self-care

23
Jun
2022

How to Begin to Build Self-Esteem

 

 

4 Simple steps to start today to build your self-esteem and self-confidence:

Boosting Self-esteem

Set time aside for you.

It’s important to ensure that we are setting time to be with ourselves. Believe it or not alone time is an easy way to begin to build the bridge to strengthen self-esteem. I often encourage clients to schedule in every day ‘me time’. During that time, do something you enjoy, something that is for you, only you and makes you smile.

 

Write down goals and work towards them- grow, evolve your self-esteem

In order to build self-esteem we need to set goals for ourselves and then meet them. Begin by setting small, realistic tangible goals that you can meet and you will. Slowly grow that list to something bigger and reflect on how awesome you are on setting the intention to reach and then meeting the goal.

Do what makes you happy= higher self-esteem

Sounds simple huh? But isn’t always. We don’t always do what makes us happy, we often do things to make others happy. I encourage you to set a reminder one a week to do something for you that makes you and only you happy. It can be as simple as saying no to plans that your just not in the mood for to as complex as planning that grand vacation that you have wanted to do for years. Set the intentions, work towards the internal happiness and in hand build you self-esteem.

Be perfectly imperfect= better self-esteem

We often set such high expectations for ourselves. To be perfect, to do it all, to be it all. Well I challenge you to release and let go of all of that and just be you. Just showing up as yourself allows you to be the most authentic version of you, showing up perfectly imperfect. When we release all of the expectations we truly begin to trust and own our most desirable selves. Trust the process and just be you, perfectly imperfect.

Check out these awesome blogs that talks about more ways to build on your self-esteem today:

https://www.realbuzz.com/articles-interests/health/article/10-strange-tricks-to-boost-your-self-esteem/

https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-boost-your-self-confidence-4163098

https://www.mindtools.com/selfconf.html

https://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifehack/63-ways-to-build-self-confidence.html

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D
25
May
2022

3 Ways to Slow Down and Be More Mindful


 

3 Ways to Slow Down and Become More Presently Mindful

Go go go

Society has conditioned us to always be on the move. To do more, be more, take on more. But guess what? It’s not realistic; it’s not sustainable. In fact it’s what causes heightened anxiety, stress and depression. So how do we unplug and reset? How do we let go of this unrealistic expectations and begin to be more mindful and live in the present moment? In this blog you will learn about three simple ways to begin that change today. To live in the present moment and enjoy the little moments, because in the long run, the little moments become the big ones. Choose mindfulness my friend.

Slow down, breathe in.

Breathing exercises and meditation is a simply way to begin to have your physical body become more present in the moment and slow down. I often encourage clients to use diaphragmatic breathing or belly breathing exercises. Below is a a great video showing how to begin this exercise today.

https://www.physio-pedia.com/Diaphragmatic_Breathing_Exercises

Take a Break from Social Media

Have you ever caught your self aimlessly scrolling through social media? In fact many individuals reports hours passing by prior to even noticing. Here’s the thing while your aimlessly scrolling your brain is taking in so much, expectations, comparisons and even negative cognitions. We begin to complete remove ourselves from the present moment and become emerged in social media, the opposite of being present. I encourage you to take a week cleanse away from social media. Seriously, set a date and for an entire week no social media at all. If this feels too hard, try to set time limits. You will begin to notice and see the difference in your awareness and regulation of your mind, body and soul.

Mindfulness Walks

One of my favorite mindfulness exercises is mindfulness walks. Simply yet so encouraging and relaxing. Each day, weather permitting, I encourage you to take a walk, different than any other you ever did. This time be use your 5 senses to really take in all that’s around you. Breathe in the fresh air, notice the texture on the leaves. If you have family or friends with you on the walk ask them to also take part in this exercise. You will almost immediately feel your nervous system slowing down and become more calm.
Life is dance, mindfulness is being a part of the dance, dance my friends, dance.

 

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D
09
May
2022

Mother’s Day 2022

 

 

Mother’s Day

A woman and two women holding a baby.

May 2022
By Colette

 

What a strange day for me. Even today, I’m not 100% how I feel about it. It use to be the pain, the sadness, the ill feeling that creeped up every year when the Mother’s Day decor started coming out, the painful reminder that my beautiful mother left this physical earth way to early. Followed by the happiness and gratitude of how lucky I was to have her, even for the short period I did. Followed by my Nanny, wow my nanny. The women that stood up to take on a job that now as a mother I can’t even envision, with such strength, such grace, such compassion, even after losing her own daughter she did it all. These two women shaped me in every single form. So the mesh of those emotions was what I felt for years. Many years. Then I became a therapist and an advocate for women, for mothers, the truest forms of warriors and I felt this over whelming emotion again to honor them; to thank them, to see them, all the warrior mothers around me. Today I am one, today I’m part of that very sacred tribe and I feel gratitude, I feel true honor. I’m grateful to my work and especially my boys for making this day easier, for making it joyful, for making it special as for so many years it was the pain. Although I do feel the pain, the magic of love of my boys helps ease it some. So cheers to the multitude of emotions I feel and validate today and the immense gratitude and love I have around me. My boys in every shape and form healed me, they made me whole again and to them I’m forever grateful, they chose me and that’s the greatest honor of my life. Wishing a very special Mother’s Day to all the moms out there. And to my two very own super hero’s in heaven, thank you, truly thank you because without you two strong, powerful women, I wouldn’t be me, I wouldn’t be a mother. Thank you for the greatest gift of my life.

To each, please honor however you feel today, whatever emotion it is, honor that.

With a very grateful heart, a mother.

 

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D
16
Feb
2022

A New Route to Choosing a Resolution


When choosing a resolution for the new year we typically choose one to help us get better at something we do not excel in. The premise of choosing a resolution in this manner is great, but not motivating enough to withstand long-lasting results.

When we select to work on something we already do not like to do, chances are we will not stick with it and continue not growing in that area. In response, we feel even more like a failure and inadequate.

This year, and for the rest of your years, I want you to approach resolutions differently. Forget about choosing an area you lack in. Select an area you are strong in. What are you good at? Where do you show up? How can you up-level this and make this part of you even stronger in the new year?

This approach is different, positive, strength-based and more constructive. Since this area is already a strength you are more likely to stick with it because there is no feelings of shame or disappointment associated with the topic. You will not feel intimidated by growing in an area you enjoy and know the ins and outs of. You are allowing yourself to shine and giving yourself an opportunity to get creative with your strengths.

Happy new year and may you have a healthy and content year!

 

https://youtu.be/zcLv6aZBFdY

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D
16
Feb
2022

You Are Not Broken


 

 

A black and white image of the word justice.

This âš›ï¸Â¸ this message if your reading is meant for you right now. Seriously meant for you. I wrote this many years back and so often share with my clients and every single time it’s a profound reaction, crying, smiling or both and many other powerful feelings. It’s shown to be a powerful message that so many need to hear over and over. My feeling is that so many need this message right now. This is my gift to you my friend, I see you, hold space for you, you are not broken, I believe in you my friend and always will.

 

 

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D