anxiety

08
Jun
2022

How to Keep Your Cool When Feeling Triggered?


 

How to keep your cool when feeling triggered by another person?

Fight, flight, and freeze during anger

So we have all been there, anger is an emotion everyone experiences. Here’s an interesting fact, anger is a secondary emotion, and the primary emotion is typically something more similar to sadness, disappointment. Then why do we experience it? Its because anger is a more tangible easier response then the primary emotion. Particularly when we feel triggered by another person, perhaps even a loved one. It may elicit feelings of vulnerability, exposure and even trapped. Lets talk about some ways to cool down when feeling triggered by another person.

 

Feeling angry, don’t want to say anything I may regret

So you feel triggered, upset, seeing red, may say something to a love one you might regret. How do you slow it down? First, if your able to walk away, take a moment to yourself it can literally be the most helpful couple of minutes. Simply excuse yourself from the environment or situation to give your mind and body the opportunity to calm down and regulate. When you feel ready you can return to the conversation and environment.

 

Visualization for anger

Visualization can be very helpful to calm down. Close your eyes and envision yourself in your favorite place, stay there for a couple minutes until you feel ready to return to the conversation. Try this visualization exercise out, https://youtu.be/G1bxxiiXc48

 

The count down for anger

Counting from 1-10 is an easy way to separate yourself mentally in a heighten situation. It’s simple yet very regulating.

 

Talk to a friend

Sometimes reaching out to a trustful, safe love one to talk about your experience can help calm heighten emotions, you also can gain support.

 

Slow down and focus on you breathe, become mindful

Lastly, breathing exercises can help regulate your system when feeling triggered. Take a couple minutes to slow down your breathing, focus on your breathe and re- regulate.

 

Talk to your therapist

Therapy is a great way to learn how to manage and regulate your emotions when you’ve been triggered or even before you’ve been triggered by another person.

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D
28
Apr
2022

How to Feel Less Anxious About The Future, Relationships And Finances


 

Are you feeling anxious or worried about your future, a relationship or finances? Is it keeping you up at night? Or is it affecting you every day life, your interpersonal relationships?

You’re not alone; one of the major worries in individual’s lives involves one of these aspects in many instances. Here in this blog let’s discuss some ways to support and lower your stress level.

 

Mindfulness to Reduce Anxiety

Mindfulness is one way for someone to lower stress levels. Mindfulness shifts perspective to what is going on in the current moment and less emphasis in the past or to the future. By becoming more present one is able to slow down racing thoughts and soften anxiety.

Mindfulness reduces stress as well as builds resilience with our responses to stressors. Check out Colette’s podcast on apple podcast today to try out some mindfulness mediations, newdayvitalitytherapy.com. Start somewhere, start here, and start today.

 

You Have the Ability to Be Empowered and Happy

You have the capability to feel less anxious and be empowered as well as happy by starting to ask yourself the question, what do I need? What can I give myself today? By practicing self- compassion and self- awareness we begin to seek our internal needs and in hand empower ourselves to live happier more fulfilled lives.

I encourage beginning to ask your self the magic question each day, what do I need today? And throughout the day checking in on how you can fulfill that need.

 

How Therapy Can Help You Feel Less Anxious, Calm and In Control

Therapy can help lower stress levels and put you back in the drivers seat, in control. Therapists are trained on ways to help build clients toolbox of support and resources to feel more regulated, grounded and centered.

If you or someone you know is suffering from anxiety reach out to our team today, we are honored to support you and be apart of your journey, newdayvitalitytherapy.com.

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D
16
Feb
2022

Why So Many People are Not Merry and Bright Around the Holidays & it’s ok


Expectations, finances and sadness are high around the holidays for many and yet such a large group of people going through these emotions feel outcasted and misunderstood, making them feel more alone and disconnected. Let’s go through each aspect of turbulence that people may feel during the holidays.

Expectations: we are expected to be jolly, merry, bright and cheerful when truth be told we may hate our job, may be suffering from depression or still struggling to develop a self-love relationship with ourselves. December will not take away any struggles we have been dealing with for the other 11 months of the year and it is foolish to think otherwise. How are we expected to give so much to others at this time when we have not yet adequately discovered how to give to ourselves? Society is expecting our whole mindset to change in a snap and it is just not possible.

Finances: without being said, so much money is spent during this time, which first and foremost is bitter as it takes away from the point of the season: togetherness, love and appreciation. We chuck out big cash for emotional reward. Coming back to expectations, we spend all this money and put in so much effort to get someone a gift and we are returned with a simple” thank you” (or better yet to discover they returned it) …the emotional reward does not pair up to our mental effort, making us feel the effort was pointless and disappointing.

Sadness: accompanied by grief is common during the holidays. We reflect back on our childhood and are haunted by the fact that many of our loved ones are no longer here, making a time that was once special for us feel lonely and emotional. It may be difficult for us to appreciate the family and friends we do currently have in our life because we are a little extra focused on those who we no longer have at this time.

In case no one has told you: all these feelings and the 100 others you may be feeling right now are okay. I will repeat: these feelings you have are okay. Put a label and a name to your emotion, notice where it is rooted from. Rather than keep these thoughts to yourself, talk about these negative emotions because THAT is what will make you feel more connected to others at this time. You may assume the person on the other end will not “get” you, but you are likely to be surprised that they have similar feelings and having the conversation will draw you closer and more at peace: which is exactly what the holidays are meant to do for relationships to start with.

If you or a love one is having a difficult time around the holidays reach out to our staff today, we are honored to be apart of your journey. Psychotherapy and Counseling serving Westchester NY

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D
16
Feb
2022

You Are Not Broken


 

 

A black and white image of the word justice.

This âš›ï¸Â¸ this message if your reading is meant for you right now. Seriously meant for you. I wrote this many years back and so often share with my clients and every single time it’s a profound reaction, crying, smiling or both and many other powerful feelings. It’s shown to be a powerful message that so many need to hear over and over. My feeling is that so many need this message right now. This is my gift to you my friend, I see you, hold space for you, you are not broken, I believe in you my friend and always will.

 

 

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D
16
Feb
2022

3 Ways to De-Stress in Ten Minutes


A black and white image of the word justice.

The “Five Senses” Mindfulness Exercise

This exercise is very popular in the therapy world to reduce stress and great tool to use in order to shift your mind away from the internal thoughts that are going a mile per minute. This exercise will allow you to slow down, notice things outside your thoughts and sure enough you will feel more at ease and your attention will be gravitated to other stimuli.

Here are the steps to do the exercise:

  1. First you will notice 5 things you can see. What is surrounding you in your environment? Cars passing by? Birds on the trees? Cookies on the kitchen counter ? Take note of five of the these things that are in your sight
  2. Next you will note to self 4 things you can feel. Draw your awareness to how your body feel on the couch your sitting on or the feel of the silk blouse you are wearing. What textures are you currently feeling. Take notice there.
  3. Now you will shift your attention to 3 things you can hear. Can you hear the conversations of others around you? The sound of your family member blow-drying their hair? The sound of passing traffic out the window? See how far you can extend your senses and how far you can hear past the room you are in.
  4. The fourth step is noticing 2 things you can smell. What scents are around you? Is there a candle burning ? Something baking in the kitchen ? Can you smell the laundered sheets around you ?
  5. Finally, you will notice 1 thing you can taste. Perhaps this is the sip of a drink you just went for or a mint you just had. What is the current taste in your mouth ?

The Self- Massage Exercise to De-Stress

No matter where you are or how little time you have you can easily throw in a self-massage as a tool to debrief from current stressors. Self-Massage is also a nice form of self-care and giving back to yourself. One of my favorite ways to self-massage is using a jade roller and using upward motions of the roller on my chin, forehead and cheeks. If I am not at home and do not have a jade roller available I will administer self-massage with my hands. I will put pressure on my shoulders and move my hands in upward motions in my face similarly to how I would with the roller. Always resort to YouTube for new ideas and techniques to provide self-massage.

Three Part Breathing Exercise

A personal favorite breathing exercise of mine is the three part breath. This exercise is a breath control technique commonly used in yoga but can be used off the mat as well to reduce stress.

Start off by placing your left hand in your upper chest and your right hand on your belly-button. Now, you will begin to sip in breath to your navel (1) , then sip a little more air into your belly (2), then a third sip of breath into your chest (3). Exhale a sip of breath from the chest (1) then another exhale from the belly (2) and a complete, extended exhale from the navel (3). Repeat this breath-work a few rounds until you feel at ease.

 

https://youtu.be/IwVedZlYDNA

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D