Let’s get moving, how to become unstuck in life.


 

So sometimes in life we’re stuck. Like seriously stuck. Have you felt this way? Have you ever felt stuck in a space, in a job, in an environment, in a relationship? If you answered yes to any of these questions this blog may be a healthy start on how to get moving and unstuck in your life.

Let go of the past

It’s hard, we know. We have all been there. But the longer you live in the past, the longer you will stay idle.

Explore your purpose.

Engage with your purpose, explore it. Does the life you live now engage with that purpose? If not it maybe time to shift.

Here’s some helpful questions to explore purpose.

What makes me happy and brings me joy?
What were my favorite things to do in my past?
What’s makes my soul happy now?
Who or what inspires me the most, and why is that?
What and who makes me feel good about myself?

Practice compassion

Practicing compassion can help one feel more present and unstuck in the routine. Do you practice self compassion? And if you do what does it look like? If you don’t, it’s probably time to start today.

Check out these 10 ways below directly from Tiny Buddha:

1. Transform your mindset.

Sadly, it’s often challenging to lift yourself up (particularly if you’re feeling really low or ashamed), but if you want to create compassion for yourself, you have to change your mindset.

For me, self-compassion started with changing my thoughts. I started focusing on the fact that my behaviorwas bad, not me. Once I started labeling behavior (instead of myself as whole), I was able to be kinder to myself and open up my mind to the possibility that I could make changes.

2. Speak (and think!) kindly about yourself.

Hand in hand with the first step is speaking and thinking kindly about yourself. Your words are incredibly powerful, and if you continuously tell yourself you’re unworthy, a mess, or unforgiveable, you’ll soon start to believe it.

I did this for a long time, calling myself things like “crazy” or “out of control,” but once I started changing my words, stopping myself every time I wanted to laugh off my behavior with a negative label, I began having more compassion for myself.

I was a person making bad choices, not a bad person. If you struggle with this step, imagine talking about yourself as you would talk about your best friend.

3. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.

Forgiveness is vital for self-compassion. We all make mistakes, but not all of us forgive ourselves for them. Depending on the mistake, this can be a very daunting task, but keep in mind that you cannot go back (no matter how badly you might want to), so the best thing to do is to choose forgiveness and forward motion.

Whenever I did something inappropriate, instead of shrugging it off or excusing my behavior, I started apologizing for it, both to others and to myself. Again, I focused on the fact that I wasn’t bad; it was my behavior that was.

4. Spend time doing things you truly enjoy.

If you’re struggling with shame, enjoying pleasurable activities can be seen as something you don’t deserve. But each and every one of us deserves to engage in joyful, uplifting, and exciting experiences.

Allowing yourself to experience true happiness”to take time from your life to do something you loveâ€is an act of compassion.

When I found myself feeling ashamed for a mistake I’d made, I began making a conscious effort to understand what situation provoked that act and I strove to make choices that put me in more positive situations.

5. Strive to avoid judgments and assumptions.

Though assumptions and judgments are often based on experience or knowledge of some sort, it’s very hard to predict what will happen in life. When you judge yourself or make an assumption about what you will do in the future, you don’t give yourself an opportunity to choose a different path. Instead of limiting yourself, be open to all possibilities.

In my situation, I started assuming that I shouldn’t go to an event because I would inevitably cause a scene and have to leave. Little did I know that I’d eventually learn, with the help of therapy and self-compassion, to socialize sober. I had assumed that I would always be “wild,” but I’ve learned that you cannot know the future. Assumptions will only inhibit you.

6. Find common ground with others.

While self-compassion is about the way you care for yourself, one of the best ways to cultivate it is to create connections with others. When you open yourself up to sharing who you are with others, you’ll soon see that you’re not alone.

We all struggle to treat ourselves with kindness, and recognizing this can make the struggle more manageable.

At some point, I began admitting to friends and family that I had a problem. It was difficult to open up emotionally, but the more I did, the more I discovered that I wasn’t alone. Creating these stronger emotional ties made it so much easier to deal with my personal shame and to work toward more self-compassion.

7. Take care of your mind and your body.

One of the most compassionate things you can do for yourself is take care of your mind and body. Spend as much time as possible absorbing new information, and be sure to fill your mind and body with positive things (healthy food, good conversations, wisdom, etc.). Being mindful of what you consume and what you do with your energy is an important part of self-compassion.

Once I began doing this, I was able to recognize what did and didn’t make me feel good about myself. Admittedly, I didn’t always continue to seek out positive things (and still struggle to do so at times), but the awareness of what would and wouldn’t impact my mind and body positively gave me the opportunity to make more conscious, compassionate choices for myself.

8. Pay attention to where your passion lies.

Most of us are passionate about something. We have things that really matter to us ¾ a career, a hobby, our loved ones. Whatever it is that gets you excited, allow yourself to focus on that, and do what you can to spend more time enjoying it. Self-compassion means allowing yourself to be passionate, without shame or fear.

Around the time I started trying to get sober, I realized that my issues with alcohol were a reflection of deeper issues within my heart and mind. I started thinking more about my mindset and, as I explored this, I decided to start a blog to share what I found. It was at that time that my passion for self-discovery and my passion for writing merged, and Positively Present was born!

9. Realize it’s not all about you.

Rather than focusing on how we see ourselves, we often direct our attention to how we think others see us. It’s important not to do this for two reasons: (1) we don’t ever really know what others think and (2) more often than not, others aren’t thinking about you.

Letting go of external validation is a very compassionate choice.

It took me a long time to overcome this, particularly when it came to giving up drinking. For a long while, it felt like everyone was judging me, either because they thought I had a problem or, worse still, they themselves had a drinking problem and couldn’t understand why I was quitting.

As time passed, I discovered that most people didn’t care whether or not I drankâ€they just wanted me to be happyâ€and realizing this made it so much easier to do what was best for me.

10. Cultivate acceptance (even for your flaws).

Just because you accept something doesn’t mean that you like it. We all have attributes we don’t love, but the more you focus on accepting the things you cannot change, the more content you become with who you are.

One of the great challenges that came with my sobriety was realizing that I didn’t, in fact, like partying and barhopping as much as I’d claimed to. I’d made these things such a big part of my identity, and recognizing and accepting that they weren’t “me” was difficult (particularly because I had to overcome the notion that “introverted” was a negative characteristic).

I still struggle at times with being introverted”I often wish I could be social butterflyâ€but accepting my limitations and my true nature has been the greatest act of self-compassion. Doing so has allowed me to direct my energy and attention to the things I love about my life: my creativity, my writing, and the people who love me just as I am.

 

“Embracing these ten tips has helped me to cultivate more compassion for myself, and I’ve found that the more compassionate I am with myself”particularly when I’ve made a mistake or feel ashamed†the more compassionate I am with others as well.

The way you treat, think about, and talk to yourself isn’t just about you. It has a ripple effect that impacts all of your relationships and all of your choices, which is why it’s so important to choose self-compassion whenever possible. It changes your life and, in a greater sense, the world as well.

 

Believe in yourself

Believing in yourself. Do you believe in yourself? Have you ever asked yourself that question? If not maybe it’s time.

 Get out of your comfort zone

Challenging yourself to get out of your comfort zone, with that being or feeling stuck you will feel a change in alignment.

 Which ones will you start today above to feel unstuck? Which ones spoke to you?

 If you’re in need for more support reach out to us today. We are here and honored to be apart of your journey.

 

 

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella

Who am I?


 

Who am I?

Hmm interesting question huh? Have you ever found yourself asking yourself that very question? Who am I?
It’s a great one and very reflective one. Many times clients share this very question with me. How essential it is to grasp who you are, what defines you, what motivates you, what inspires you, what and who makes you, you.

Let’s dive in a little deeper with some awesome questions to ask yourself to get to know who you really are begin the process.

What makes me happy?
What are my goals?
Where have I come from?
What moments define me?
Who do I strive to be?
What do I want in my future?
What inspires me?
What motivates me?
Who’s my idol and why?
What defines me?
What is important to me?
Who’s important to me?
What’s my past look like?
What’s my future look like?
How do I align to my authentic self?
Also the personality test on personality lab can also be very informative.
The most important question when getting to know yourself better and who you are, is ensuring your surrounded by supportive and compassion people. Ones who can help to discover your true self and identity.

 

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella

Mantras to help to let go of something or someone that know longer serves a purpose in your life


 

Mantras to help to let go of something or someone that know longer serves a purpose in your life.

So you wanna let go of someone or something that you know longer have space for. It’s not easy and is a process, but mantras have been found to be helpful in the transition of letting go.
Here’s a list of some great mantras to help let go from https://agreatmood.com/mantras-for-letting-go/
  • My heart has healed
  • I let go of my negative emotions
  • I let go of things that hinder my growth
  • My happiness and mental health are more important than anything else
  • Letting go is the best thing I can do
  • I choose to move on
  • I choose to focus on the present moment
  • I am not afraid
  • The past is over
  • The past does not exist anymore
  • This is the beginning of a new chapter
  • As I move on, I feel liberated
  • As I move on, I experience inner peace
  • I am not the person that I used to be
  • I go with the flow
  • I embrace change
  • I move forward in my life
  • I focus on what makes me happy
  • I forgive myself and I forgive others
  • I focus on the things that I want
  • I don’st give in to darkness
  • I am now the best version of myself
  • I let go of my expectations
  • I let go of the need to control things
  • I let go of the past and embrace the future
  • I love myself
  • Every day is a new chance
  • I am free from pain and suffering
  • I am free from anger
  • I am free of burdens
  • When I forgive, I am happier
  • I trust the universe
  • I choose love over hate
  • My life is filled with joy
  • Things will work out no matter what happens
  • I am open to meeting new people and trying new things
  • All is well
  • I am grateful for the opportunity to move on
  • I have healed my wounds
  • I am free from resentment
  • I deserve peace of mind
  • I deserve to be free
  • I deserve to feel love
  • I do not hold on to things I cannot control
  • The past does not define me
  • The pain I experienced does not define me
  • I say goodbye to the things that no longer belong to my life
  • I decide how I feel
  • I am safe
  • My happiness is my responsibility and it does not depend on the outer world
  • I attract positivity in my life
  • I am ready to live my new life
  • When I let go, I grow
  • When I let go, I am happy
  • When I let go, I am more powerful
  • I don’t need anyone’s permission to move on
  • There is no need to control everything in my life
  • I create my destiny
  • When I silence negative thoughts, I grow
  • Forgiveness is a gift to myself and the world

 

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella

Self-love and cultivating it


 

Self- love

We all need it. We all want it. But how do we practice self-love?

 

Here’s some simple ways to begin practicing self-love today:

 Live in the moment, each moment of every day.

 Practice gratitude. Start and keep a gratitude journal today.

 Embrace change. Accept the fact that we can’t control everything.

 Self-care. Ensure you practice self-care daily.

 Mindfulness, practicing mindfulness can flourish self-love in many effective ways.

 Eat healthy, get enough sleep. Take care of you.

 Surround yourself with people who you feel safe with. Who show you love and kindness that you deserve.

 Let go of toxic relationships and environments. Cleanse yourself of all that doesn’t serve you.

 Forgive yourself. Forgiveness is a key ingredient to self-love.

 Mediate. Take time to be with you.

Be creative. Take up a new hobby and have fun with it.

 Celebrate milestones, each milestone is growth and something to celebrate.

 Follow your passion. Work towards your dreams.

 Journal. Journal your feelings and emotions.

Love yourself. Love yourself, your true, vibrant authentic self. Perfectly imperfect

 

 

 

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella

How to embrace growth and change?


 We all have been there. In the mix of growth and change. We love it and hate it. Even the greatest transitions in our lives can still feel sticky and even painful.

 But with growth comes development and evolving of self. Beautiful things occur during growth changes and can results in incredible destinations.

 Question is, how do we embrace growing pains?

Check out 10 ways to embrace change and become more you, by https://courtneyharriscoaching.com/how-to-embrace-change-and-become-more-you/

 

10 Ways to Embrace Change and Become More You:

  1. Remember that change is inevitable, normal, and necessary. Specifically, you might like to use this sentence (or one like it) as an affirmation! Repeat it as often as self-doubt or resistance to change comes up. Sometimes these acknowledgments alone will offer you deeper presence or greater capacity in the midst of a transition.
  2. Name and acknowledge the changes you are experiencing. You might say to yourself, “Things are changing, and that is okay” or “Whew, a lot is shifting, and this feels tough.” Whether you feel graceful about the change or not, naming the experience is an excellent first step.
  3. Claim your sphere of control. Assess the situation and determine which elements are within your control. It might be helpful to categorize elements as “in my control” and “out of my control” in a two-column chart. Furthermore, sit with the list of items under “in my control” and notice what comes up. Check in with your sense of empowerment, contribution, significance, and belonging. Then, as you sit with the items under “out of my control” you might ask: “Is there anything I can make peace with? Let go of? Ask for help with?â€
  4. Separate yourself from the experience. You are not defined by one change; you are a whole person with vast and diverse experiences. Yes, life changes can impact you greatly, and, you get to decide what each transition will mean for you. If it feels supportive, give yourself a gentle mental reminder of your wholeness. For instance, I use the phrase “I am not this experience.â€
  5. Maintain self-care routines and rituals. While things are shifting in life, it can be helpful to rely on a small handful o self-care practices that ground and support you. For instance, I try to take a long walk“ 30-60 minutes per day, most days, no matter where I am. This helps me feel most like myself, whether I am traveling, going through a loss, or embarking on a new project. What is on your go-to self-care list?
  6. Focus on resilience. Each change will bring with it some level of discomfort. As you meet this discomfort and learn new parts of yourself, you are getting stronger and wiser. I invite you to notice the quality of your heart as you consider this idea.
  7. Ask for help. Friends, you have a support system for a reason, and times of transition and change may call for extra love and care. Each transition is a chance to connect with yourself and your community.
  8. Celebrate growth. Through each and every change, you are making progress. Isn”t this inspiring?! Pat yourself on the back, call a friend, journal, make a social media post, buy yourself a donut, or find another way to honor your growth.
  9. Reflect on your own unique journey. Pause regularly to notice how far you have come. Perhaps you do this nightly or weekly or after a big challenge. Regardless, slow down to acknowledge the distance you”ve traveled.
  10. Connect with community. It can help to reach out to other folks who have gone through a similar change. This can be formal or informal. Ideas include the following: support groups, group therapy, FB groups, podcasts, IG accounts, MeetUps, lunches with friends, and calling a loved one.

 

 

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella