the mood for to as complex as planning that grand vacation that you have wanted to do for years. Set the intentions, work towards the internal happiness and in hand build you self-esteem.

Be perfectly imperfect= better self-esteem

We often set such high expectations for ourselves. To be perfect, to do it all, to be it all. Well I challenge you to release and let go of all of that and just be you. Just showing up as yourself allows you to be the most authentic version of you, showing up perfectly imperfect. When we release all of the expectations we truly begin to trust and own our most desirable selves. Trust the process and just be you, perfectly imperfect.

Check out these awesome blogs that talks about more ways to build on your self-esteem today:

https://www.realbuzz.com/articles-interests/health/article/10-strange-tricks-to-boost-your-self-esteem/

https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-boost-your-self-confidence-4163098

https://www.mindtools.com/selfconf.html

https://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifehack/63-ways-to-build-self-confidence.html

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D