What is Non-Attachment?

Non-attachment means moving through life without letting things, people, or places have such a hold on you that you make wrong choices. Not letting things own you.


Benefits of Non-Attachment:

Non-attachment can completely change the way you think about yourself, others, objects, and places. The more you practice non-attachment, the easier it is to live a physically and emotionally healthy life. Here are some of the benefits of non-attachment:

• A feeling of inner peace

• Ability to make reasoned decisions

• Being less vulnerable to stressors

• Greater emotional stability

• Better relationships

• Being a better parent

• Enjoying being who you are

• Feeling more in control

• Greater life satisfaction

• Diminishing fear of loss

Think to yourself :

What Food(s) are you attached to?

What people are you attached to?

What emotion(s) are you attached to?

What situation(s) are you attached to?

What would be the benefits of not being “attached” to these things/ situations / people any longer? How would you feel with still having them in your life but not being attached to them (or the outcome of them)?


“Attachment is the source of all suffering.”

“I’m practicing non-attachment: Accepting what comes and allowing it to leave when it’s time. What’s for me will be for me effortlessly.”

“Non-attachment is an illumining and liberating force. Attachment is a binding and blinding force.”


Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella

Why So Many People are Not Merry and Bright Around the Holidays & it’s ok

Expectations, finances and sadness are high around the holidays for many and yet such a large group of people going through these emotions feel outcasted and misunderstood, making them feel more alone and disconnected. Let’s go through each aspect of turbulence that people may feel during the holidays.

Expectations: we are expected to be jolly, merry, bright and cheerful when truth be told we may hate our job, may be suffering from depression or still struggling to develop a self-love relationship with ourselves. December will not take away any struggles we have been dealing with for the other 11 months of the year and it is foolish to think otherwise. How are we expected to give so much to others at this time when we have not yet adequately discovered how to give to ourselves? Society is expecting our whole mindset to change in a snap and it is just not possible.

Finances: without being said, so much money is spent during this time, which first and foremost is bitter as it takes away from the point of the season: togetherness, love and appreciation. We chuck out big cash for emotional reward. Coming back to expectations, we spend all this money and put in so much effort to get someone a gift and we are returned with a simple” thank you” (or better yet to discover they returned it) …the emotional reward does not pair up to our mental effort, making us feel the effort was pointless and disappointing.

Sadness: accompanied by grief is common during the holidays. We reflect back on our childhood and are haunted by the fact that many of our loved ones are no longer here, making a time that was once special for us feel lonely and emotional. It may be difficult for us to appreciate the family and friends we do currently have in our life because we are a little extra focused on those who we no longer have at this time.

In case no one has told you: all these feelings and the 100 others you may be feeling right now are okay. I will repeat: these feelings you have are okay. Put a label and a name to your emotion, notice where it is rooted from. Rather than keep these thoughts to yourself, talk about these negative emotions because THAT is what will make you feel more connected to others at this time. You may assume the person on the other end will not “get” you, but you are likely to be surprised that they have similar feelings and having the conversation will draw you closer and more at peace: which is exactly what the holidays are meant to do for relationships to start with.

If you or a love one is having a difficult time around the holidays reach out to our staff today, we are honored to be apart of your journey. Psychotherapy and Counseling serving Westchester NY

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella

You Are Not Broken


This ⭐️ this message if your reading is meant for you right now. Seriously meant for you. I wrote this many years back and so often share with my clients and every single time it’s a profound reaction, crying, smiling or both and many other powerful feelings. It’s shown to be a powerful message that so many need to hear over and over. My feeling is that so many need this message right now. This is my gift to you my friend, I see you, hold space for you, you are not broken, I believe in you my friend and always will?


Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella

Foods That Can Relax You

There is a common saying that goes “food is medicine”, a simple quote, but very true. With the holidays coming this is a good time to review foods that help calm down the nervous system. Who knows, maybe you will end up choosing to add some to your holiday table!

Mushrooms – Reishi mushrooms are your go-to mushroom to provide stress-reducing and calming benefits. Research finds that that the polysaccharides and triterpenoid compounds in these mushrooms are why they are helpful in reducing stress. This mushroom will also aid in sleep, gut health and immune system support. It has been used in ancient Asian herbalism for centuries. You can consume the Reishi mushroom in tinctures and teas as well.

Salmon- A delicious fish that can be helpful in easing anxiety due to the omega-3 fatty acids it contains. The omega-2 fatty acids also have the power to keep our adrenaline levels from spiking up.

Turkey- This staple holiday dish will likely be on your table already, but feel empowered with the newfound knowledge that the tryptophan nutrient within this meat will make you feel so calm that you will want to fall asleep. Tryptophan is an amino acid that the body uses to produce serotonin: the neurotransmitter that regulates sleep….now it all makes sense as to why people feel so tired after their Thanksgiving meal!

Tumeric- Sprinkle on some hard-boiled eggs, drink it as a soothing hot milk or baked with chicken, this spice will help with anxiety due to the curcumin within it. The curcumin has anti-inflammatory agents and turmeric will also aid in producing the vital omega-3 fatty acids.

Beets- Beets are not only gorgeous in color and rich in flavor but beneficial in relieving stress. Beets contain folate which is key because research finds that when people do not consume enough folate it is possible that mental fatigue, insomnia and forgetfulness can take place.


Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella

3 Ways to De-Stress in Ten Minutes

anxiety stress therapy Westchester NY

The “Five Senses” Mindfulness Exercise

This exercise is very popular in the therapy world to reduce stress and great tool to use in order to shift your mind away from the internal thoughts that are going a mile per minute. This exercise will allow you to slow down, notice things outside your thoughts and sure enough you will feel more at ease and your attention will be gravitated to other stimuli.

Here are the steps to do the exercise:

  1. First you will notice 5 things you can see. What is surrounding you in your environment? Cars passing by? Birds on the trees? Cookies on the kitchen counter ? Take note of five of the these things that are in your sight
  2. Next you will note to self 4 things you can feel. Draw your awareness to how your body feel on the couch your sitting on or the feel of the silk blouse you are wearing. What textures are you currently feeling. Take notice there.
  3. Now you will shift your attention to 3 things you can hear. Can you hear the conversations of others around you? The sound of your family member blow-drying their hair? The sound of passing traffic out the window? See how far you can extend your senses and how far you can hear past the room you are in.
  4. The fourth step is noticing 2 things you can smell. What scents are around you? Is there a candle burning ? Something baking in the kitchen ? Can you smell the laundered sheets around you ?
  5. Finally, you will notice 1 thing you can taste. Perhaps this is the sip of a drink you just went for or a mint you just had. What is the current taste in your mouth ?

The Self- Massage Exercise to De-Stress

No matter where you are or how little time you have you can easily throw in a self-massage as a tool to debrief from current stressors. Self-Massage is also a nice form of self-care and giving back to yourself. One of my favorite ways to self-massage is using a jade roller and using upward motions of the roller on my chin, forehead and cheeks. If I am not at home and do not have a jade roller available I will administer self-massage with my hands. I will put pressure on my shoulders and move my hands in upward motions in my face similarly to how I would with the roller. Always resort to YouTube for new ideas and techniques to provide self-massage.

Three Part Breathing Exercise

A personal favorite breathing exercise of mine is the three part breath. This exercise is a breath control technique commonly used in yoga but can be used off the mat as well to reduce stress.

Start off by placing your left hand in your upper chest and your right hand on your belly-button. Now, you will begin to sip in breath to your navel (1) , then sip a little more air into your belly (2), then a third sip of breath into your chest (3). Exhale a sip of breath from the chest (1) then another exhale from the belly (2) and a complete, extended exhale from the navel (3). Repeat this breath-work a few rounds until you feel at ease.


Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella