mental health care

28
Apr
2022

How to Feel Less Anxious About The Future, Relationships And Finances


 

Are you feeling anxious or worried about your future, a relationship or finances? Is it keeping you up at night? Or is it affecting you every day life, your interpersonal relationships?

You’re not alone; one of the major worries in individual’s lives involves one of these aspects in many instances. Here in this blog let’s discuss some ways to support and lower your stress level.

 

Mindfulness to Reduce Anxiety

Mindfulness is one way for someone to lower stress levels. Mindfulness shifts perspective to what is going on in the current moment and less emphasis in the past or to the future. By becoming more present one is able to slow down racing thoughts and soften anxiety.

Mindfulness reduces stress as well as builds resilience with our responses to stressors. Check out Colette’s podcast on apple podcast today to try out some mindfulness mediations, newdayvitalitytherapy.com. Start somewhere, start here, and start today.

 

You Have the Ability to Be Empowered and Happy

You have the capability to feel less anxious and be empowered as well as happy by starting to ask yourself the question, what do I need? What can I give myself today? By practicing self- compassion and self- awareness we begin to seek our internal needs and in hand empower ourselves to live happier more fulfilled lives.

I encourage beginning to ask your self the magic question each day, what do I need today? And throughout the day checking in on how you can fulfill that need.

 

How Therapy Can Help You Feel Less Anxious, Calm and In Control

Therapy can help lower stress levels and put you back in the drivers seat, in control. Therapists are trained on ways to help build clients toolbox of support and resources to feel more regulated, grounded and centered.

If you or someone you know is suffering from anxiety reach out to our team today, we are honored to support you and be apart of your journey, newdayvitalitytherapy.com.

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella
16
Feb
2022

The People-Pleaser: A Trauma Survivor Mechanism


Some of us may be apt to help as much as possible. Some of us may know others who are consistently going out of their way to help others. In certain instances, this is a response to childhood trauma. When a person has grown up in an environment where their mental or physical well-being is threatened, people-pleasing may have been used as a survival skill in response to this threat. In childhood, this may have looked like not expressing yourself, your needs, or “talking back” to an authority figure to avoid conflict. This would be considered people-pleasing since the child is putting the needs of others ahead of their own.

As we become adults this trait can easily morph into people-pleasing in our interpersonal and occupational relationships. This can look like trouble saying “no” to tasks we truly do not want to take on. In the work environment, your boss may consistently go to you with overwhelming projects, and in relationships, you may feel pressure to help the other person as much as possible, even at the cost of your own wellness. Subconsciously this is done to avoid potentially experiencing a negative reaction from the other person. If you find yourself feeling uncomfortable or anxious when saying “yes” to someone, this may indicate a trauma-related response pattern. You may notice your body becoming tense, and experience resentment and psychological distress. Becoming self-aware and implementing boundaries is a step into un-programming this cycle. Consulting with a therapist is a great way to channel into the root of our trauma-related responses, and learning how to set healthy boundaries.

 

https://youtu.be/itZMM5gCboo

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella
16
Feb
2022

Saying No


 

Let’s talk about saying no. For many saying no is impossible. If you know me, you know that I always say that saying is not selfish it’s self-care and essential to survive. Below is a list of some statements and ways to say no, remember it’s not selfish it’s self-care.

Do not feel guilt about saying no, you have to take care of yourself before you can anyone else, saying no is part of that recipe.

Honoring yourself is the most important thing.

Before saying no do this quick simple check to range your comfort level with saying yes and if your body and mind tells you the opposite, then you probably need to say no and use one of the statements below.

1. Check in with your body

2. Ask yourself what best serves my greater good

3. Take time before answering

4. Ask yourself the final question if I said no how does it serve me?

Helpful no statements:

Unfortunately not

I’m slammed

Not possible

Not this time

Not for me, thanks

It’s not my thing

I think I’ll pass.

Not today, thanks

I wish I could but…

I’m taking sometime

Maybe another time

I’m not interested

If only I could!

Not now, but another time

I’m honored, but I can’t

I wish I were able to

Damn! Not able to fit it in

I won’t be able to help

I’d love to – but can’t

I’d rather not, thanks

I wish I could make it work

I wish there were two of me

No thank you, but it sounds lovely

We appreciate the offer, however…

Unfortunately, it’s not a good time

No thanks, I won’t be able to make it

Thanks for thinking of me but I can’t

No thanks, I have another commitment

I appreciate your time, but no thank you

I’m not really into it, but thanks for asking!

 

https://youtu.be/zzNmOEJUg-s

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella
16
Feb
2022

Understanding Cognitions, Automatic Thoughts and Core Beliefs


 

Understanding what influences our automatic thoughts will allow us to better see how these thoughts can directly affect what we believe about ourselves, our world, and the future (whether it is true or not). Getting a grapple on these concepts is key to getting a handle on our negative thoughts and help us bring more reason and realism into the picture.

This post will include simple definitions along the way to help better explain the concepts:

Cognitions

Are mental processes that can change our thoughts and perceptions which in turn will change our behavior/experience.

Notice, How people feel and behave is largely determined by their cognitions and changes how people structure their experience.

The cognitive triad developed by Beck proposes three types of views or perspectives, which are thoughts about the self, thoughts about the world, and thoughts about the future.

For example:

Thought about self: “I am worthless”

Thought about the world: “The world is a dangerous place”

Thought about the future: “Thing will always go wrong”

Schemas

Influence the cognitive triad. They are patterns of thoughts that are organized into categories of information that influence our core beliefs

Core beliefs

Are rigid rules a person gives to themselves such as, “things will always go poorly for me”.

Note that schemas affect our core beliefs because core beliefs are influenced by the schemas we have about our world, our future, and ourselves, allowing us to truly believe and feel deeply affected by thoughts that may not even have truthful value.

Automatic Thoughts

Can be triggered in a person’s mind every day. When a person believes things about themselves such as “I will always be alone “ these thoughts will cause the person to automatically think no one likes them and automatically think negatively about their world and environment in general. This can cause a person to adapt negative thinking and see his or herself in a self-critical manner, causing them to feel unpleasant emotions and develop negative behaviors such as withdrawing or being avoidant

The key to managing our cognitions, automatic thoughts, and core beliefs is to understand that thoughts are simply just that- thoughts. We must see that just because we think something, does not necessarily mean it must be so. Calming down our mind takes practice and can be a challenge, but with consistently providing ourselves with positive affirmations, moments of quiet, mediation, and self-care we can better manage the false cognitions, stop the vicious cycle of negative thinking and return to baseline.

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella