self-care

Feb

2022

How to Stop the Cycle of Anxiety & Fear

This is a great question and for many something at some point in one’s life that is faced.

The cycle of anxiety and fear is a vicious cycle. One that is reoccurring and significantly impacts a persons daily life.

Living in a constant world of threat and potential threat has been reported by many stuck in this cycle of anxiety and fear.

For many avoidance contributes to this cycle and because an individual feels anxious they tend to avoid going to different situations and in hand this cycle grows and gradually works to other parts of the persons life, becoming very distressing.

So how do we reverse the cycle of anxiety and fear? Here is some helpful tips on ways to break the vicious cycle.

Coping skills is key, learning alternative ways of reducing anxiety in situations gives a good chance of eliciting structure and halting the cycle of fear and anxiety.

Reality checks, cognitive restructuring or questioning is another way to break the cycle, whenever something stressful arises, or fear triggers an anxiety response, so a reality check. Ask your self questions like how valid is this fear? How true is this thought? Is there immediate danger. Most of the time, the thought or stressor is fear driven proving to have no reality or truth to it, in hand breaking the cycle.

Mindfulness is another great tool to break the cycle, focusing more on the here and now, vs the what if and the future can help to eliminate fears, rumination and intrusive thoughts about the future.

Exposure is another way to halt the cycle, exposure is like undoing or unlearning a fear, by doing this an individual is practicing response prevention. Exposure helps to break the cycle by eliminating the reliance of inefficient anxiety reduction tools, changing the pattern, ending the cycle.

The anxiety and fear cycle is vicious, however breaking just one link can help to breaking the cycle and living a happier, anxiety-free life.

If you or someone you know is dealing with anxiety and fear, reach out to New Day Vitality Psychotherapy, private practice in Larchmont NY, the anxiety experts are here and ready to help.

https://www.oprahdaily.com/life/relationships-love/g25629970/positive-affirmations/

Feb

2022

Slay the Anxiety Stress Away

Slay The Anxiety/ Stress Away

Often I see clients at my practice in Westchester NY for counseling and therapy with stress and anxiety like symptoms, which can become fairly intrusive in their lives. So let’s talk about some simple ways to start to slay the anxiety/ stress away.

First, let’s try to figure out what’s causing this anxiety, is it something to do with the environment, is there an identified trigger? And if so, let’s make the changes to begin to alleviate the trigger so that we can begin to lower the anxiety.

Second, what can we do now in this moment to lower the anxiety? I often have my client’s journal their emotions. Journaling is a healthy outlet and coping skill with enormous therapeutic benefits, so get that note pad, diary out and begin to journal these emotions and feelings to let them out.

Next, how about some positive self talk, reassuring self-talk. Positive statements and reassuring statements can help to lower the stress or anxiety level in the moment. You can say things as “this to shall pass”, “I’m ok, I’m safe” try it out today and feel and see the difference.

Breathing exercises are also extremely helpful with lowering stress levels. Take a 5- 10-minute break, sit your self down in a quiet and relaxed space and work on doing some deep breathing. Breathing in through your nose out through your mouth. Try doing counts of 4, inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds and breathe out for 4 seconds, consistently focusing on your breath.

Practicing mindfulness is also a great way to lower stress levels. Being in the moment, slowing it all down and working in the here and now is a wonderful way to lower levels of stress. Focus on your five senses, bring yourself to this very moment, when you focus more on your senses you will become less tense, hence lowering your stress level.

Another way to lower stress or anxiety levels is essential oils. Lavender is a wonderful essential oil that has many healing properties and is a natural remedy to lower stress levels. Whether it’s applying the lavender to your skin or using a diffuser with the scent, both can help to lower levels of stress.

Next, we can work on the elimination of negative self-talk. Negative self-talk can leave you feeling unmotivated, stressed and overwhelmed. Thoughts precede feelings and negative thoughts lead to negative emotions and feelings, which in hand lead to negative behaviors. The good news is we have the choice to change this and work on acknowledging the negative self-talk and in hand replacing it with positive self talk.

Another idea is exercise. Exercising increases endorphins which in hand results in positive feelings and emotions. Whether it be walking on the treadmill at a gym or going for a nice walk, exercise can become a key factor in feeling more calm and relaxed and lower stress levels.

Lastly, relaxation exercises are extremely beneficial with lowering stress level. Whether it’s a guided meditation or a progressive muscle relaxation exercise, all can be beneficial in lowering the stress level.

So today’s a NEW day, a NEW you and together we can make these changes to lower your stress, anxiety level. Try out these simple tools and tips above and let’s work together to get you to a better place.

Feb

2022

National Coming Out Day – A Queer Cis-Female Therapist’s thoughts

October 11 th is National Coming Out Day. Coming out is an extremely sensitive, brave, and ongoing decision one makes to be their most authentic self.

I came out approximately 10/11 years ago. I felt all the feelings one would feel; shame, fear, anger (towards self), and hopelessness. I had to come out to myself first, by acknowledging and accepting this is who I was, then to my immediate friends and family, and then to the world. I also continue to make this choice every day by being myself in the world.

Coming out is not always safe for everyone, I was lucky in my case it was. I had a support system that made an effort to listen and understand, without judgment. Funny thing is I still sometimes find this hard to do for myself.

Why is it important that I write this, identifying myself as a queer cis-female therapist? When we’re in the process of exploring our sexuality/identity, all we can think about is how much our loved ones and the world is going to reject us, judge us, be disgusted by us, and cast us out. Yes, I felt this way about therapists too. As much as we like to think we’re the least judgmental, we are ALL born with biases. When I made the choice to enter the social work field, I made a promise to myself that I would not lose who I was in the process, or ever. I’ve walked out of therapy sessions where I felt there wasn’t genuine care/concern in the therapeutic alliance. In order for you to show me who you are, you need to know a little bit of who I am. How can I ask someone to be vulnerable with me, without identifying my vulnerability, the vulnerability we all experience as humans.

I say this to say, I care about you, I welcome you, I embrace you, I do not see you as “wrong”. I do not judge you, I accept you, I AFFIRM you, and all of you.

I was born 31 years ago, but sometimes I feel like my story didn’t start until I was 22. Fast forward to today and I am currently happy in a relationship with a woman. I understand now that I am constantly given a choice to continue to live by my values or against them. I value authenticity, I value honesty, and I value connection. And the truth is, living by my values means more to me than the risk of being rejected when it comes to my life. I knew that the fear of staying the same was greater than the fear of change. I knew when I became older and had less time, I would look back and wish I gave this one shot at life all I got, as who I am. I couldn’t experience any of these values if I shut out parts of myself to myself and the world.

I am still learning how to be comfortable with myself in a world that wants to continue to send me messages that who I am is wrong, disgusting, and abnormal. I still look around in public places for safety before I kiss or hold my girlfriend’s hand. I still feel the pit in my stomach as I share a public display of affection and know my friends/family are watching. Coming out is not just a one-time thing. Its not just on National Coming Out Day. It’s a decision I make every single day and will make for the rest of my life.

This is my story, it’s time to start yours. Whatever you decide to do, please know that I see you, I am here, and I am ready to support you through your journey.

https://www.cdc.gov/lgbthealth/youth-resources.htm

Feb

2022

Flex that Muscle Girl

When we use the tools and skills we have learned to empower ourselves in therapy we begin to flex that muscle. I’ve been calling this strength and growth flexing the muscle for years. Every time I have a session and a client shares how they have been flexing that muscle, I smile, and not just a little smile, I glow with happiness. It’s an indicator that things are changing, evolving, and growing for the client. The client feels the strength to use that muscle and a new chapter has begun, I smile, we smile. This is exactly why I do the work I do. Flex that muscle girl, own your true authentic evolving self.

Feb

2022

Unconditional love is life’s most powerful healer, spread it like a wildfire now

I wouldn’t change you for the world, but I would change the world for you. I never thought in a million years this would be the world my son would grow up in. The pain, the injustice, the suffering. Today as a community, we need to all do better, it takes a village and our children deserve better. I pledge to give everything I have, work harder every day to do my part in healing this world we live in. I do believe we can heal, but it takes the entire tribe. Unconditional love is life’s most powerful healer, spread it like a wildfire now, right now.

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