self-care

Feb

2022

Three ways to build on your self-esteem

Let’s talk about self-esteem. That word that either scares the hell out of you, or you feel secure and confident about. For some it brings back high school memories and feeling a sense of instability with your confidence. Others when they hear the word self-esteem, It highlights something that they need to work on or continue to work on. No matter what your age, or gender, self-esteem is essential.

So whether we call it self-esteem, self confidence, self-love, self-worth it all equates to the way we internally feel about ourselves and even deeper our self care reflection.

Below is a list of three ways that you can start today to build your self-esteem, easy beginners guide.

1. Positive mantras

Practicing positive self talk, positive mantras or positive affirmations changes your internal talk to yourself. It can be something that you practice every single day, and or can be your response for when things go wrong, not as planned. Remember we’re all only human, and there is no such thing as perfection or perfect. We all make mistakes, but the best part of mistakes and things going wrong is it leads to deep self growth and development. It’s all about the way we react and respond when these things happen, instead of doubting and eliciting negative self talk, reframe into positive or reassuring self talk. Here’s some examples of some positive self talk, positive mantras that you can begin using today:

I am worthy

I am loved

I am a good person

I am beautiful

I am strong

I am wise

I have courage

I have strong resilience

I can do this

I will over come this

I am doing my best

I am in control

I am a good mother, father, daughter, son, friend, sister, brother, etc.

I love my body

I love myself

I am worthy

2. Another way to build on self-esteem is practicing self-care daily. Remember self-care is not selfish it’s essential. To start practicing self-care, it can be as simple as being kind to yourself and doing things that makes you smile, things that are good for your soul. Whether it be treating yourself to a manicure, starting therapy, or continuing, or simply sitting in a park in silence it’s doing something for you and makes you feel good, that’s all that matters and counts.

3. Lastly, to improve self-esteem is by surrounding yourself with friends and family members who support you and love you unconditionally. You deserve the same love and compassion that you show to so many, make sure that the people you surround yourself with, a.k.a. tribe, are kind to you, our supportive, our loving, and authentic, and remember it’s ok to say no.

I encourage you to begin to practice the three simple items on this list today, and you will begin to notice how your self-esteem grows and increases.

Namaste my friends

Intuitive authentic psychotherapy in Westchester NY

Feb

2022

How to Stick to Your New Year’s Resolutions

At the beginning of each year, we want to start fresh – we feel inspired to get rid of old habits, change unproductive behavior patterns, boost our health, enhance our job performance, improve relationships, and increase our life satisfaction.

This year, you feel all spirited and determined to improve yourself in the honor of the New Year. Whether your New Year’s resolutions include finding a soulmate, getting a better job, losing weight or starting psychotherapy, go easy on yourself and make your goals realistic. That’s the most important step in making your New Year’s resolutions stick throughout the year.

How to Achieve Your New Year’s Resolutions and Make Them Stick

If you set too many goals or make your resolutions nonsensical, you may find yourself overwhelmed and discouraged by the very end of January. The failure to keep your resolutions at the beginning of the year can be dispiriting and stressful and may negatively affect your self-esteem and confidence, weaken your resilience, and increase your anxiety.

Therefore, it is important to make your New Year’s resolutions wisely. Here are a few tips to help you stick to your goals.

1. Set Clear Goals

A successful individual always sets clear goals. Setting goals is a vital part of your New Year’s resolutions. Goals will provide motivation and a clear vision: when you know what you want from life, and more importantly, and how to achieve that, you are more likely to succeed. Setting clear goals will help you focus on getting the needed skills and staying organized.

2. Visualize Your Goals

Once you set your goals, make sure to write them down and visualize actions you need to take to realize those goals. Visualization or mental rehearsal (imagining yourself in a specific situation, performing a specific activity or achieving a specific goal) will help you make your goals tangible. Visualization is a powerful motivation tool that can help you build confidence, improve mood and increase motivation.

3. Keep Your Resolutions Realistic

Whether you decide to exercise more, date more, polish your communication skills, or upgrade your professional assets, keep in mind that no results can happen overnight. Don’t expect to see the effects too soon. Give yourself time and stay realistic in setting your New Year’s goals.

For example, if you made getting in shape your New Year’s resolution, don’t get disappointed if you don’t see results shortly. Focus on small changes to your fitness habits, for example, start with planning a gym three times a week. Otherwise, you may burn out quickly and feel irritated for not being able to achieve your New Year’s goals.

4. Make your Goals Specific

Unclear goals and resolutions won’t work. If you want to keep your New Year’s resolutions, you need to develop a specific plan for change and map out a clear strategy. For example, if you want to improve your communication skills, target a precise skill you would like to gain or the specific communication patterns that you would like to change. Then plan precise and detailed mini-goals you want to accomplish, e.g., not to withdraw from communication when you feel overwhelmed. Also, visualize the change in your behavior and improvements in your relationships you want to achieve.

5. Plan Small

No matter how generous you may feel at the beginning of the new year, make New Year’s resolutions that you can keep. For instance, if your goal is to change some unhealthy behaviors, change one behavior at a time. This way you won’t feel overwhelmed.

6. Don’t Be Hard on Yourself

Don’t strive for perfection when setting your New Year’s goals. Also, don’t be too rigorous to yourself if you don’t always keep strictly to your resolutions. Don’t give up because you skipped a gym workout or didn’t get a promotion at work. The flaws when changing your thoughts, behaviors, or habits are completely normal and shouldn’t discourage you.

7. Incorporate the Resolutions into Your Daily Life

Turning your New Year’s resolutions into habits will make it easier to make these intentions stick throughout the year. For example, make a gratitude practice your everyday morning routine and stick to it. This will boost your mood, improve your resilience, and help fight dysfunctional thoughts. Make other healthy lifestyle choices and include them in your everyday habits.

8. Track Your Progress

Studies show that self-monitoring increases the probability of keeping your New Year resolutions. So, make sure to record your changed behavior daily, weekly or monthly using a calendar or a chart. This will boost your self-esteem and motivate you to reach your goals.

9. Reach Out for Counseling

If, regardless of your desire and determination, you still feel that cannot achieve your New Year’s goals on your own, seek professional support. Your counselor can suggest some useful strategies for making your resolutions stick, help you change unproductive thoughts and behaviors and encourage you to work on your emotional issues.

The New Year’s resolutions are a sound way to do something good for yourself. And even if you don’t accomplish all your goals, it’s not the end of the world. However, to make sure you don’t blow it after only a few weeks, keep your goals realistic and manageable. This will ensure your resolutions stick and help you make positive changes in your life.

Feb

2022

How Social Media Affects Your Mental Health

Many of us remember the time when a boredom still existed. No-internet time. No-social media time. In our highly technological world today, we are surrounded by devices and information at any given moment of our daily lives and have no spare time to relax and simply do nothing.

Howmuch time during your dayor/and night you spend thoughtlessly scrolling through your social media feeds, liking, sharing, tweeting, and updating? Let’s be honest, most of us use every spare moment to check out our social mediaplatforms- those moments we usedto chat toanother person, read a book orenjoy a view at the beach in our pre-social media lives.

No matter whereyouare – atyour home, at the office, coffee shop, exotic beach, mounting lodge, subway, airportorashoppingmall…youare alwaysconnected.

One review study showed that people who use social networks excessively tend to neglect their personal life,withdraw andspend their daytime daydreaming,andexperience frequent mood swings. In addition, theyare likely toconceal their addictive behavior.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has warned about cyberbullying and “Facebook depression” as serious negative effects social mediahas onchildren and teens. However, the same risks affect adults as well.

Here are some examplesofhow social media can be damaging to your mental health.

1.Social Media Promotes Social Isolationand Loneliness

Despite the belief that you’re socializing with a great number of people while browsing your social media feeds, studies show that social media use actually leads to greater feelings of social isolation. One study results indicate that more time people spend on social media, the more socially isolated these people perceived themselves to be.

Thousands of friends on social mediadon’t necessarily mean you are more social and havearicher social life. One study has found that there seems to be a certain capon the number of friends each of us can handle. Moreover, it takes actual social interaction, not virtual, to keep up our friendships.

A recent survey that sampled 20,000 people 18-24 years old showed that young people are experiencing feelings of extreme isolation and loneliness, with 49 percent of themreporting sometimes or always feeling alone while 43 percent feeling their relationships are not meaningful. At the same time, 47 percent of young peoplearefeeling left out.

As we all know, loneliness is linked to numerous mental health problems.

The false impression of connection that we get from social media seems to be increasing our loneliness.Throughour online-filtered lives, we share some of the most intimate moments with thousands, millions of digital friends. Yet, we are forgetting how to have a meaningful conversation with a colleague at the office.

The constant pressure to filter and put a facade on our lives,simultaneouslycomparing our own withother people’swonderful destinies presented in social media leads to feelings of profound isolation, anxiety, and depression.

2.Social Media Negatively AffectsYour Self-Esteem

Compared to all those wonderful, beautiful, active people who seem to constantly be traveling the world, meeting new friends, staying at expensive hotels, and driving fancy cars, your life seems so small, dull, andunimportant.

Remember, social media is not real life. Don’t fall in a trap of comparing your real life to someone else’s controlled online content.

Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and other social media havea negative effect on our expectations and values, our self-esteem and overall mental well-being.One surveyof 1,500 peoplefound thatsocial media platforms make half of them feel inadequate and interactive.

According to anothersurvey, 60 percent of people who use social media reportthat social mediaaffectstheir self-esteem in a negative way.

Instagram feeds loaded with filtered images ofattractive, happy peoplemany times hide the emotional struggle and mental health issues. The pressure to look perfect and impress others leads to pretending that your life is more glamorous and exciting than it is.

Furthermore, the gap between who you are pretending to be online and who you really are can trigger feelings of depression and frustration. In addition, it can make it harder to accept the less-perfect version you really are and seriously affect your self-assurance.

3.Social Media Provokes Anxiety and Depression

A study published inComputers and Human Behaviorfound that people who excessively use social media platforms(three or more platforms)are more than three times as likely as people using up to two platforms to develop high levels of general anxiety symptoms such as feelings of restlessness and worry, and trouble concentrating and sleeping.

Similarly, another survey involving 1,700 people found the link between the use of social media platforms and the risk of anxiety and depression. The researchers find the reasons for this in cyber-bullying, a distorted picture of other people’s lives, and feeling that the time spent on social media is a waste.

In addition, research has found that spending nightssurrounded by artificial lighting can inhibit the body’s production of melatonin, a hormone that helps us fall asleep.

However, social mediahas brought myriad advantages to our lives and cannot be considered asauniversally bad thing. It definitelyaffects people differently, depending on personality traits and previous experiences.

If you are concerned that social media sites negatively impact your life, we can talk about that.

Feb

2022

What is Positive Self Talk?

The voice inside your head has a major impact on the way you feel, act and react. Sometimes, even out of habit we have negative self-talk, which can change the way you feel. Practicing positive self-talk is essential to a healthier lifestyle and reducing stress. Bring your awareness to your self-talk and create positive mantras and statements to create a healthy habit of positive self-talk.

Positive self talks statements/ mantras examples:

I can do this

I feel energetic and happy

I choose to be present

I am confident

I am beautiful

I am grateful and aware of all the beauty around me

Focus on these positive mantras and enjoyable moments in your life, be present be aware, be positive.

Feb

2022

3 Tips for Living Mindfully

In this busy world we live in today, how can we practice living in the present? Living Mindfully

Being mindful, being in the moment, helps release our worries.

Doing things that make us happy and nurturing relationships is one of the most worthwhile ways to spend you time. Haven’t seen an old friend in a while? Call them today, set a date and enjoy the quality time you can spend together.
Noticing the state of your emotion is another way to live mindfully. Being fully aware of the state of emotion, your feelings, helps to ground yourself, so if your feeling love absorb that love, if your feeling grateful show that gratitude. Promoting these positive emotions can help ground yourself and practice living more mindfully.
Set a daily intention, practicing mantras through out the day can help drive an intention and direct a specific energy out in to the universe and trusting that it will be received, whether the intention is a wish, a focus or a feeling, practicing these daily positive mantras can help you live more mindfully daily.

What is Positive Self Talk?

Positive self talks statements/ mantras examples:

3 Tips for Living Mindfully

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