mindfulness

Feb

2022

Couples: 5 Relationship repair tips for cracks in your connection

Whether you have been together for years or just a couple of months you will have points in your relationship where you feel the connection has dwindled a bit. You may feel your putting in too much effort and your partner has become aloof and absent. Perhaps, you feel you two are at a standstill and the relationship isn’t progressing or maybe you feel you two are on different pages, that your lifestyles don’t match up anymore. Regardless of what the reason for the disconnection is, if the relationship is important to you there are always tricks of the handle to try and resurface a strong connection.

1. Discover your (and your partners) love language

Are you someone whose love language is words of affirmation, physical touch, receiving gifts, quality time, or acts of service? Knowing your love language is important and will help you communicate with your partner what makes you feel appreciated and closer to someone. Knowing your partners love language is equally as important because you want to be providing your partner with actions that matter to them and that take the guesswork out of what they are needing from you.

2. Take space

No, this does not mean going on a break! Taking space simply means taking a step back from the situation. Your disconnection with your partner may be such a constant trail of thoughts on your mind that you may need to step back and reconnect with yourself first. Sometimes we allow our thoughts to get ahead of us and we will make a mountain out of a molehill. There could be a chance the disconnection you are feeling about your relationship is actually not as major as your negative thoughts have allowed you to believe. Your partner may not be even feeling the crack! So ask yourself, “Is this situation really that big of a deal, or is it all in my head?”

3. Bring it back to the beginning

There is a theory that if you bring yourself to the spot where your love was at its strongest, the feelings you had there will return. Where was the date you two felt in total contentment and deep connection? Where you felt you two were at your best? Go back to that spot. Being at this spot may re-spark your initial feelings and allow you to remember what your bond felt like before.

4. Go get some cocktails together

Sounds like a first date, right? How long has it been since you heard from someone your interested in, “Hey, want to meet up for some drinks?”….probably too long! Go to one of your favorite restaurants together, put the phone away and act like this is your first night out on the town together! Having fun can be easily forgotten with all the noise. This can also be done COVID style by bringing the cocktails at home. Have a cocktail-making night; most grocery stores have delicious kits and mixes to make right at home.

5. Just ask

If you feel there is a disconnection in your relationship and you are not liking it, just straight up ask your partner if anything is wrong or if they have been feeling the same way lately. This is probably the scariest and most serious option out of them all, but probably the one that will give you the most clarity and answers to your concern(s). Lay out on the table what has been bothering you and what you have been feeling lately. Write it down beforehand if you want; sometimes the most intimidating conversations are the ones that are the most necessary.

Feb

2022

Three ways to build on your self-esteem

Let’s talk about self-esteem. That word that either scares the hell out of you, or you feel secure and confident about. For some it brings back high school memories and feeling a sense of instability with your confidence. Others when they hear the word self-esteem, It highlights something that they need to work on or continue to work on. No matter what your age, or gender, self-esteem is essential.

So whether we call it self-esteem, self confidence, self-love, self-worth it all equates to the way we internally feel about ourselves and even deeper our self care reflection.

Below is a list of three ways that you can start today to build your self-esteem, easy beginners guide.

1. Positive mantras

Practicing positive self talk, positive mantras or positive affirmations changes your internal talk to yourself. It can be something that you practice every single day, and or can be your response for when things go wrong, not as planned. Remember we’re all only human, and there is no such thing as perfection or perfect. We all make mistakes, but the best part of mistakes and things going wrong is it leads to deep self growth and development. It’s all about the way we react and respond when these things happen, instead of doubting and eliciting negative self talk, reframe into positive or reassuring self talk. Here’s some examples of some positive self talk, positive mantras that you can begin using today:

I am worthy

I am loved

I am a good person

I am beautiful

I am strong

I am wise

I have courage

I have strong resilience

I can do this

I will over come this

I am doing my best

I am in control

I am a good mother, father, daughter, son, friend, sister, brother, etc.

I love my body

I love myself

I am worthy

2. Another way to build on self-esteem is practicing self-care daily. Remember self-care is not selfish it’s essential. To start practicing self-care, it can be as simple as being kind to yourself and doing things that makes you smile, things that are good for your soul. Whether it be treating yourself to a manicure, starting therapy, or continuing, or simply sitting in a park in silence it’s doing something for you and makes you feel good, that’s all that matters and counts.

3. Lastly, to improve self-esteem is by surrounding yourself with friends and family members who support you and love you unconditionally. You deserve the same love and compassion that you show to so many, make sure that the people you surround yourself with, a.k.a. tribe, are kind to you, our supportive, our loving, and authentic, and remember it’s ok to say no.

I encourage you to begin to practice the three simple items on this list today, and you will begin to notice how your self-esteem grows and increases.

Namaste my friends

Intuitive authentic psychotherapy in Westchester NY

Feb

2022

The Inner Light of an Empath: Embracing Your Spirituality

Emotions are an inseparable part of human life. We all have them and live with them. However, a spiritual empath’s feelings are delicate and deep. An empath feels sadness, fear and anxiety more intensely and gets upset easier. The empaths get easily overwhelmed and often have the odd feeling that they somehow do not fit in.

An empath feels the pain of others. The pain of the world. The suffering of those around themmakes themoverwhelmed, so empathsoftenexperiencefeelinghopelessness, sadness, anxiety, and depression.So, they oftenwant to withdraw from the world full ofsorrowto protect themselves.

However, if you are an empath, you don’t have to withdraw from the world around you completely.Instead, you need to learn how to embrace your spirituality andhow tobalance your empathyandyour self-protection.

But firstly, you need to understand whyyou tune in your own and the feelings of others so deeply and intensely.

How Neuroscience and Spirituality are Intertwined?

Have you ever heard of amygdala? This delicate set of small almond-shaped clusters of nuclei is settled deepin the temporal lobe of the brain and plays a huge part in processing emotions. The more intense the feelings are the more responsive your amygdala becomes.In other words, the amygdala plays an important part inyourheightenedemotionalreactions.

According to Dr. Elaine Aron, a research psychologist, the amygdala is extremely activated in sensitive people. Through herextensiveresearch, Dr. Aron found that whenshe exposes empaths and highly sensitive persons (HSPs) to pictures of human suffering, their amygdala becomes highly activated.

The amygdala then sends signals tothehypothalamus, the part of the brain that communicates with the rest of the body throughtheautonomic nervous system, releasing hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol into the bloodstream, which further provokes emotional responses.

For an empath’s emotional reaction, it is enough to be in the presence of someone suffering emotionally. An empath feels other person’s feelings and reacts to them. Amygdala then alarms the hypothalamus and the hormones are activated. However, it these hormones are overproduced but not used (for example through body movement), the result may beanoversensitive emotional response.

Constantly repeated, this pattern may block the normal energy flow through the body, putting the hormones and organs out of the balance.

The problem withempathsis thattheirstress triggers decrease rarely or never.The empathsfeel other people’s energy all the time and sometimes this energy can stick withthemfor days after witnessing other person’s emotional reaction.

In short, their amygdala is constantly activated, releasing the large amounts of cortisol and adrenaline into the body, often triggering anxiety, fear, and worry.

How to Embrace Your Spirituality?

Being an empath can be draining. It is, therefore, important to find the balance between your spiritual empathy and the worldyou feel for.

The spiritual empaths are profoundly needed in today’s worldfilled with profounddisaffection and alienation. It is the spiritual energy of the empaths that can influence those around them to seek beauty and peacefulness in the things that surround them.

For that reason, it is important that you work on your inner balance, protect yourself, andlivein harmony with the world around you.

Don’t get to exposed to negative influences. Try to avoid stress triggers as much as possible. Limit your exposure to negativity around you. Tune out people who emit hostility and anger and bring pain into your life. Also, try to minimize the exposure to dramatic news. However, this doesn’t mean you need to tune out the world completely but to filter the information you are going to emotionally invest in.

Be mindful of good.Choose to see kindness, positivity, and calmness around youand be the kindness and love you feel.

Practice mindful meditation.This will help keep yourmind quietand stop unnecessary amygdala activation.

Stay active.If you are an empath, regular exercise will help ease the stress response by clearing excess stress hormones from your bloodstream.

Connect with nature.Negativity mostly comes fromotherpeople.Immerse yourself in nature. Spend time outsideand allow the sunlight and nature to cleanse and recharge you.The empaths are highly attracted to light because their gift is like light to others.As an empath, you emit the light of yoursoul onto your surroundings.Connecting with flowers, animals, and water around you is a great energy healing therapy that will help you regain the balance.

Let it out.Cry when you feel you need to do so. Crying has healing properties -it works like a cleaning mechanism for your soul.

Being an empath is simply something that you are. You cannot choose to be less an empath or not to be an empath anymore. But you can channel your spirituality to make a positive change.

Feb

2022

How Social Media Affects Your Mental Health

Many of us remember the time when a boredom still existed. No-internet time. No-social media time. In our highly technological world today, we are surrounded by devices and information at any given moment of our daily lives and have no spare time to relax and simply do nothing.

Howmuch time during your dayor/and night you spend thoughtlessly scrolling through your social media feeds, liking, sharing, tweeting, and updating? Let’s be honest, most of us use every spare moment to check out our social mediaplatforms- those moments we usedto chat toanother person, read a book orenjoy a view at the beach in our pre-social media lives.

No matter whereyouare – atyour home, at the office, coffee shop, exotic beach, mounting lodge, subway, airportorashoppingmall…youare alwaysconnected.

One review study showed that people who use social networks excessively tend to neglect their personal life,withdraw andspend their daytime daydreaming,andexperience frequent mood swings. In addition, theyare likely toconceal their addictive behavior.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has warned about cyberbullying and “Facebook depression” as serious negative effects social mediahas onchildren and teens. However, the same risks affect adults as well.

Here are some examplesofhow social media can be damaging to your mental health.

1.Social Media Promotes Social Isolationand Loneliness

Despite the belief that you’re socializing with a great number of people while browsing your social media feeds, studies show that social media use actually leads to greater feelings of social isolation. One study results indicate that more time people spend on social media, the more socially isolated these people perceived themselves to be.

Thousands of friends on social mediadon’t necessarily mean you are more social and havearicher social life. One study has found that there seems to be a certain capon the number of friends each of us can handle. Moreover, it takes actual social interaction, not virtual, to keep up our friendships.

A recent survey that sampled 20,000 people 18-24 years old showed that young people are experiencing feelings of extreme isolation and loneliness, with 49 percent of themreporting sometimes or always feeling alone while 43 percent feeling their relationships are not meaningful. At the same time, 47 percent of young peoplearefeeling left out.

As we all know, loneliness is linked to numerous mental health problems.

The false impression of connection that we get from social media seems to be increasing our loneliness.Throughour online-filtered lives, we share some of the most intimate moments with thousands, millions of digital friends. Yet, we are forgetting how to have a meaningful conversation with a colleague at the office.

The constant pressure to filter and put a facade on our lives,simultaneouslycomparing our own withother people’swonderful destinies presented in social media leads to feelings of profound isolation, anxiety, and depression.

2.Social Media Negatively AffectsYour Self-Esteem

Compared to all those wonderful, beautiful, active people who seem to constantly be traveling the world, meeting new friends, staying at expensive hotels, and driving fancy cars, your life seems so small, dull, andunimportant.

Remember, social media is not real life. Don’t fall in a trap of comparing your real life to someone else’s controlled online content.

Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and other social media havea negative effect on our expectations and values, our self-esteem and overall mental well-being.One surveyof 1,500 peoplefound thatsocial media platforms make half of them feel inadequate and interactive.

According to anothersurvey, 60 percent of people who use social media reportthat social mediaaffectstheir self-esteem in a negative way.

Instagram feeds loaded with filtered images ofattractive, happy peoplemany times hide the emotional struggle and mental health issues. The pressure to look perfect and impress others leads to pretending that your life is more glamorous and exciting than it is.

Furthermore, the gap between who you are pretending to be online and who you really are can trigger feelings of depression and frustration. In addition, it can make it harder to accept the less-perfect version you really are and seriously affect your self-assurance.

3.Social Media Provokes Anxiety and Depression

A study published inComputers and Human Behaviorfound that people who excessively use social media platforms(three or more platforms)are more than three times as likely as people using up to two platforms to develop high levels of general anxiety symptoms such as feelings of restlessness and worry, and trouble concentrating and sleeping.

Similarly, another survey involving 1,700 people found the link between the use of social media platforms and the risk of anxiety and depression. The researchers find the reasons for this in cyber-bullying, a distorted picture of other people’s lives, and feeling that the time spent on social media is a waste.

In addition, research has found that spending nightssurrounded by artificial lighting can inhibit the body’s production of melatonin, a hormone that helps us fall asleep.

However, social mediahas brought myriad advantages to our lives and cannot be considered asauniversally bad thing. It definitelyaffects people differently, depending on personality traits and previous experiences.

If you are concerned that social media sites negatively impact your life, we can talk about that.

Feb

2022

What is Positive Self Talk?

The voice inside your head has a major impact on the way you feel, act and react. Sometimes, even out of habit we have negative self-talk, which can change the way you feel. Practicing positive self-talk is essential to a healthier lifestyle and reducing stress. Bring your awareness to your self-talk and create positive mantras and statements to create a healthy habit of positive self-talk.

Positive self talks statements/ mantras examples:

I can do this

I feel energetic and happy

I choose to be present

I am confident

I am beautiful

I am grateful and aware of all the beauty around me

Focus on these positive mantras and enjoyable moments in your life, be present be aware, be positive.

What is Positive Self Talk?

Positive self talks statements/ mantras examples:

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