Bronx

16
Feb
2022

Why So Many People are Not Merry and Bright Around the Holidays & it’s ok


Expectations, finances and sadness are high around the holidays for many and yet such a large group of people going through these emotions feel outcasted and misunderstood, making them feel more alone and disconnected. Let’s go through each aspect of turbulence that people may feel during the holidays.

Expectations: we are expected to be jolly, merry, bright and cheerful when truth be told we may hate our job, may be suffering from depression or still struggling to develop a self-love relationship with ourselves. December will not take away any struggles we have been dealing with for the other 11 months of the year and it is foolish to think otherwise. How are we expected to give so much to others at this time when we have not yet adequately discovered how to give to ourselves? Society is expecting our whole mindset to change in a snap and it is just not possible.

Finances: without being said, so much money is spent during this time, which first and foremost is bitter as it takes away from the point of the season: togetherness, love and appreciation. We chuck out big cash for emotional reward. Coming back to expectations, we spend all this money and put in so much effort to get someone a gift and we are returned with a simple” thank you” (or better yet to discover they returned it) …the emotional reward does not pair up to our mental effort, making us feel the effort was pointless and disappointing.

Sadness: accompanied by grief is common during the holidays. We reflect back on our childhood and are haunted by the fact that many of our loved ones are no longer here, making a time that was once special for us feel lonely and emotional. It may be difficult for us to appreciate the family and friends we do currently have in our life because we are a little extra focused on those who we no longer have at this time.

In case no one has told you: all these feelings and the 100 others you may be feeling right now are okay. I will repeat: these feelings you have are okay. Put a label and a name to your emotion, notice where it is rooted from. Rather than keep these thoughts to yourself, talk about these negative emotions because THAT is what will make you feel more connected to others at this time. You may assume the person on the other end will not “get” you, but you are likely to be surprised that they have similar feelings and having the conversation will draw you closer and more at peace: which is exactly what the holidays are meant to do for relationships to start with.

If you or a love one is having a difficult time around the holidays reach out to our staff today, we are honored to be apart of your journey. Psychotherapy and Counseling serving Westchester NY

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella
16
Feb
2022

You Are Not Broken


 

 

A black and white image of the word justice.

This âš›ï¸Â¸ this message if your reading is meant for you right now. Seriously meant for you. I wrote this many years back and so often share with my clients and every single time it’s a profound reaction, crying, smiling or both and many other powerful feelings. It’s shown to be a powerful message that so many need to hear over and over. My feeling is that so many need this message right now. This is my gift to you my friend, I see you, hold space for you, you are not broken, I believe in you my friend and always will.

 

 

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella
16
Feb
2022

3 Ways to De-Stress in Ten Minutes


A black and white image of the word justice.

The “Five Senses” Mindfulness Exercise

This exercise is very popular in the therapy world to reduce stress and great tool to use in order to shift your mind away from the internal thoughts that are going a mile per minute. This exercise will allow you to slow down, notice things outside your thoughts and sure enough you will feel more at ease and your attention will be gravitated to other stimuli.

Here are the steps to do the exercise:

  1. First you will notice 5 things you can see. What is surrounding you in your environment? Cars passing by? Birds on the trees? Cookies on the kitchen counter ? Take note of five of the these things that are in your sight
  2. Next you will note to self 4 things you can feel. Draw your awareness to how your body feel on the couch your sitting on or the feel of the silk blouse you are wearing. What textures are you currently feeling. Take notice there.
  3. Now you will shift your attention to 3 things you can hear. Can you hear the conversations of others around you? The sound of your family member blow-drying their hair? The sound of passing traffic out the window? See how far you can extend your senses and how far you can hear past the room you are in.
  4. The fourth step is noticing 2 things you can smell. What scents are around you? Is there a candle burning ? Something baking in the kitchen ? Can you smell the laundered sheets around you ?
  5. Finally, you will notice 1 thing you can taste. Perhaps this is the sip of a drink you just went for or a mint you just had. What is the current taste in your mouth ?

The Self- Massage Exercise to De-Stress

No matter where you are or how little time you have you can easily throw in a self-massage as a tool to debrief from current stressors. Self-Massage is also a nice form of self-care and giving back to yourself. One of my favorite ways to self-massage is using a jade roller and using upward motions of the roller on my chin, forehead and cheeks. If I am not at home and do not have a jade roller available I will administer self-massage with my hands. I will put pressure on my shoulders and move my hands in upward motions in my face similarly to how I would with the roller. Always resort to YouTube for new ideas and techniques to provide self-massage.

Three Part Breathing Exercise

A personal favorite breathing exercise of mine is the three part breath. This exercise is a breath control technique commonly used in yoga but can be used off the mat as well to reduce stress.

Start off by placing your left hand in your upper chest and your right hand on your belly-button. Now, you will begin to sip in breath to your navel (1) , then sip a little more air into your belly (2), then a third sip of breath into your chest (3). Exhale a sip of breath from the chest (1) then another exhale from the belly (2) and a complete, extended exhale from the navel (3). Repeat this breath-work a few rounds until you feel at ease.

 

https://youtu.be/IwVedZlYDNA

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella
16
Feb
2022

Living with feelings of uncertainty during changing times


The year 2020 has shed light to so many issues, good and bad. If you’re anything like me, this year has been filled will feelings of fear, anxiety, unrest, and most of all uncertainty. Between a global pandemic turning our world upside down in only a few months, social unrest due to the blatant injustices of Black, indigenous, and people of color, and the large divide amongst Americans as the election becomes closer and closer, we’re left to navigate the uncertainties that our nation, communities, and families face today and for our future.

It almost feels inevitable that we have experienced and will continue to experience stress this year. We’ve been living in fear of getting sick or having a loved one get sick. Some of us have lost our jobs, homes, savings accounts, and worst of all losing a loved one to COVID19. BIPOC communities face a continued fear of merely existing, as police brutality and systemic oppression literally kill them through violence or through the disproportionate disparities in health care, which are known factors contributing to the higher morbidity and mortality among people of color, as compared to white Americans. Most of us fear what the next president elect will mean for our basic human rights, the rights of our families, and our future children and generation to come. This is an extraordinarily amount of stress to contend with while still having to move along each day to be able to survive and provide for ourselves and our families.

Exorbitant amounts of chronic stress are known to have serious implications on the mind and body. Some of these effects include irritability, anxiety, depression, headaches, insomnia, high blood pressure, gastrointestinal issues, lowered immune system functioning, and other physical issues. Chronic stress is also known to lead to an increase in the likelihood of the development of a mental illness, problems concentrating and decision making, memory and poor judgment.

These uncertain times are bound to leave us feeling anxious and stressed. If you recall earlier in the blog, I stated that 2020 has brought bad and good, and you’re probably wondering…where is the good? Well believe it or not, good can and will come from this! Let’s first talk acknowledge that the anxious/fearful mind overestimates the risk, threat or danger and underestimates the ability to use coping resources. I can’t confidently say that the current state of our world is without real threat or dangers (because it is with real threat and dangers), but I can provide coping resources to help you navigate this time of uncertainty.

As humans, we crave security, consistency, and predictability. When we are paralyzed with uncertainty, our minds love to conjure up worst case scenarios and countless predictions so we feel prepared if the worst was to come. If you feel overwhelmed by uncertainty and worry, it’s important to know that you’re not alone; many of us are going through the same thing in real time. It’s also important to understand that no matter how helpless you feel, there are steps you can take better manage these circumstances, alleviate your anxiety, and face the unknown with resilience.

1. Act on what you can control.

a. Most of our life is and feels uncertain and uncontrollable, however re-focusing your efforts on things within your control will help you problem-solve. Sometimes, the only thing we can control is our attitude and response to uncontrollable situations, and even that is worth looking into if you find yourself struggling to find things you can control.

2. Openly feel, acknowledge, and experience your emotions

a. Suppressing/avoiding/distracting your emotions is a short-term solution to problems that will manifest themselves in other ways if not managed today. Find a safe space, a friend, a therapist, anyone who can provide you with an environment to process your feelings safely. Allowing yourself to become comfortable with the idea of uncertainty will indirectly reduce your feelings of stress and anxiety.

3. Challenge your automatic thought processes that tell you life needs to be certain in order for it to be manageable.

a. How much can any of us be absolute certain about life? Unfortunately, nothing in life is guaranteed, perfectly calculated, or predictable. When you find yourself having the feeling or thought that you “need to know” something, ask yourself how possible it is to really know? Try and re-focus on more realistic thought processes. Something you can tell yourself when you have a thought like that is “No matter how much I try to plan out every situation and outcome, life can surprise me. All reaching for certainty really does is feed my worry and anxiety.”

4. Identify the specific situations of uncertainty that give you the most distress, and practice acceptance.

a. Start recognizing your thought patterns, emotions, or bodily sensations you experience when the sense of uncertainty creeps in. Notice what particular situations bring about those thoughts/feelings/sensations. Name what you’re experiencing i.e. “This is anxiety over uncertainty” and try to observe the experience nonjudgmentally. Research shows mindfulness and acceptance practices reduce unpleasant experiences, as the more you allow them, the more you realize the feelings will pass. This will provide you comfort when another situation involving uncertainty arises.

5. Practice Mindfulness

a. Mindfulness stresses the importance of being present in the here and how. With all this fear of uncertainty, most of us are glued to our devices, reading countless news articles, stories, debates, etc.”… We are losing time being present in the moment.”. There are many techniques online to practice mindfulness. You can also practice mindfulness techniques with a therapist if you find you are unable to do it on your own. One quick tip is to stay away from technology. Take 20-30-60-minute breaks from any technology and focus on anything in the here and now, even if its your pet, children, your family, or doing a chore like washing the dishes. You can use any of your 5 senses to help you engage in something in the present. For example, lighting a candle and focusing on the scent, or washing the dishes and focusing on the soapy bubbles on your hands. Don’t worry if you find that your focus keeps wandering back to your future fears and worries. It’s a skill, and like any other skill, it takes practice to master.

6. Managing Stress/Anxiety

a. There are many practical tips I can give to manage everyday stressors and anxiety that pile on in addition to the uncertainties of this year. For starters, movement is a huge tool in alleviating anxiety, do any sort of movement, running, dancing, yoga. Expelling that energy will relieve you of anxiety and release feel good endorphins. Give yourself time to relax. Take time for YOU. Try and get a regular sleep schedule with quality sleep, and lastly, try and up your nutrition game. All of these baseline changes will dramatically improve your ability to tackle the stress and anxieties of today.

The last “good” that I can say that has come out of this year, is the extent that therapy has become accessible to all. As a therapist, this warms my heart. I’ve never seen so many people open to the therapeutic process, willing to work on themselves to become better humans. You don’t have to go through this alone! Many of us find comfort sitting with uncertainty in a safe environment with someone we trust. You can remain in the comfort of your own home and talk through some of the emotions and experiences you are going through.

Here at New Day Vitality we care about your health and well-being. We’re currently offering online therapy through a HIPAA compliant video sources throughout the state of New York for stay at home services.

You don’t have to sit with uncertainty alone. Take-action on what you can control out of this situation. And what you can control, is learning how to respond to uncertainty with confidence that you will survive this and surpass this! Please reach out to us if you are finding that this time of uncertainty is difficult for you. We would love to support you on your journey through uncertainty and into resilience!

We are your anxiety experts of Westchester NY. Servicing the surround areas, Larchmont, Mamaroneck, New Rochelle, Scarsdale, Eastchester, Rye Brook, Rye, etc. and all of New York State for over ten years.

 

 

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella
16
Feb
2022

Coronavirus and Ways to Lower Stress, Fear, and Anxiety Surrounding It


 

The world has never seemed to be a smaller place. In these days of uncertainty when the ongoing coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic affects an increasing number of people worldwide, each of us is at risk. People are confused, concerned, and terrified.

No one is protected against COVID-19. From celebrities, athletes, politicians, to those close to our home and our hearts, our families, neighbors, friends and colleagues, no one is immune to coronavirus regardless of their age, race, gender, or socioeconomic status. Schools and borders are getting closed, flights canceled, people isolated.

The outbreak of coronavirus (COVID-19) has affected almost all parts of the world and our society. The most affected countries and cities have undergone severe lifestyle changes with the people’s basic civil rights put on hold while the outbreak lasts.

The worst thing about this whole situation seems to be uncertainty that surrounds coronavirus pandemic. However, in situations of crisis like this one, it is natural to feel concerned, stressed, and afraid. It is normal to experience anxiety. In fact, whatever you are feeling right now, it’s a normal response to a crisis.

The Role of Anxiety

In situations of emergency and crisis, anxiety occurs as a natural response to stress and threat. When we feel exposed, the amygdala in our brain activates “flight or fight” response. The main purpose of this cognitive-physiological-emotional response is to protect us and help us adapt. So, being a little bit more concerned is useful because it keeps you cautious. It motivates you to be responsible and to take measures to protect yourself and the people around you.

Nevertheless, excessive worry and fear can destabilize you and weaken constructive responses to stress, impair quality of life, and damage your health.

People who already struggle with some form of generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) are particularly at risk of experiencing coronavirus stress and anxiety.

What Is Coronavirus and Why Is It So Scary?

Coronaviruses are not new to mankind. This is a large family of viruses that cause a variety of illnesses (from ordinary cold to Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome). However, coronavirus disease (COVID-19) is a new type that was discovered in late 2019 and has not been identified in humans ever before.

Common Signs of COVID-19

Common signs of coronavirus infection include:

  • Fever
  • Cough
  • Shortness of breath
  • Respiratory symptoms

In more severe cases, the infection can cause:

  • Difficulty breathing
  • Pneumonia
  • Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS)
  • Kidney failure
  • Death

If you develop any of these signs, seek medical attention.

How to Prevent Infection?

To prevent infection spread, it is recommended that you regularly wash your hands with warm water and soap, use hand sanitizers, cover your mouth and nose when coughing and sneezing, limit social contacts, and particularly close contact with anyone showing signs of respiratory infections (sneezing and coughing).

How to Cope with Coronavirus Stress and Anxiety

Here are some useful strategies to help you cope with stress and anxiety triggered by the coronavirus outbreak.

1. Set the Information Boundaries

How many hours daily do you spend listening, reading, or watching the news related to the coronavirus outbreak? While it is important to keep informed, many of us are becoming overwhelmed by the news on TV, in newspapers, and on social media. Ask yourself do you really need all the information presented? Limit your media exposure and select the time of the day when you are going to put your phone away, turn off the computer and TV. Get yourself familiar with the trusted sources of information that you can turn to in your community.

We like to be in control of our lives. Planning your day-to-day life in these times of uncertainty will provide a sense of control and therefore alleviate stress and anxiety. Make arrangements at work, such as an option to work from home, keep social distance as much as possible, and have a back-up for school closings.

2.  Practice Relaxation and Mindfulness Meditation

The benefits of relaxation and meditation are myriad. There are many techniques such as deep breathing, yoga, or meditation that can help you relax. Some day-to-day habits can also make you feel calm and happy, such as reading a good book, nature walks, or talking with friends or family; these small everyday rituals may be very helpful.

Both science and practice have proven many benefits of meditation in dealing with stress and anxiety. Mindful meditation can help you ease anxiety symptoms by helping you to stay focused, become aware of your thoughts and feelings, and overcome negative thoughts. Also, mindfulness exercise can boost your self-esteem, increase optimism, and improve resilience.

Studies show that mindfulness exercise can reduce the activity in the amygdala. This is a cluster of neurons in the limbic system of the brain that plays a key role in processing emotions. In other words, the amygdala is a starting point for your anxiety reaction. Reducing the amygdala’s activity, mindfulness practice reduces your background level of stress and anxiety.

So, instead of avoiding experiencing anxiety, focus on your anxious thoughts and feelings and observe them for some time. Then, acknowledge that these are nothing more than thoughts and feelings, and simply let them go.

3. Keep Self-Care a Priority

During times of crisis and uncertainty, healthy lifestyles and self-care should become your priority.

It is no secret that well-rested individuals have a stronger immune system and are better equipped for defeating viruses. Also, research shows a Mediterranean-style diet rich in fish, fruits, vegetables, and whole grains can help ease symptoms of anxiety.

Finally, studies show that exercise can protect you against symptoms of stress and anxiety and help promote feelings of happiness and wellbeing.

4. Spend Time in Nature

In some parts of our country such as New Rochelle, New York as well as many European countries, the state of emergency is declared and citizens are strongly advised or ordered to stay indoors. People are cut off from their lives, friends, and extended families. They spend time in their backyards, terraces, and balconies. If you can, spend time outdoors. Connecting with nature helps us relax and lessens symptoms of anxiety and depression. Whether it’s taking your kids to the park or doing some gardening in your backyard, spending time in nature is a great way to be active, stay away from viruses, and reduce feelings of anxiety.

5. Seek Mental Health Counseling

Online counseling is a great option for those who cannot leave their homes due to coronavirus outbreak. Seek counseling if you feel that your coping mechanism is not strong enough to manage coronavirus anxiety on your own.

We are all in this together. Help and support are available.

https://nyprojecthope.org/?utm_medium=G1Search&utm_source=Google&utm_campaign=OMHProjectHOPERSPGrant

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella