mental health

You’re Not Really Into Him


 

When dating someone, you can be pretty sure if he is into you or not, right? All those big and small signs of someone’s affection are hard to miss. Or the lack of those signs – you simply know when someone is not investing in your relationship as much as you have expected. But, can you as easily recognize whether or not you are into him? Check out the signs below to help you decide.

1. You are not “dying” to See Him

At first, you were super excited to see your boyfriend. You would get all fidgety before thedate, and couldn’t wait to spend the evening with him. However, thereare nobutterflies in your stomach when you are with him anymore. Your enthusiasm somehow vanished already and now you’re neutral when he asks youon a date. A sure sign that you’re not really into him.

2. You are Making Plans without Him

You’ve made an exciting plan to visit Europe next summer. You already have an itinerary, all those exciting places you are going to visit and the things you plan to do…You can’t wait tostart packing your bags! You simply know you and your best friend will have a vacay of a lifetime.

Ups… your best friend? Let’s be honest… a lack of desire to do things together doesn’t look promising- making plans without your boyfriend obviously means that you’re not really into him. In addition, if you catch yourself daydreaming about freedom and singleness, you should seriously consider breaking up with your boyfriend and give yourself some time on your own.

3. You don’t like Being Alone with Him Anymore

You might have been inseparable at the very beginning of your relationship. Yet, these days you find the company of your friends much more enjoyable. Even the time spent alone seems more appealing. If you look forward to nights out with your friends more than your dates with him, this might be a sure sign that it is time to move on.

4. You Lose Your Temper Easily

It is totally normal to argue with your partner. Everyone fights from time to time. However, if your arguments happen daily and you find that you cannot have a conversation without raging at your boyfriend, it may be time to think about your feelings and the real issues behind those everyday fights that you are most likely avoiding to address.

5. You have Other Priorities

Do you rather choose to stay at home and watch a movie than go out with your boyfriend? You often stay at your office longer than you actually need and then excuse yourself that you are too tired to see him? When you start choosing your friends, family, or work over your partner, ask yourself if you’re really into him. If he is not an important part of your life, why bother?

6. You Think You Can Do Better Than Him

You don’t approve of his choice of friends, don’t respect his career, or you don’t like his family? Do you constantly have a feeling that you can do better? Cause if you do, save yourself the trouble and consider moving on with your life.

7. You no Longer have Sexual Desire

There is a lack of passion and interest in sex with your partner. You simply don’t feel sexual towards him anymore. At the same time, you catch yourself fantasizing about your colleague… Not a good sign. And definitely, a red flag that you don’t want to be with your boyfriend anymore.

8. You Don’t Miss Him

When he is not around, you hardly think about your boyfriend. Moreover, you can go days without seeing him and be just fine about that. Not missing your boyfriend after days or weeks without seeing him is a sure sign that you are just not feeling him.

9. You have no Respect for Him

Being in love is an awesome feeling. Passion, desire, great sex…all of it counts. However, respect is vital for a good, fulfilling relationship. A relationship without respect never lasts long, no matter how attracted to him you might feel. When partners don’t respect each other, they are not open about their feelings and they don’t care what the other side wants, needs, or feels. Not promising. If you don’t think highly of your boyfriend or he embarrasses you, you obviously don’t like him as much as you thought.

10. You are Hesitant about Your Relationship’s Future

You are just not sure whether he is right for you or not. You are terrified even thinking of meeting his family and can’t help thinking that your relationship is progressing a bit too fast. If you don’t feel like nurturing your relationship and putting any effort to strengthen your bond, you need to admit it – you’re not really into him.

 

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D

Animals and How They Can Improve Mental Health


 

Animals And Mental Health

Animals have been shown to improve your mental health. Here is tons of ways how animals/pets can help your mind, body and spirit.

Petting reduces stress; rhythmic petting can be comforting to your pet as well as you. It’s proven that when you connect to your pet, oxytocin the hormone related to stress and anxiety is released, and in hand helping to reduce blood pressure and lower cortisol levels.

Animals distract you but also can help you be present, the best of both worlds. Being present and engaged with your pet, helps to keep you in the moment and focus on mindfulness and grounding, slowing down the racing thoughts that may be causing you stress and or anxiety and enjoying your time with your little fur buddy.

Animals are great listeners. Sometimes when we are feeling stuck or vulnerable it helps to get those feelings out, and who else is a better listener than your pet? A dog or cat is the perfect outlet to vent to when you need without any potential repercussions.

Animals love unconditionally. Seeing your pet’s enthusiasm when they see you fills your heart and soul. A pet’s love is unconditional and the love they show can brighten any day.

Animals get you outside, especially dogs. Dogs get you out and moving, and staying active, being out doors has shown to correlate with lower stress and anxiety levels.

Finally, they make you smile. When your pet does cute things how can you not smile? Whether your pet is rolling on their back or giving you a kiss, it makes you smile and triggers neurotransmitters to fire. These pet time smiles can raise your serotonin and dopamine levels, which are nerve transmitters associated with calmness and happiness.

So go have a great time with your pet and have fun, and if you don’t have a pet volunteering at a nearby shelter can benefit the animals from your love and benefit you from their love.

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D

Happiness


How to be happy?

Some days we may feel down, out of it, and maybe even exhausted. However, all we really want out of this life is to be happy, right? So how can we be happy? Simple things can increase happiness in your life.

  • Exercise is one way to increase our happiness
  • Spend more time with the ones you love and that make you smile can increase you happiness
  • Give back or pay it forward can also increase the level of happiness
  • Mediate, practice mindfulness and ground yourself can increase you awareness, slow life down and increase happiness
  • Set a goal and achieve it, feeling good about achieving a special goal can improve your level of happiness

Every day we wake up we have a choice, to be or not to be happy, so start today, choose happiness and practice simple ways to increase it.

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D