Why You Feel Stuck — And How Therapy Can Help You Move Forward

 

 

We’ve all had moments when life feels like it’s on pause. You’re doing your best, but something isn’t moving forward. It’s not exactly burnout, and it’s not exactly depression — it’s a stuck feeling. And it’s more common than you might think.

As a psychotherapist in Larchmont, NY, I often hear clients say:

“I just feel like I’m spinning my wheels.”

“I know what I should do, but I can’t make myself do it.”

“I’m not unhappy, but I’m not happy either.”

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Here’s why feeling stuck happens — and how therapy can help you break free.

1. Why We Get Stuck

Life transitions, old patterns, and hidden fears can all create an invisible “holding pattern.”

  • Fear of Change: Even positive change can feel threatening to the part of us that craves stability.
  • Unresolved Emotions: Past experiences, even ones we think we’ve moved past, can quietly influence our choices.
  • Decision Overload: Too many options can lead to paralysis instead of progress.
  • Perfectionism: Waiting for the “right” time or the “perfect” plan can leave you waiting forever.

When we’re stuck, it’s not just mental — it’s physical too. Stress hormones can keep the body in a low-level fight-or-flight mode, draining energy and motivation.

2. How Therapy Helps You Get Unstuck

Talking to a trained therapist is more than just “venting.” Therapy provides clarity, perspective, and practical tools.

  • Clarity on What’s Really Going On: Often, the real cause of feeling stuck isn’t the problem you think it is.
  • Breaking Old Patterns: Therapy helps you notice habits you didn’t even realize were keeping you in place.
  • Building Emotional Resilience: Learning to handle uncertainty can free you to take steps forward.
  • Creating Accountability: Having a regular space to reflect and track progress helps momentum build.

With the right support, even small shifts can lead to big breakthroughs.

3. Signs It’s Time to Seek Help

It might be time to talk to a therapist if you notice:

  • You’ve been feeling stuck for more than a few weeks.
  • You keep revisiting the same problem without resolution.
  • You avoid making decisions because you’re afraid of “getting it wrong.”
  • You feel emotionally flat or disconnected from your goals.

These aren’t signs of weakness — they’re signals from your mind and body that something needs attention.

4. Moving Forward — Starting Today

You don’t have to wait until you “have it all figured out” to begin therapy. In fact, that’s often the first step toward figuring it out.

Here are a few things you can do right now:

  1. Name the Feeling: Simply saying “I feel stuck” can take away some of its power.
  2. Change Your Environment: Even small changes, like working in a different space, can shift perspective.
  3. Reach Out for Support: Friends, mentors, and therapists can help you see what you can’t see yourself.

Final Thoughts

Feeling stuck doesn’t mean you’re broken — it means you’re human. Therapy offers a safe, judgment-free space to explore what’s keeping you in place and to take steps toward the life you want.

If you’re in Larchmont, NY or the surrounding area, I offer both in-person and virtual sessions to help you move forward with clarity and confidence.

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D

Embracing Change and Navigating Life’s Transitions: How to Manage the Stress That Comes With It

 

Change is one of life’s few guarantees. Whether it’s a career shift, a move to a new city, a relationship change, or a new stage of life, transitions can stir up a complex mix of emotions—excitement, fear, hope, and uncertainty all at once. Even positive changes, like getting married or starting a dream job, can bring stress. The way we respond to these transitions can make the difference between feeling overwhelmed and moving forward with resilience.

Why Change Feels So Stressful

Our brains are wired to prefer predictability. Routines and familiar patterns create a sense of safety. When life shifts—especially unexpectedly—it can feel like the ground beneath us has moved. This uncertainty can trigger the body’s stress response: racing thoughts, muscle tension, and disrupted sleep.

Stress in times of change is normal, but it doesn’t have to take over. By understanding what’s happening internally, we can take proactive steps to stay grounded and focused.

Step One: Acknowledge Your Feelings

One of the most powerful ways to handle transition stress is to name what you’re feeling. Are you anxious about the unknown? Sad about what you’re leaving behind? Excited but nervous?

Resisting emotions often amplifies them. Acknowledging them—without judgment—creates space for processing and acceptance. Try journaling, talking with a trusted friend, or working with a therapist to explore the emotional layers of your experience.

Step Two: Focus on What You Can Control

When change feels overwhelming, it’s easy to fixate on the “what ifs” and the unknowns. Instead, bring your attention to the aspects of the transition you can influence.

  • Create a plan for immediate next steps
  • Maintain healthy habits like regular meals and movement
  • Keep a consistent sleep routine
  • Organize your environment so it feels supportive

Shifting from “I can’t control this” to “Here’s what I can do” can significantly reduce stress and increase confidence.

Step Three: Anchor Yourself in Routines

During periods of transition, familiar rituals can serve as emotional anchors. Something as simple as morning coffee in your favorite mug, a daily walk, or a regular meditation practice can help you feel steady when other areas of life are shifting.

These routines aren’t just comfort—they’re a way to signal to your nervous system that not everything is changing, which lowers stress levels.

Step Four: Reframe the Narrative

Our mindset shapes how we experience change. Instead of viewing transitions as disruptions, consider them opportunities for growth. Every change—whether chosen or unexpected—carries lessons, new perspectives, and possibilities.

This doesn’t mean denying the difficulty. It means holding space for both the challenge and the potential. Remind yourself: “This is hard, but I’m learning something valuable through it.”

Step Five: Build a Support Network

Isolation can magnify the stress of change. Reach out to people who can listen without judgment, offer practical help, or simply share a laugh with you. Support might come from friends, family, colleagues, or a therapist who can help you navigate the mental and emotional aspects of transition.

Step Six: Practice Stress-Relief Techniques

When stress builds, your body needs ways to discharge it. Try deep breathing exercises, yoga, or progressive muscle relaxation. Even short breaks to stretch, get fresh air, or listen to calming music can reset your stress response.

Mindfulness practices are especially powerful during transitions, helping you return to the present moment instead of being swept away by worry about the future.

Remember: Change Is a Process, Not a Moment

Transitions unfold over time. You may feel unsettled at first, then gradually adjust as new routines take hold. Give yourself permission to move through the process at your own pace.

Every major life shift you’ve experienced in the past has shaped your resilience. This transition is no different—you already have the skills and inner strength to navigate it.

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D

How to Show Up for Yourself: Practicing Kindness and Self-Compassion

We often hear about the importance of showing up for our families, our work, and our responsibilities. But how often do we show up for ourselves? In a culture that praises hustle and self-sacrifice, taking care of your own emotional and mental well-being can feel selfish or indulgent. The truth is, it’s neither—it’s essential.

Showing up for yourself means treating yourself with the same care, kindness, and respect that you would offer to someone you love. It’s about recognizing your own needs and honoring them, even when life gets busy or messy.

Start With Self-Awareness

To show up for yourself, you first need to know yourself. That begins with self-awareness. Take time each day to check in with how you’re feeling—emotionally, mentally, and physically. Are you tired? Overwhelmed? Anxious? Excited? What do you need right now?

Tuning in helps you become more attuned to your inner world. When you pay attention to your feelings rather than pushing them aside, you create space to respond with compassion instead of judgment.

Practice Self-Compassion, Not Self-Criticism

Many of us have an inner critic that shows up loudly when we fall short or make mistakes. You might hear it say things like “You’re not doing enough” or “Why can’t you get it together?” This voice doesn’t motivate—it discourages.

Self-compassion is the antidote. It sounds like: “This is hard, but I’m doing my best.” Or, “It’s okay to have a rough day.” When you speak to yourself with kindness—especially during difficult moments—you build resilience and emotional strength.

Think of how you’d comfort a friend who was struggling. That same gentle tone and support is what you deserve, too.

Set Boundaries That Honor Your Needs

Showing up for yourself also means saying no when something drains you or doesn’t align with your values. Boundaries aren’t walls; they’re bridges to healthier relationships with yourself and others.

Give yourself permission to rest. To ask for help. To take time alone when needed. Boundaries are an act of self-respect—they let others know that your needs matter.

Prioritize Your Well-Being

Self-care isn’t all bubble baths and candles (though those are great, too). Real self-care includes making sure you eat well, get enough sleep, move your body, and take breaks when needed. It’s doing the things that keep you grounded and balanced—even when you don’t feel like it.

Showing up for yourself means making your well-being a non-negotiable part of your life.

Celebrate Your Efforts

You don’t have to wait until you’ve achieved something big to feel proud of yourself. Celebrate the small wins—the moments you chose rest over burnout, the times you spoke up for your needs, the days you were kind to yourself.

Progress is built on consistent effort, not perfection.

In Conclusion

Showing up for yourself is an ongoing practice. It’s choosing to meet yourself where you are—with kindness, grace, and compassion. You are not a project to be fixed; you are a human being worthy of care, love, and attention—especially from yourself.

So pause, breathe, and remind yourself: I am allowed to take up space. I am allowed to care for myself. I am enough—just as I am.

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D

Handling Stress and Life: Finding Balance in the Chaos

Stress is a natural part of life. Whether it’s caused by work demands, financial pressures, parenting challenges, health concerns, or relationship issues, stress can feel overwhelming when it piles up. But while stress is unavoidable, how we respond to it makes all the difference. Learning to manage stress in healthy, intentional ways can improve your emotional well-being, your relationships, and your overall quality of life.

Recognize the Signs of Stress

The first step in managing stress is recognizing when it’s taking a toll. Stress doesn’t always show up as panic or overwhelm. It can appear as irritability, fatigue, trouble sleeping, muscle tension, forgetfulness, or withdrawing from others. If you’re constantly on edge or feeling like you’re running on empty, your body and mind are likely telling you it’s time to pause and recalibrate.

Shift from Reaction to Response

When stress hits, it’s easy to react impulsively—snapping at loved ones, procrastinating, or numbing out with food, screens, or alcohol. Instead, practice responding with intention. That starts with creating space between the stressor and your reaction. Take a few deep breaths, count to ten, or take a short walk to clear your head.

Responding instead of reacting puts you back in control. It allows you to make thoughtful decisions and handle challenges with more clarity and resilience.

Prioritize What You Can Control

Not everything in life is within your control. Trying to manage everything at once often leads to more stress. Instead, focus your energy on what is within your reach—your thoughts, your actions, and how you take care of yourself. Make a list of your stressors, then highlight the things you can influence. Taking even small steps can help you feel more grounded and empowered.

Create Healthy Daily Habits

Daily routines can be powerful tools for managing stress. Aim to incorporate habits that support both your body and mind:

Movement: Regular physical activity—walking, stretching, or exercising—releases tension and boosts mood.

Sleep: Prioritize rest. Sleep is your body’s way of resetting and recovering.

Nutrition: Fuel your body with foods that support energy and focus.

Mindfulness: Even 5-10 minutes a day of quiet breathing, meditation, or journaling can calm your nervous system.

These small habits, done consistently, add up to big changes over time.

Stay Connected

When life feels stressful, it’s tempting to isolate—but connection is a key part of resilience. Talk to a trusted friend, partner, or therapist. Sometimes just being heard and understood can lighten the emotional load. You don’t have to carry everything alone.

Give Yourself Grace

Stress doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re human. Be kind to yourself during hard seasons. You’re allowed to have off days. You’re allowed to ask for help. Let go of the pressure to be perfect and instead focus on showing up as your best self, one day at a time.

In Conclusion

Stress is part of life—but it doesn’t have to take over your life. By building healthy habits, staying connected, and responding with intention, you can find balance in the chaos. You deserve peace, even in the messiness of everyday life. Start small. Be gentle with yourself. And remember: progress, not perfection, is the goal.

 

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D

Being Perfectly Imperfect: Embracing Yourself Just As You Are

In a world obsessed with perfection—flawless appearances, perfect parenting, career milestones, and curated social media lives—it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking we’re not enough. We strive to meet impossible standards and judge ourselves harshly when we fall short. But what if the path to peace, fulfillment, and self-love isn’t about becoming “perfect”—but about embracing being perfectly imperfect?

Let Go of the Illusion

Perfection is an illusion. No one has it all figured out, and no life is without mess, mistakes, or moments of doubt. The pursuit of perfection often leads to burnout, anxiety, and disconnection from our true selves. We hide our flaws, suppress our feelings, and wear masks that keep us from living authentically.

Accepting your imperfections doesn’t mean settling for less or avoiding growth—it means loving yourself through the process. Real self-worth is rooted in knowing that you are valuable as you are, not just when you meet some external expectation.

Embrace the Growth in Imperfection

Your flaws and failures are not signs of weakness—they’re opportunities for growth. Every time you make a mistake, experience a setback, or feel uncertain, you’re learning something new about yourself. Your imperfections are where resilience, empathy, and character are built.

Being perfectly imperfect means giving yourself permission to grow without tearing yourself down. It means saying, “I made a mistake, but I’m still worthy of love and respect.” It’s a gentle reminder that growth isn’t linear, and healing takes time.

Practice Self-Compassion

One of the most powerful ways to embrace your imperfect self is through self-compassion. When you talk to yourself, do you speak with the kindness you’d offer a friend? Or do you criticize and judge?

Try replacing harsh inner dialogue with words like, “I’m doing the best I can right now,” or “It’s okay to not have all the answers.” Self-compassion isn’t indulgent—it’s healing. It creates space for peace, patience, and a healthier relationship with yourself.

Show Up Authentically

When you embrace your imperfections, you give others permission to do the same. Vulnerability is powerful. It strengthens relationships, deepens connections, and creates trust. Whether you’re a parent, partner, friend, or professional, showing up as your real self is one of the greatest gifts you can offer.

Authenticity means saying no when you need to, asking for help when you’re overwhelmed, and being honest about your struggles. It’s about being proud of who you are, not just who you think you should be.

In Conclusion

You don’t need to be perfect to be worthy. You don’t need to have it all together to be lovable. You are human—beautifully flawed, constantly evolving, and completely enough.

Being perfectly imperfect is a courageous act. It’s choosing to live in the truth of who you are, rather than chasing who you think you should be. Let go of the pressure. Lean into self-acceptance. And know that the real you—messy, growing, learning—is more than enough.

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D