mindfulness

Feb

2022

How to Stop the Cycle of Anxiety & Fear

This is a great question and for many something at some point in one’s life that is faced.

The cycle of anxiety and fear is a vicious cycle. One that is reoccurring and significantly impacts a persons daily life.

Living in a constant world of threat and potential threat has been reported by many stuck in this cycle of anxiety and fear.

For many avoidance contributes to this cycle and because an individual feels anxious they tend to avoid going to different situations and in hand this cycle grows and gradually works to other parts of the persons life, becoming very distressing.

So how do we reverse the cycle of anxiety and fear? Here is some helpful tips on ways to break the vicious cycle.

Coping skills is key, learning alternative ways of reducing anxiety in situations gives a good chance of eliciting structure and halting the cycle of fear and anxiety.

Reality checks, cognitive restructuring or questioning is another way to break the cycle, whenever something stressful arises, or fear triggers an anxiety response, so a reality check. Ask your self questions like how valid is this fear? How true is this thought? Is there immediate danger. Most of the time, the thought or stressor is fear driven proving to have no reality or truth to it, in hand breaking the cycle.

Mindfulness is another great tool to break the cycle, focusing more on the here and now, vs the what if and the future can help to eliminate fears, rumination and intrusive thoughts about the future.

Exposure is another way to halt the cycle, exposure is like undoing or unlearning a fear, by doing this an individual is practicing response prevention. Exposure helps to break the cycle by eliminating the reliance of inefficient anxiety reduction tools, changing the pattern, ending the cycle.

The anxiety and fear cycle is vicious, however breaking just one link can help to breaking the cycle and living a happier, anxiety-free life.

If you or someone you know is dealing with anxiety and fear, reach out to New Day Vitality Psychotherapy, private practice in Larchmont NY, the anxiety experts are here and ready to help.

https://www.oprahdaily.com/life/relationships-love/g25629970/positive-affirmations/

Feb

2022

Slay the Anxiety Stress Away

Slay The Anxiety/ Stress Away

Often I see clients at my practice in Westchester NY for counseling and therapy with stress and anxiety like symptoms, which can become fairly intrusive in their lives. So let’s talk about some simple ways to start to slay the anxiety/ stress away.

First, let’s try to figure out what’s causing this anxiety, is it something to do with the environment, is there an identified trigger? And if so, let’s make the changes to begin to alleviate the trigger so that we can begin to lower the anxiety.

Second, what can we do now in this moment to lower the anxiety? I often have my client’s journal their emotions. Journaling is a healthy outlet and coping skill with enormous therapeutic benefits, so get that note pad, diary out and begin to journal these emotions and feelings to let them out.

Next, how about some positive self talk, reassuring self-talk. Positive statements and reassuring statements can help to lower the stress or anxiety level in the moment. You can say things as “this to shall pass”, “I’m ok, I’m safe” try it out today and feel and see the difference.

Breathing exercises are also extremely helpful with lowering stress levels. Take a 5- 10-minute break, sit your self down in a quiet and relaxed space and work on doing some deep breathing. Breathing in through your nose out through your mouth. Try doing counts of 4, inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds and breathe out for 4 seconds, consistently focusing on your breath.

Practicing mindfulness is also a great way to lower stress levels. Being in the moment, slowing it all down and working in the here and now is a wonderful way to lower levels of stress. Focus on your five senses, bring yourself to this very moment, when you focus more on your senses you will become less tense, hence lowering your stress level.

Another way to lower stress or anxiety levels is essential oils. Lavender is a wonderful essential oil that has many healing properties and is a natural remedy to lower stress levels. Whether it’s applying the lavender to your skin or using a diffuser with the scent, both can help to lower levels of stress.

Next, we can work on the elimination of negative self-talk. Negative self-talk can leave you feeling unmotivated, stressed and overwhelmed. Thoughts precede feelings and negative thoughts lead to negative emotions and feelings, which in hand lead to negative behaviors. The good news is we have the choice to change this and work on acknowledging the negative self-talk and in hand replacing it with positive self talk.

Another idea is exercise. Exercising increases endorphins which in hand results in positive feelings and emotions. Whether it be walking on the treadmill at a gym or going for a nice walk, exercise can become a key factor in feeling more calm and relaxed and lower stress levels.

Lastly, relaxation exercises are extremely beneficial with lowering stress level. Whether it’s a guided meditation or a progressive muscle relaxation exercise, all can be beneficial in lowering the stress level.

So today’s a NEW day, a NEW you and together we can make these changes to lower your stress, anxiety level. Try out these simple tools and tips above and let’s work together to get you to a better place.

Feb

2022

Couples: 5 Relationship repair tips for cracks in your connection

Whether you have been together for years or just a couple of months you will have points in your relationship where you feel the connection has dwindled a bit. You may feel your putting in too much effort and your partner has become aloof and absent. Perhaps, you feel you two are at a standstill and the relationship isn’t progressing or maybe you feel you two are on different pages, that your lifestyles don’t match up anymore. Regardless of what the reason for the disconnection is, if the relationship is important to you there are always tricks of the handle to try and resurface a strong connection.

1. Discover your (and your partners) love language

Are you someone whose love language is words of affirmation, physical touch, receiving gifts, quality time, or acts of service? Knowing your love language is important and will help you communicate with your partner what makes you feel appreciated and closer to someone. Knowing your partners love language is equally as important because you want to be providing your partner with actions that matter to them and that take the guesswork out of what they are needing from you.

2. Take space

No, this does not mean going on a break! Taking space simply means taking a step back from the situation. Your disconnection with your partner may be such a constant trail of thoughts on your mind that you may need to step back and reconnect with yourself first. Sometimes we allow our thoughts to get ahead of us and we will make a mountain out of a molehill. There could be a chance the disconnection you are feeling about your relationship is actually not as major as your negative thoughts have allowed you to believe. Your partner may not be even feeling the crack! So ask yourself, “Is this situation really that big of a deal, or is it all in my head?”

3. Bring it back to the beginning

There is a theory that if you bring yourself to the spot where your love was at its strongest, the feelings you had there will return. Where was the date you two felt in total contentment and deep connection? Where you felt you two were at your best? Go back to that spot. Being at this spot may re-spark your initial feelings and allow you to remember what your bond felt like before.

4. Go get some cocktails together

Sounds like a first date, right? How long has it been since you heard from someone your interested in, “Hey, want to meet up for some drinks?”….probably too long! Go to one of your favorite restaurants together, put the phone away and act like this is your first night out on the town together! Having fun can be easily forgotten with all the noise. This can also be done COVID style by bringing the cocktails at home. Have a cocktail-making night; most grocery stores have delicious kits and mixes to make right at home.

5. Just ask

If you feel there is a disconnection in your relationship and you are not liking it, just straight up ask your partner if anything is wrong or if they have been feeling the same way lately. This is probably the scariest and most serious option out of them all, but probably the one that will give you the most clarity and answers to your concern(s). Lay out on the table what has been bothering you and what you have been feeling lately. Write it down beforehand if you want; sometimes the most intimidating conversations are the ones that are the most necessary.

Feb

2022

Three ways to build on your self-esteem

Let’s talk about self-esteem. That word that either scares the hell out of you, or you feel secure and confident about. For some it brings back high school memories and feeling a sense of instability with your confidence. Others when they hear the word self-esteem, It highlights something that they need to work on or continue to work on. No matter what your age, or gender, self-esteem is essential.

So whether we call it self-esteem, self confidence, self-love, self-worth it all equates to the way we internally feel about ourselves and even deeper our self care reflection.

Below is a list of three ways that you can start today to build your self-esteem, easy beginners guide.

1. Positive mantras

Practicing positive self talk, positive mantras or positive affirmations changes your internal talk to yourself. It can be something that you practice every single day, and or can be your response for when things go wrong, not as planned. Remember we’re all only human, and there is no such thing as perfection or perfect. We all make mistakes, but the best part of mistakes and things going wrong is it leads to deep self growth and development. It’s all about the way we react and respond when these things happen, instead of doubting and eliciting negative self talk, reframe into positive or reassuring self talk. Here’s some examples of some positive self talk, positive mantras that you can begin using today:

I am worthy

I am loved

I am a good person

I am beautiful

I am strong

I am wise

I have courage

I have strong resilience

I can do this

I will over come this

I am doing my best

I am in control

I am a good mother, father, daughter, son, friend, sister, brother, etc.

I love my body

I love myself

I am worthy

2. Another way to build on self-esteem is practicing self-care daily. Remember self-care is not selfish it’s essential. To start practicing self-care, it can be as simple as being kind to yourself and doing things that makes you smile, things that are good for your soul. Whether it be treating yourself to a manicure, starting therapy, or continuing, or simply sitting in a park in silence it’s doing something for you and makes you feel good, that’s all that matters and counts.

3. Lastly, to improve self-esteem is by surrounding yourself with friends and family members who support you and love you unconditionally. You deserve the same love and compassion that you show to so many, make sure that the people you surround yourself with, a.k.a. tribe, are kind to you, our supportive, our loving, and authentic, and remember it’s ok to say no.

I encourage you to begin to practice the three simple items on this list today, and you will begin to notice how your self-esteem grows and increases.

Namaste my friends

Intuitive authentic psychotherapy in Westchester NY

Feb

2022

The Inner Light of an Empath: Embracing Your Spirituality

Emotions are an inseparable part of human life. We all have them and live with them. However, a spiritual empath’s feelings are delicate and deep. An empath feels sadness, fear and anxiety more intensely and gets upset easier. The empaths get easily overwhelmed and often have the odd feeling that they somehow do not fit in.

An empath feels the pain of others. The pain of the world. The suffering of those around themmakes themoverwhelmed, so empathsoftenexperiencefeelinghopelessness, sadness, anxiety, and depression.So, they oftenwant to withdraw from the world full ofsorrowto protect themselves.

However, if you are an empath, you don’t have to withdraw from the world around you completely.Instead, you need to learn how to embrace your spirituality andhow tobalance your empathyandyour self-protection.

But firstly, you need to understand whyyou tune in your own and the feelings of others so deeply and intensely.

How Neuroscience and Spirituality are Intertwined?

Have you ever heard of amygdala? This delicate set of small almond-shaped clusters of nuclei is settled deepin the temporal lobe of the brain and plays a huge part in processing emotions. The more intense the feelings are the more responsive your amygdala becomes.In other words, the amygdala plays an important part inyourheightenedemotionalreactions.

According to Dr. Elaine Aron, a research psychologist, the amygdala is extremely activated in sensitive people. Through herextensiveresearch, Dr. Aron found that whenshe exposes empaths and highly sensitive persons (HSPs) to pictures of human suffering, their amygdala becomes highly activated.

The amygdala then sends signals tothehypothalamus, the part of the brain that communicates with the rest of the body throughtheautonomic nervous system, releasing hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol into the bloodstream, which further provokes emotional responses.

For an empath’s emotional reaction, it is enough to be in the presence of someone suffering emotionally. An empath feels other person’s feelings and reacts to them. Amygdala then alarms the hypothalamus and the hormones are activated. However, it these hormones are overproduced but not used (for example through body movement), the result may beanoversensitive emotional response.

Constantly repeated, this pattern may block the normal energy flow through the body, putting the hormones and organs out of the balance.

The problem withempathsis thattheirstress triggers decrease rarely or never.The empathsfeel other people’s energy all the time and sometimes this energy can stick withthemfor days after witnessing other person’s emotional reaction.

In short, their amygdala is constantly activated, releasing the large amounts of cortisol and adrenaline into the body, often triggering anxiety, fear, and worry.

How to Embrace Your Spirituality?

Being an empath can be draining. It is, therefore, important to find the balance between your spiritual empathy and the worldyou feel for.

The spiritual empaths are profoundly needed in today’s worldfilled with profounddisaffection and alienation. It is the spiritual energy of the empaths that can influence those around them to seek beauty and peacefulness in the things that surround them.

For that reason, it is important that you work on your inner balance, protect yourself, andlivein harmony with the world around you.

Don’t get to exposed to negative influences. Try to avoid stress triggers as much as possible. Limit your exposure to negativity around you. Tune out people who emit hostility and anger and bring pain into your life. Also, try to minimize the exposure to dramatic news. However, this doesn’t mean you need to tune out the world completely but to filter the information you are going to emotionally invest in.

Be mindful of good.Choose to see kindness, positivity, and calmness around youand be the kindness and love you feel.

Practice mindful meditation.This will help keep yourmind quietand stop unnecessary amygdala activation.

Stay active.If you are an empath, regular exercise will help ease the stress response by clearing excess stress hormones from your bloodstream.

Connect with nature.Negativity mostly comes fromotherpeople.Immerse yourself in nature. Spend time outsideand allow the sunlight and nature to cleanse and recharge you.The empaths are highly attracted to light because their gift is like light to others.As an empath, you emit the light of yoursoul onto your surroundings.Connecting with flowers, animals, and water around you is a great energy healing therapy that will help you regain the balance.

Let it out.Cry when you feel you need to do so. Crying has healing properties -it works like a cleaning mechanism for your soul.

Being an empath is simply something that you are. You cannot choose to be less an empath or not to be an empath anymore. But you can channel your spirituality to make a positive change.

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