self-esteem

04
May
2023

How to let go/ release an ex


 

The break up. It’s not easy, it’s not comfortable, it hurts, it feels like it’s never ending and sometimes wanting to go back to our ex despite logically knowing the break up is what’s best for you. The emotional part of you still feels attached. Here’s steps on how to let go of your ex.

 

Cut off contact

It’s hard but it’s necessary, the answer is no you don’t need to be friends. You don’t need to text or call.

 

Delete them on social media

Delete them off all social media platforms. Following them and checking what they are up to is not healthy for your healing and release of your ex.

 

Let go of the fantasy

People often mourn the relationship they thought they could have. They remember all the good and forget about any of the negative. Remind yourself that the break up was necessary for your both if it was unhealthy and not working any longer.

 

Make peace with the past

Forgiveness. Forgiveness is not about letting your ex of the hook for there actions, it’s about your emotional freedom.

 

Know it’s ok to still love them

But know that love in itself is not what makes a healthy relationship. Love by itself is not enough to make a relationship work.

 

 

Love yourself more

Never expect someone else to treat you better then you treat yourself. You are the model for how you deserve to be treated. Love yourself more to know your worth and give yourself the gift of letting go of a relationship that no longer was working out.

 

Reach out to a therapist to support you on this journey.

New day vitality is honored to be apart of your journey. Click on the link below to connect with us.

Newdayvitalitytherapy.com

 

 

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella
20
Apr
2023

Healthy Boundaries


 

We all have heard about them. Some of us have practiced them. Sometimes they feel comfortable and necessary and sometimes they feel impossible to implement. Let’s jump in and talk about healthy boundaries.

 

What is a healthy boundary?

First let’s define healthy boundaries to get a better understanding of the meaning and concept.

According to divethru.com a healthy boundary can be defined as the following

Setting boundaries means drawing a clear line for what people can and can’t say or do to you so that you don’t get taken advantage of. They’re like an instruction manual for your body and mind, with an extra little “handle with care” section on the first page. You use boundaries to make your own personal growth a priority, improve relationships and conserve emotional energy! Setting healthy boundaries means that you, your values for other people. You stand by your values and, in turn, respect other people’s boundaries. But, it is good to keep your boundaries flexible, because they may change over time if you decide to step out of your comfort zone.   Healthy boundaries are in contrast to rigid boundaries where you tend to avoid intimacy and come off as detached. And, porous boundaries, which involve oversharing personal information and having trouble saying “no.’ But it’s totally normal to sometimes take on qualities from all of the above!

So now that we have defined healthy boundaries let’s discuss the different boundaries.

 

Types of boundaries

  • Personal Space: also known as your “bubble.”
  • Physical: what you like and don’t like in bed or with casual contact.
  • Emotional: your level of comfort with sharing what’s on your mind.
  • Material: how much you are willing to share certain things or possessions.
  • Time And Energy: how much you are comfortable giving to something or someone.
  • Intellectual: the topics you are and aren’t open to talking about (like politics).

 

Why are boundaries important?

Healthy boundaries are necessary components for self-care. Without boundaries, we feel depleted, taken advantage of, taken for granted, or intruded upon. Whether it’s in work or in our personal relationships, poor boundaries may lead to resentment, hurt, anger, and burnout. As explained in https://www.theresiliencecentre.com.au/boundaries-why-are-they-important/

 

Examples of ways to practice healthy boundaries

Saying no

Listening to your body

Doing what is in the best interest of you

Walking away from uncomfortable environments

Do self reflection

Make small steps and grow

Be consistent with boundaries

void social media

Be your biggest advocate and supporter

 

It might take some time and consideration to explore and decide the boundaries most important to you and the best ways to implement them, but your mental health will appreciate the effort in the long run. Begin to implement healthy boundaries in your life today, it’s necessary. Learn more: https://clopanetherapy.com/individual-therapy/.

 

 

 

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella
06
Apr
2023

Anxiety and Self-Care


 

I feel anxious, how do I implement self-care?

Let’s first define anxiety and talk about some symptoms one may experience with anxiety before we get into how to improve self-care.

 

Defining Anxiety

Anxiety is defined by the American Psychological Association as “Anxiety is an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts and physical changes like increased blood pressure. People with anxiety disorders usually have recurring intrusive thoughts or concerns. They may avoid certain situations out of worry. They may also have physical symptoms such as sweating, trembling, dizziness or a rapid heartbeat.â€

To read more check out their site: https://www.apa.org/topics/anxiety

Now we understand anxiety and symptoms how do we implement self-care regimens to lower anxiety?

Anxiety can be very stressful. It can effect multiple parts of your life, including your every day activities. But there’s steps that you can take to help lower your anxiety level and improve your self care. Here’s some self-care ideas you can implement to potentially help lower your anxiety level.

Mindfulness

Mindful breathing

Progressive muscle relaxation

Talk to someone you trust

Talk to a therapist

Mediation

Journaling

Listening to soothing music

Journal your worries in a worry jar

Get enough sleep

Eat healthy

Join a peer support group

Listen to an inspiring podcast

Go for a walk

Be in nature

Watch the sunset

Watch the sunrise

Yoga

Drink a glass of water

Stretch

Watch funny videos on YouTube

Make a list of inspiring quotes

 

How do I pick a self-care tool to help with my anxiety?

Now that you have some ideas of ways to practice self-care often times the next question I get is which one do I try out first? My answer, always the same. The one that you feel most drawn to. So for instance, if your a person who loves being outdoors, then watching the sunset, or rise or even going for a walk outside may be one that you may enjoy. So try that out first. If for some reason it doesn’t feel fitting then try another one, literally go down the list of ideas till you find one or even many that you find helpful. Remember you have to give yourself the time to see if you enjoy it and it’s helpful and also it’s not one size fits all. One exercise a friend may use and find helpful may not be the same for you and likewise. So be patient with yourself and try out what feels most fitting and appealing to you. For more ideas on self- care, check out this list of 100 self-care ideas to create an authentic life you love: https://olgaphoenix.com/blog/100-self-care-ideas-to-create-authentic-life-you-love/

 

Now we have some ideas of self-care regimens we can implement how is self-care going to help lower anxiety?

Self-care is a way to regulate your system. Self-care also is a way to put your needs first. By practicing self-care one becomes more mindful. Being mindful helps to lower stress and worry and practice being present, more grounded and centered. Practicing mindfulness can also help an individual turn inward and become quiet and still and to focus attention on what’s happening in the moment and less attention on the past or future. When one is able to practice being present we are able to support ourselves in the here and now. Self-care and mindfulness go hand and hand. Try some new self-care tools out today and begin to see your anxiety level come down.

To learn more about mindfulness, check out our page on mindfulness: https://clopanetherapy.com/mindfulness-therapy/

 

 

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella
21
Nov
2022

Tips on getting through the holidays when it feels like to much


 

So the holidays are coming up, how exciting?
But also stressful and to some not exciting at all.
The holidays can elicit a range of emotions for many, even weeks leading up.

Most importantly for holiday stress:

Honor your feelings and practice self-love, kindness, boundaries and patience with you self. This sounds simple but can be extremely hard.
Here we have come up with some helpful mantras to help lower holiday stress:
Use the ones you feel drawn to
I will practice kindness
I will be patient with myself, friends and family
I will practice healthy boundaries
I will say no when I need to
I will let go of my expectations specially the very high ones
I will remember the meaning of the holiday, release society standards
I will show love to myself and those around me
I will take it one moment at a time
If I need space if I need distance I will honor that
I will be kind to myself each second of the day
I give myself permission to slow down when I need it
I will practice mindfulness
I will practice self love
We are all connected in this universe
I miss love ones and I will honor that
I will practice gratitude
I will honor my budget
If I need a boundary between family and friends I will practice it
I will give myself the gift of kindness today
Also check out these awesome mantras for holidays stress from https://www.tiffanynapper.com/blog/15-holiday-mantras

WHEN YOU ARE OVERWHELMED:

1. I have control over how I feel, and I choose to feel at peace.

2. I give myself permission to let go of what no longer serves me.

3. It will get done.

 

WHEN YOU ARE LONELY:

4. I can make space for loneliness and practice being kind to myself.

5. We are all connected after all.

6. Loneliness will always pass.

 

WHEN MONEY IS TIGHT:

7. I will always have enough.

8. Gratitude awakens the good in my life.

9. I give and receive with grace.

 

WHEN YOUR FAMILY STRESSES YOU OUT:

10. I open my heart and accept others as they are.

11.  Stay present. Get grounded. I have nothing but love to give.

12. I choose uplifting encounters, and I have the power to remove myself from negative situations.

 

WHEN YOU ARE DOWN ON YOURSELF:

13.  I am deserving and worthy of all good things.

14.  I treat myself with love and respect.

15.  I give myself permission to prioritize the things that bring me joy, creativity, and connection.

 

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella
11
Aug
2022

Summer Vibes and Self-Esteem


 

So summer is here and you want to enjoy the summer, have great self-esteem, but also feel the pressure of looking and feeling great, don’t we all?

Let’s talk about some tips on how to really enjoy the summer through building your self-esteem.

So it’s time for the pool and the beach and your dreading getting out or purchasing a new bathing suit. I have a proposal for you. Close your eyes and envision what you want the bathing suit to look like on you, be realistic. Open your eyes and begin to slowly see that transition in the mirror. You will come to see that your ideal place and the way you look are different but perhaps not as different as you imagined.

Self-esteem growth and that bathing suit

So we all want to look and feel healthy but the pressure doesn’t help us. So what I encourage you to do is organically begin to take night walks. Mindfulness walks where you begin to truly take in the beauty of the summer. At the end of the walk I want you to thank your body for allowing you to go on this walk. Try to do this a couple times a week.

Self- love mantra

Start a new self-love mantra; one that incorporates the summer vibe you want to have this year. Every morning wake up with setting the intention to feel this vibe and attain it throughout the day. Summer love.

Surround yourself with love

Lastly what I want you to do is surround yourself with people that you can show up authentically around. People that see you for you and love you for that. There’s no easier and better way to be part of a tribe that real, raw and authentic, in fact it’s liberating.
Enjoy this summer my friends
Sending summer vibes your way

 

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella