mental health

When It’s Scary to Jump — That’s Exactly When You Jump: A Mental Health Call to Action

 

There is a strange moment — often quiet, sometimes sudden — when fear and possibility collide. It’s not loud. It doesn’t announce itself with fireworks. But it is undeniably real. It is the point where your heart thumps a little faster, your breath gets just a little shallower, and your mind whispers “what if?” louder than it whispers “you can do it.”

That moment — that tiny sliver of doubt and bravery — is exactly where transformation lives.

For many women, that moment comes not just once but countless times throughout life. It appears when you’re considering speaking your truth. When you want to say “no” but worry about how you’ll be perceived. When you carry wounds from old silence — wounds that show up as anxiety, depression, tension, or that persistent sense of being stuck. It shows up in relationships, in careers, in our inner dialogue. And so often, our first instinct is to freeze.

We choose comfort over courage. We circle around the question instead of facing it. We shrink our voice, and in doing so, we shrink our world.

But what if that moment of fear — that tightening in your chest — isn’t a warning to stop? What if it’s an invitation to begin?

Fear Is Not the Enemy — It’s the Threshold

Fear does not appear because we lack courage. Fear appears because something matters. When women are ready to step outside of old expectations — of silence, suppression, self-erasure — fear is the nervous system’s way of saying, this matters enough to shake you.

In mental health work, we understand that avoidance offers only temporary relief. Avoidance delays pain but deepens it over time. Genuine healing begins when we face what scares us and say:

“I see you. I acknowledge you. But I choose my life anyway.”

Reclaiming voice — your authentic voice — is one of the most transformative acts a woman can take. It is a radical act of self-respect. It is saying to yourself: I matter. My experience is real. I deserve to be heard. This is not flippant bravado. It is the culmination of unlearning years of silence. It is choosing self-trust over conformity and truth over avoidance.

And yes — it is scary. But the leap that feels terrifying is the leap that leads to growth.

What Happens When Women Take Their Voice Back

When women begin to speak with honesty and conviction, something powerful shifts — not just within them, but around them.

⭐ Old patterns lose their power. You no longer shrink at the first sign of discomfort. You begin to speak your needs, your boundaries, your hopes.

⭐ Relationships become clearer. People respond to clarity with clarity — not always comfortably, but always truthfully.

⭐ Mental health deepens. When you stop suppressing your inner life, you lighten the weight of anxiety and chronic stress. Choosing expression over concealment is healing.

⭐ Your story becomes strength. What once felt like vulnerability becomes wisdom. Your voice becomes a beacon — not just for you, but for others still learning to speak.

This kind of change doesn’t come from platitudes. It doesn’t come from suppressing fear. It comes from leaning into the jump, exactly when it feels scary.

Your Voice Is Not Lost — It Has Been Waiting

Sometimes we think the silence means the voice is gone. But that silence has not been empty — it has been preparing you. Your voice was never lost — it was waiting for the moment you decided that your life deserves full expression.

And that moment is now.

You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to be fearless. You just have to be willing to take that first brave breath and say something true.

When You Jump, You Lift Others Up

Here’s the most remarkable part:

When one woman speaks her truth, many women feel permission to do the same. One voice is not isolated — it is a spark in the dark. It invites others to stand, to breathe, to speak.

And that is why women taking their voice back is not just a personal victory — it’s a mental health revolution.

Stay Tuned — Big Things with New Day Vitality

To every woman who’s ever felt stuck, silenced, or afraid — you are not alone. You are part of a growing movement of women who are choosing courage, compassion, and truth.

And right now, New Day Vitality is entering a powerful new phase. We are building tools, conversations, and support that will meet you exactly where you are — whether you’re standing on the edge of your jump or halfway through it.

Stay tuned. Because what’s coming next is designed to help you not just find your voice… but use it to shape your life, your relationships, and your future.

When it feels scary — that is exactly when you jump.

And when you do — you will see how high you can soar.

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D

The Quiet Power of Prioritizing Your Mental Health

 

In a world that constantly demands more—more work, more productivity, more social engagement—it’s easy to let mental health slip to the bottom of the list. We often tell ourselves that taking care of our minds can wait, that life’s responsibilities come first. But mental health isn’t a luxury; it’s the foundation for everything else we do.

Stress, anxiety, and burnout are often dismissed as “normal” in today’s fast-paced life. Yet, these feelings signal that your mind and body are reaching their limits. Ignoring them can lead to chronic stress, physical health problems, and emotional exhaustion. The first step in maintaining mental health is recognizing that your feelings matter. Paying attention to your mental state is not indulgent—it’s essential.

One of the most effective ways to protect mental health is establishing small, consistent self-care routines. Self-care doesn’t have to be extravagant or time-consuming. It can be as simple as taking a short walk in the morning, practicing mindful breathing for five minutes, or journaling your thoughts and feelings. These intentional pauses create space to process emotions, reduce stress, and recharge mentally.

Another key aspect is learning to set boundaries. Saying “no” isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. Overcommitting to work, social obligations, or even family responsibilities can drain your mental energy and increase anxiety. Boundaries help you prioritize what truly matters and give you permission to care for yourself without guilt.

Mindset also plays a critical role in mental wellness. Practicing self-compassion—treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend—can reduce negative self-talk and build resilience. Life is inherently unpredictable, and setbacks are inevitable. Viewing challenges as opportunities for growth rather than failures can shift your perspective, reduce stress, and strengthen emotional resilience.

Connection is another pillar of mental health. Engaging with supportive friends, family, or communities provides validation and comfort. Humans are social beings, and sharing struggles or even everyday experiences fosters a sense of belonging. If in-person connection isn’t possible, online communities or support groups can also offer meaningful engagement and understanding.

Finally, professional support should never be overlooked. Therapy, counseling, or mental health coaching provides tools and strategies to navigate life’s challenges. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness—it’s a proactive step toward well-being. Mental health professionals can help you recognize patterns, develop coping strategies, and build long-term resilience.

Prioritizing mental health requires intentionality, patience, and honesty. It’s about recognizing when you need rest, support, or space to breathe. It’s about showing up for yourself in the same way you show up for others. Life will always have demands, but nurturing your mental well-being ensures you have the clarity, energy, and strength to meet them effectively.

Taking care of your mind isn’t a one-time event—it’s a daily practice. The quiet power of prioritizing mental health lies in its ripple effect: when you are mentally strong and balanced, you navigate life’s challenges with greater ease, connect more meaningfully with others, and live more fully. Your mental health deserves attention, care, and respect—because everything else in life flows from it.

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D

Breaking the Cycle of Self-Doubt: Reflection & Reset Worksheet

 

Breaking the Cycle of Self-Doubt: Reflection & Reset Worksheet

Self-doubt often shows up as second-guessing yourself, feeling “not enough,” or struggling to trust your own decisions. This worksheet helps you interrupt the cycle and build clarity, confidence, and emotional grounding.

1. Identify the Self-Doubt Story

Self-doubt usually has a repeated message.

Common examples:

  • “I always mess things up.”
  • “I’m not as good as others.”
  • “People will judge me.”
  • “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Prompt:

What is the recurring self-doubt story that shows up for me?

Write it here:

2. Notice When It Gets Triggered

Self-doubt doesn’t appear randomly — it has patterns.

Triggers may include:

  • Starting something new
  • Receiving criticism
  • Making decisions
  • Comparing yourself to others
  • Feeling overwhelmed

Prompt:

What situations trigger my self-doubt the most?

3. Challenge the Inner Critic

Your inner critic speaks loud, but often without facts.

Use these reframes:

  • Replace “What if I fail?” with “What if I learn?”
  • Replace “I’m not good enough.” with “I’m growing and improving.”
  • Replace “I can’t do this.” with “I can take it step by step.”

Prompt:

What’s a more grounded, realistic version of the story I tell myself?

4. Gather Your Evidence

Your self-doubt overlooks your strengths.

List moments where you:

  • Handled something difficult
  • Showed strength
  • Succeeded
  • Helped someone
  • Overcame fear

Prompt:

What evidence do I have that contradicts my self-doubt?

5. Create a Grounding Statement

This becomes your reset phrase when doubt appears.

Examples:

  • “I can handle this.”
  • “I’m capable and learning.”
  • “I’ve succeeded before — I will again.”
  • “I don’t need to be perfect to move forward.”

Prompt:

What grounding statement will I use when self-doubt shows up?

6. Take a Small Action (Confidence Comes From Doing)

The antidote to doubt is movement, not perfection.

Possible micro-steps:

  • Send the email
  • Ask the question
  • Apply for the opportunity
  • Express a boundary
  • Start the task for 5 minutes

Prompt:

What is one small action I can take today to break the cycle?

7. Practice Self-Compassion

Self-doubt softens when you treat yourself with kindness instead of criticism.

Try:

  • Speaking to yourself the way you’d speak to a friend
  • Saying: “It’s okay to be learning.”
  • Allowing mistakes as part of growth

Prompt:

If I were supporting a friend through this, what would I say to them?

8. Reflection Questions

  • What did I learn about myself today?
  • Which part of the self-doubt cycle is the hardest for me?
  • What helps me feel grounded and confident?
  • What support do I need moving forward?
Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D

Boundaries as Your Boundaries

 

There comes a moment in every person’s life when they realize this truth:

You cannot keep abandoning yourself to keep the peace.

It shows up quietly at first. A little resentment. A subtle exhaustion. A nagging sense that you’re carrying emotional weight that isn’t yours. And then one day—it hits you. You’ve been giving away your energy, your time, your capacity, your power… and getting very little back.

Boundaries aren’t walls. They aren’t punishments. They aren’t ultimatums.

They’re a sacred act of returning to yourself.

And when you finally learn how to set them?

It feels like magic. Raw, grounded, life-changing magic.

Let’s talk about what it looks like to protect yourself with intention—and how that becomes one of the greatest superpowers you’ll ever own.

The Real Reason Boundaries Feel Hard

People don’t struggle with boundaries because they’re weak.

They struggle because they were taught that being “good” meant:

  • being agreeable
  • being easy
  • being available
  • being selfless
  • being quiet
  • being whatever someone needed you to be

Some of us were raised to believe that saying “no” is rude, that having needs is inconvenient, or that emotional discomfort is dangerous.

So when you start to build boundaries as an adult, it feels like you’re betraying someone.

But here’s the truth:

The only person you betray when you avoid boundaries is yourself.

And your body knows it.

Your body remembers every time you’ve said yes when you wanted to say no.

Your nervous system remembers the resentment.

Your spirit remembers the self-betrayal.

Boundaries are the antidote.

Protecting Yourself Is Not Selfish—It’s Self-Respect

There is nothing more powerful than deciding that your peace, your mental health, your energy, and your time matter.

Protecting yourself:

  • keeps you from burning out
  • creates healthier relationships
  • builds confidence
  • allows your body to regulate
  • makes room for joy instead of obligation

It’s not selfish to protect what’s sacred.

It’s not unkind to protect your mental health.

It’s not wrong to choose yourself.

In fact, it’s one of the most loving things you can do—for you and the people you care about.

Because when you stop saying yes at your own expense, your “yes” becomes honest again.

Your Boundaries Are a Love Letter to Yourself

Think of boundaries as a message you send to the world, but also to your own nervous system:

  • “I deserve safety.”
  • “My voice matters.”
  • “My time is valuable.”
  • “I don’t have to carry everything.”
  • “I can walk away from what hurts me.”
  • “I can choose what I allow in my life.”

This isn’t weakness.

This is identity.

This is alignment.

This is you coming back to yourself.

Boundaries are where self-respect and mental health breathe.

Tools to Turn Boundaries Into Your Superpower

1. The “Body Before Words” Method

Before responding to anything—requests, invitations, demands—pause and check in:

  • Does your chest tighten?
  • Does your stomach clench?
  • Does your jaw tense?
  • Do you feel pressure instead of choice?

Your body speaks before your brain rationalizes.

Honor the body first.

2. The 72-Hour Rule

If you feel obligated or unsure, say:

“Let me think about that and get back to you.”

This gives your nervous system time to regulate so you’re choosing authentically—not reactively.

3. The Boundary Formula

Use this simple structure:

“I’m not available for ____. I can do ___ instead.”

Examples:

  • “I can’t talk about this right now. I’m available later tonight.”
  • “I’m not able to host this year. I can help plan the menu, though.”
  • “I’m not comfortable with that conversation. Let’s shift topics.”

Short. Clear. Zero guilt.

4. Silent Boundaries Count Too

Not every boundary is spoken. Some are lived.

Examples:

  • Leaving a conversation that turns toxic
  • Spending less time with draining people
  • Not responding immediately
  • Choosing who gets access to you

You don’t owe everyone an explanation.

5. “Micro-Recovery” After Boundary Work

Setting boundaries—especially if you’re not used to it—can feel emotionally heavy.

Give yourself a short recovery ritual:

  • Put hand on heart
  • Take three deep breaths
  • Say, “I chose myself.”
  • Do something nurturing (tea, music, stepping outside, journaling)

You’re teaching your nervous system that protecting yourself is safe.

The Magic Happens When You Stay Consistent

Boundaries change your life not when you set them once, but when you uphold them consistently. And yes—you’ll disappoint people. You’ll disrupt patterns. You’ll break cycles. But you’ll also reclaim parts of yourself that you lost long ago.

That’s the magic.

Not perfection.

Not toughness.

Not saying “no” without fear.

But choosing yourself—even when your voice shakes.

That’s your superpower.

And it’s already inside you, waiting to be used.

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D

When Your In-Laws Aren’t Kind: Protecting Your Mental Health in a Messy Reality

Family is supposed to feel like a safe place—supportive, warm, welcoming. But for many people, the “family” they marry into feels nothing like that. Instead, they’re met with coldness, criticism, passive-aggressive comments, or outright hostility. And while we rarely talk about it out loud, dealing with unkind in-laws can deeply impact your mental health.

If you’ve ever left a family gathering feeling small, dismissed, anxious, or emotionally drained, you’re not alone. In fact, difficult in-law dynamics are one of the most common stressors couples face. But just because it’s common doesn’t mean it’s easy.

Let’s talk honestly about what this experience does to you—and the tools you can use to protect your well-being.

The Emotional Toll We Don’t Admit Out Loud

Many people try to brush it off: “It’s not a big deal.”

“They’re family… what can you do?”

“It’s just how they are.”

But unkind in-laws can create a lasting emotional impact:

1. Self-doubt and second-guessing your worth

When someone repeatedly criticizes you, talks down to you, or treats you like an outsider, it can chip away at your confidence—even if you’re normally grounded and self-assured.

2. Anxiety before family events

Your body learns the pattern: gatherings = tension. Even just the idea of being around them can activate stress responses.

3. Strain within your marriage or partnership

Partners often feel stuck in the middle, guilty, or defensive. If communication isn’t strong, resentment builds.

4. Feeling unsupported or unseen

It’s incredibly painful when your partner’s family refuses to make space for who you are. That pain deserves to be acknowledged.

You’re Not “Too Sensitive.” This Is Real.

One of the most damaging messages people receive is that they’re “overreacting.” But unkindness—especially in subtle forms like sarcasm, exclusion, or judgment—hits the nervous system hard.

Your body isn’t imagining it.

Your mind isn’t making it up.

You’re responding to a real emotional threat.

The good news? You can reclaim your power, protect your peace, and create boundaries that allow you to stay connected to your partner without sacrificing your mental well-being.

Mental Health Tools for Navigating Difficult In-Laws

1. Ground Yourself Before Interactions

If you know you’re walking into a triggering space, enter with intention.

Try a 30-second grounding ritual:

  • Feel your feet on the floor.
  • Take one slow breath in and out.
  • Remind yourself: “Their behavior is about them, not me.”

This simple reset places you back in your own body and out of their emotional orbit.

2. Use the “Grey Rock” Technique for Toxic Behaviors

If certain in-laws thrive on drama, judgment, or conflict, becoming emotionally neutral can protect you.

Being a “grey rock” means:

  • Staying calm
  • Responding briefly
  • Not offering emotional reactions

This doesn’t mean being cold—it means choosing not to engage in dynamics that drain you.

3. Set Boundaries Without Apologizing

A boundary is not a punishment. It’s protection.

Examples:

  • “We’ll stay for two hours, not the entire day.”
  • “I’m not comfortable being spoken to that way. I’m stepping outside for a moment.”
  • “We’re choosing what’s best for our family. Thank you for understanding.”

Notice none of these require justification or over-explanation.

4. Have Honest, Compassionate Communication with Your Partner

Your partner can’t support you if they don’t understand what’s happening. Aim for a conversation rooted in feelings—not blame.

Use this structure:

  • What happened: “When your mother said…”
  • How it affected you: “I felt dismissed.”
  • What you need: “It would help if you checked in with me during those moments.”

Healthy couples problem-solve together, not against each other.

5. Create Post-Visit Recovery Rituals

Just like athletes cool down after a workout, you deserve a mental cooldown after stressful family interactions:

  • Take a walk
  • Journal
  • Debrief with your partner
  • Listen to calming music
  • Do something nurturing for yourself

Your system needs a chance to unwind.

6. Give Yourself Permission to Limit Contact

You are under no emotional obligation to repeatedly expose yourself to hostile or disrespectful behavior. Limiting time, frequency, or depth of interactions is a valid form of self-care.

Distance is not failure.

Distance is clarity.

You’re Allowed to Protect Your Peace

You don’t have to win them over. You don’t have to tolerate disrespect in the name of “family.” You don’t have to keep sacrificing your mental health to make others comfortable.

You are allowed to take up space, speak your truth, and set boundaries that support your emotional well-being.

And if your in-laws can’t offer kindness, then offer it to yourself. That’s where real healing begins.

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D