How Do We Love Ourselves Unconditionally?


Well, that’s a tough question, how do we love ourselves unconditionally? I’m here to help with guidance on the ability to do this.

Through my years of being a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, many of times I’ve been asked this, or some how some way our conversation have come back to the idea do you love yourself? And I admit each person is unique, so what it means to one person to love themselves unconditionally can look different for someone else, but the core concepts are essential to be able to love yourself, or show yourself love. My list below goes through the ways we all can love ourselves or love ourselves better, when done and practiced our lives become enhanced, happier and more fulfilling.

So this moment is the moment to choose to love, to love yourself unconditionally and by doing so love will be your most rewarding gift you can ever give yourself

Self care is essential when it comes to loving yourself. Self care can range from different activities, and components but it’s an essential building block towards loving yourself. Are you eating, are you drinking, are you getting enough sleep for your body? These are core components of self care. Now to go deeper are you feeding your soul? Are you doing things that may you happy, that make you complete? What I tell my clients often is do you, take a day to yourself, read, relax, binge on your favorite show, but most importantly show yourself self care and self love.

Appreciation, is another way to love your self, do you appreciate yourself? Are you appreciating your goals? Your hard work to obtain them? Self appreciation is key to loving yourself and admiring all the hard work you have done and are doing.

Mindfulness is also another key concept to unconditional self love, being apart of a moment and not worrying about the past or future brings you closer to your inner feelings and self and in hand makes you a happier person. Mindfulness can be as simple as using your five senses to ground yourself to practicing more complex mindfulness meditation. Mindfulness allows you to understand yourself on a deeper level and be present with that love.

Self acceptance is another key player in self love. Accepting your self as you are, and being proud of that person is a huge block to self love. We are all human beings and all make mistakes but being able to forgive the past, and accept and move forward in a positive light is self acceptance and self love.

Practice what you preach, the love you deserve and expect from others ensure that your also treating yourself with that same unconditional love, be kind to your self, practice self esteem and self confidence building to show your self the love you deserve and appreciation.

Good long lasting relationships are essential to love yourself. It’s said that you are made up of the 5 people your closet to, and in hand shows how you feel about yourself. So, with this in mind, surround yourself with loving, caring and great people and you will also begin to treat and love yourself the way these people do, feel loved, feel appreciated.

Positive self talk is another way to love yourself unconditionally. Positive mantras are fantastic for feeling good and loving yourself. I encourage my clients to choose new ones each week and the positivity that arises is explosive.

Challenging negative thoughts, is another way to eliminate negative self talk and begin to love yourself. Question the negative thoughts and understand that most are not even valid thoughts, begin to replace them with positive thoughts and see how quickly your life and the way you life and the way you love yourself changes.

Avoid perfection, now a days everyone is striving for perfection, well hate to break it but there’s no such thing, so begin today with self love and avoid these theme of perfection, don’t compare yourselves to others just love who you are truly and deeply.

Exercise is another way to practice self love, endorphins released provide a positive effect on our minds and in hand we feel good, so whether it’s running outside or going to the gym, it’s time to get moving.

Gratitude is another way to truly love yourself. I often encourage my clients to keep a gratitude journal, being sincere with your gratitude allows you to reflect deeper on the beauty of your life, what surrounds you, and yourself.

Self-compassion and self-worth is also major parts in loving yourself unconditionally. Be compassionate for yourself, be easy on yourself and always remember your self-worth. For some this may be creating healthy boundaries to ensure they protect there self-worth, and by doing this surround themselves with only positivity and love.

Once you’re able to love yourself unconditionally you will see how quickly and positively your life changes, As you grow closer to yourself, love yourself, you will also become more powerful, so choose love today, the most healing component in the world, love.

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D