The Tools

Shifting Mental States I recently watched the Netflix documentary “Stutz” which was inspired by a 2012 book titled “The Tools” by Phil Stutz and Barry Michels. “Stutz” delves deep into the realm of mental health and self-discovery through the scope of the therapeutic relationship Phil possesses with his client Jonah Hill who also happens to be the director. I will explore the essence of “Stutz,” and the tools it introduces.

We all experience states that we shift through dozens of times during the day. States may register in our brain as feelings or in our body as sensations; even if we don’t consciously identify them, they are impacting us on some level. At the heart of both the book and the documentary lies a set of transformative techniques known as “The Tools.” These tools are designed to empower individuals to break free from beliefs and behaviors that don’t serve us. Each tool provides a unique approach to overcoming obstacles and accessing untapped reservoirs of inner strength.

1.     The Reversal of Desire: This tool challenges the notion that discomfort, or adversity should be avoided at all costs. Instead, it encourages individuals to embrace challenges, reframing them as opportunities for growth and self-improvement.

2.     Active Love: Active Love emphasizes the importance of cultivating compassion and empathy during angered states, not only towards others but also towards oneself, which can be difficult for many. It facilitates deepening a sense of self-worth and acceptance.

3.     The Grateful Flow: This tool centers on cultivating gratitude, even in the face of difficulties, fear, or anxiety. It shifts the focus from what’s lacking to appreciating the abundance that surrounds us, fostering a positive and resilient mindset.

4.     Inner Authority: Inner Authority empowers individuals to tap into their innate wisdom and intuition, enabling them to make decisions with confidence and clarity.

5.     Jeopardy: Sometimes even when we know what we need, we may still choose to not utilize resources available to us. Jeopardy as a tool challenges individuals to confront their deepest fears and anxieties, ultimately dismantling the power these fears hold over their lives.

Through its vivid portrayal of “The Tools,”, “Stutz” offers accessible strategies for those seeking to discreetly shift states and behaviors at home or at work. As viewers, we are reminded of the untapped reservoirs of strength within us, and that we have far more agency than we often claim to meet our emotional needs effectively. These tools, while certainly accessible individually, can be enhanced by working through them with a mental health professional. In our practice at New Day Vitality, we facilitate spaces where clients can “Try On” tools and skills that can create a more fulfilled life.

Posted by pwsbuilder

The Gifts of Neurodiversity

Neurodiversity is a concept that recognizes and celebrates the natural variation in human brain function. It encompasses a wide range of neurological conditions, including autism, ADHD, dyslexia, and more. While these conditions come with unique challenges, they also bring a plethora of gifts and talents that contribute to the rich tapestry of human cognition and creativity. In this blog post, we will explore the gifts associated with neurodivergences and provide valuable tools and strategies for individuals to thrive while embracing their learning differences.

1. Unique Perspectives: Neurodivergent individuals often have a unique way of seeing the world. They may notice details and patterns that others overlook, offering fresh insights and creative solutions to problems.

2. Intense Focus: Hyperfocus is a common trait in neurodivergent individuals, allowing them to delve deeply into their interests and passions. This intense concentration can lead to exceptional expertise in specific areas.

3. Innovative Thinking: Neurodivergent minds often excel in divergent thinking, making them exceptional innovators and problem solvers. They can approach challenges from unconventional angles, leading to groundbreaking discoveries.

4. Empathy and Compassion: Many neurodivergent individuals have a heightened sense of empathy and a strong desire to help others. They can connect with people on a profound emotional level, making them excellent caregivers and advocates.

5. Creativity: Neurodivergent individuals frequently exhibit remarkable creativity in various forms, such as art, music, writing, and more. Their unique perspective and intense focus can lead to the creation of captivating and original works.

Tools for Thriving with Learning Differences

1. Self-Acceptance: The first step in thriving with a learning difference is self-acceptance. Embrace your neurodivergence as an integral part of who you are. Recognize that it comes with both challenges and strengths.

2. Education and Awareness: Learn about your specific neurodivergence. Understand how it impacts your learning style, communication, and daily life. Knowledge is empowering and can help you advocate for your needs.

3. Advocacy: Don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself. Inform teachers, employers, and peers about your neurodivergence and the accommodations that can help you succeed. Self-advocacy is a vital skill.

4. Structured Routines: Establishing structured routines can help you manage time and tasks effectively. Utilize tools like calendars, planners, and task management apps to stay organized.

5. Support Networks: Connect with others who share your neurodivergence. Support groups, online communities, and local organizations can provide valuable guidance, understanding, and a sense of belonging.

6. Assistive Technology: Explore the wide array of assistive technology available. Screen readers, speech-to-text software, and mind-mapping tools can aid in learning and productivity.

7. Alternative Learning Methods: Find learning methods that suit your style. Visual aids, hands-on experiences, and interactive learning can be more effective than traditional approaches.

8. Time Management Techniques: Techniques like the Pomodoro Technique (working in short, focused bursts with breaks) can enhance productivity and concentration for neurodivergent individuals.

9. Mindfulness and Stress Management: Practice mindfulness and stress-reduction techniques to manage anxiety or overwhelm. These techniques can help maintain focus and emotional well-being.

Neurodiversity is a beautiful and essential part of the human experience. While learning differences may present challenges, they also bring unique gifts and talents that contribute to our world in profound ways. By embracing your neurodivergence, seeking support, and utilizing appropriate tools and strategies, you can not only overcome challenges but also thrive and make a positive impact on the world. Remember that your neurodiversity is a gift that can help you shine brightly in your own unique way.

Posted by pwsbuilder

Disney therapist mom here ☀️

 

A black and white image of the word justice.Yep, Disney mom proud and all pure love of everything Disney.

It’s interesting, often people will ask me as a therapist what do you get out of Disney? What’s the mental health piece? As I often refer to Disney as my very expensive self-care.

Truth is Disney brings me back to basic. Disney reminds of the simple joys that as we grow older we tend to miss, forget, or no longer notice.

Disney elicits the essence of mindfulness to see the child’s great big smile when in awe of the park. Or to notice the connection of families. The happiness individuals feel and it rays like sunshine on a warm day simply walking through the park.

Disney reminds me that life is complicated and sure this is accurate, yes, of course, but there’s also so much joy. So much pure, authentic joy and happiness, absolutely incredible.

Disney reminds me of when I was a child and the happiness that I felt every second in the park with my parents. Embracing my inner child gives me the opportunity to connect with some of the deepest layers of myself while at Disney.

Disney allows me to grow, to evolve. There’s so much knowledge in Disney. So much to learn, and that opportunity I take every single time.

Disney allows me to practice mindfulness, to be present in the experience and enjoy the seconds vs. planning for the next.

Disney provides me awe moments, you know the moments that take your breath away? The moments that make me feel alive, vibrant, and connected to others and something bigger.

Disney may not be everyone’s favorite place in the world, but it’s mine.

So this Disney therapist mom wanted to share for just a moment the joy that Disney brings to me and my mental health. Feeling truly grateful.

Love, sincerely the Disney therapist mama ❤️

 

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella

10 ways to live a more fulfilling healthier and happy life today:

 

So we all want to live a healthy and happy life right? Sometimes we don’t feel fulfilled in the everyday routine. We get stuck in the autopilot of it all. It gets exhausting, maybe even draining.

 

Let’s talk about 10 simple ways you can begin to implement today to live a more fulfilling healthier and happier life today.

  1. Practice gratitude

Choose each day to show up with a grateful heart. Even for the small things in your life, food you eat, roof over your head. This can all adjust the way you see and feel about your life and world.

  1. Choose to smile

There’s a ton of research that shows smiling helps us internally as well as externally. It helps us feel lighter and more at ease, plus it costs nothing. Try it out today.

  1.  Mindfulness

Living a mindful life allows one to be present in all of your feelings and experiences, the more present we are the more regulated we become.

  1.  Say no

Say no to people, places and things that don’t align to what truly makes your soul happy.

  1. Practice Healthy Boundaries

Boundaries are essential. They are a perfect example of self- care. The healthier boundaries we choose the happier life we live.

  1. Exercise

Get moving, exercise increases endorphins that help us feel good. Get moving today.

  1. Surround yourself with people that love and truly care about you

When you surround yourself with a healthy team, you yourself begin to make healthier choices for you.

  1. Live for your moments

The moments that take your breathe away. Live and be those moments.

Manage Stress

Be conscious and aware of your stress. If it gets too high it’s time to implement something different.

  1. Choose goals that are realistic

Set goals that are realistic and achievable. Be kind to yourself. Choose compassion.

 

So today is your day, your day to begin living a happier and healthier life. Which of the 10 will you start to incorporate in your life? New Day Vitality is here to help.

 

 

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella

Let’s get moving, how to become unstuck in life.

 

So sometimes in life we’re stuck. Like seriously stuck. Have you felt this way? Have you ever felt stuck in a space, in a job, in an environment, in a relationship? If you answered yes to any of these questions this blog may be a healthy start on how to get moving and unstuck in your life.

Let go of the past

It’s hard, we know. We have all been there. But the longer you live in the past, the longer you will stay idle.

Explore your purpose.

Engage with your purpose, explore it. Does the life you live now engage with that purpose? If not it maybe time to shift.

Here’s some helpful questions to explore purpose.

What makes me happy and brings me joy?
What were my favorite things to do in my past?
What’s makes my soul happy now?
Who or what inspires me the most, and why is that?
What and who makes me feel good about myself?

Practice compassion

Practicing compassion can help one feel more present and unstuck in the routine. Do you practice self compassion? And if you do what does it look like? If you don’t, it’s probably time to start today.

Check out these 10 ways below directly from Tiny Buddha:

1. Transform your mindset.

Sadly, it’s often challenging to lift yourself up (particularly if you’re feeling really low or ashamed), but if you want to create compassion for yourself, you have to change your mindset.

For me, self-compassion started with changing my thoughts. I started focusing on the fact that my behaviorwas bad, not me. Once I started labeling behavior (instead of myself as whole), I was able to be kinder to myself and open up my mind to the possibility that I could make changes.

2. Speak (and think!) kindly about yourself.

Hand in hand with the first step is speaking and thinking kindly about yourself. Your words are incredibly powerful, and if you continuously tell yourself you’re unworthy, a mess, or unforgiveable, you’ll soon start to believe it.

I did this for a long time, calling myself things like “crazy” or “out of control,” but once I started changing my words, stopping myself every time I wanted to laugh off my behavior with a negative label, I began having more compassion for myself.

I was a person making bad choices, not a bad person. If you struggle with this step, imagine talking about yourself as you would talk about your best friend.

3. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.

Forgiveness is vital for self-compassion. We all make mistakes, but not all of us forgive ourselves for them. Depending on the mistake, this can be a very daunting task, but keep in mind that you cannot go back (no matter how badly you might want to), so the best thing to do is to choose forgiveness and forward motion.

Whenever I did something inappropriate, instead of shrugging it off or excusing my behavior, I started apologizing for it, both to others and to myself. Again, I focused on the fact that I wasn’t bad; it was my behavior that was.

4. Spend time doing things you truly enjoy.

If you’re struggling with shame, enjoying pleasurable activities can be seen as something you don’t deserve. But each and every one of us deserves to engage in joyful, uplifting, and exciting experiences.

Allowing yourself to experience true happiness”to take time from your life to do something you love”is an act of compassion.

When I found myself feeling ashamed for a mistake I’d made, I began making a conscious effort to understand what situation provoked that act and I strove to make choices that put me in more positive situations.

5. Strive to avoid judgments and assumptions.

Though assumptions and judgments are often based on experience or knowledge of some sort, it’s very hard to predict what will happen in life. When you judge yourself or make an assumption about what you will do in the future, you don’t give yourself an opportunity to choose a different path. Instead of limiting yourself, be open to all possibilities.

In my situation, I started assuming that I shouldn’t go to an event because I would inevitably cause a scene and have to leave. Little did I know that I’d eventually learn, with the help of therapy and self-compassion, to socialize sober. I had assumed that I would always be “wild,” but I’ve learned that you cannot know the future. Assumptions will only inhibit you.

6. Find common ground with others.

While self-compassion is about the way you care for yourself, one of the best ways to cultivate it is to create connections with others. When you open yourself up to sharing who you are with others, you’ll soon see that you’re not alone.

We all struggle to treat ourselves with kindness, and recognizing this can make the struggle more manageable.

At some point, I began admitting to friends and family that I had a problem. It was difficult to open up emotionally, but the more I did, the more I discovered that I wasn’t alone. Creating these stronger emotional ties made it so much easier to deal with my personal shame and to work toward more self-compassion.

7. Take care of your mind and your body.

One of the most compassionate things you can do for yourself is take care of your mind and body. Spend as much time as possible absorbing new information, and be sure to fill your mind and body with positive things (healthy food, good conversations, wisdom, etc.). Being mindful of what you consume and what you do with your energy is an important part of self-compassion.

Once I began doing this, I was able to recognize what did and didn’t make me feel good about myself. Admittedly, I didn’t always continue to seek out positive things (and still struggle to do so at times), but the awareness of what would and wouldn’t impact my mind and body positively gave me the opportunity to make more conscious, compassionate choices for myself.

8. Pay attention to where your passion lies.

Most of us are passionate about something. We have things that really matter to us ¾ a career, a hobby, our loved ones. Whatever it is that gets you excited, allow yourself to focus on that, and do what you can to spend more time enjoying it. Self-compassion means allowing yourself to be passionate, without shame or fear.

Around the time I started trying to get sober, I realized that my issues with alcohol were a reflection of deeper issues within my heart and mind. I started thinking more about my mindset and, as I explored this, I decided to start a blog to share what I found. It was at that time that my passion for self-discovery and my passion for writing merged, and Positively Present was born!

9. Realize it’s not all about you.

Rather than focusing on how we see ourselves, we often direct our attention to how we think others see us. It’s important not to do this for two reasons: (1) we don’t ever really know what others think and (2) more often than not, others aren’t thinking about you.

Letting go of external validation is a very compassionate choice.

It took me a long time to overcome this, particularly when it came to giving up drinking. For a long while, it felt like everyone was judging me, either because they thought I had a problem or, worse still, they themselves had a drinking problem and couldn’t understand why I was quitting.

As time passed, I discovered that most people didn’t care whether or not I drank”they just wanted me to be happy”and realizing this made it so much easier to do what was best for me.

10. Cultivate acceptance (even for your flaws).

Just because you accept something doesn’t mean that you like it. We all have attributes we don’t love, but the more you focus on accepting the things you cannot change, the more content you become with who you are.

One of the great challenges that came with my sobriety was realizing that I didn’t, in fact, like partying and barhopping as much as I’d claimed to. I’d made these things such a big part of my identity, and recognizing and accepting that they weren’t “me” was difficult (particularly because I had to overcome the notion that “introverted” was a negative characteristic).

I still struggle at times with being introverted”I often wish I could be social butterfly”but accepting my limitations and my true nature has been the greatest act of self-compassion. Doing so has allowed me to direct my energy and attention to the things I love about my life: my creativity, my writing, and the people who love me just as I am.

 

“Embracing these ten tips has helped me to cultivate more compassion for myself, and I’ve found that the more compassionate I am with myself”particularly when I’ve made a mistake or feel ashamed” the more compassionate I am with others as well.

The way you treat, think about, and talk to yourself isn’t just about you. It has a ripple effect that impacts all of your relationships and all of your choices, which is why it’s so important to choose self-compassion whenever possible. It changes your life and, in a greater sense, the world as well.

 

Believe in yourself

Believing in yourself. Do you believe in yourself? Have you ever asked yourself that question? If not maybe it’s time.

 Get out of your comfort zone

Challenging yourself to get out of your comfort zone, with that being or feeling stuck you will feel a change in alignment.

 Which ones will you start today above to feel unstuck? Which ones spoke to you?

 If you’re in need for more support reach out to us today. We are here and honored to be apart of your journey.

 

 

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella