mindfulness

Feb

2022

3 Ways to De-Stress in Ten Minutes

The “Five Senses” Mindfulness Exercise

This exercise is very popular in the therapy world to reduce stress and great tool to use in order to shift your mind away from the internal thoughts that are going a mile per minute. This exercise will allow you to slow down, notice things outside your thoughts and sure enough you will feel more at ease and your attention will be gravitated to other stimuli.

Here are the steps to do the exercise:

First you will notice 5 things you can see. What is surrounding you in your environment? Cars passing by? Birds on the trees? Cookies on the kitchen counter ? Take note of five of the these things that are in your sight
Next you will note to self 4 things you can feel. Draw your awareness to how your body feel on the couch your sitting on or the feel of the silk blouse you are wearing. What textures are you currently feeling. Take notice there.
Now you will shift your attention to 3 things you can hear. Can you hear the conversations of others around you? The sound of your family member blow-drying their hair? The sound of passing traffic out the window? See how far you can extend your senses and how far you can hear past the room you are in.
The fourth step is noticing 2 things you can smell. What scents are around you? Is there a candle burning ? Something baking in the kitchen ? Can you smell the laundered sheets around you ?
Finally, you will notice 1 thing you can taste. Perhaps this is the sip of a drink you just went for or a mint you just had. What is the current taste in your mouth ?

The Self- Massage Exercise to De-Stress

No matter where you are or how little time you have you can easily throw in a self-massage as a tool to debrief from current stressors. Self-Massage is also a nice form of self-care and giving back to yourself. One of my favorite ways to self-massage is using a jade roller and using upward motions of the roller on my chin, forehead and cheeks. If I am not at home and do not have a jade roller available I will administer self-massage with my hands. I will put pressure on my shoulders and move my hands in upward motions in my face similarly to how I would with the roller. Always resort to YouTube for new ideas and techniques to provide self-massage.

Three Part Breathing Exercise

A personal favorite breathing exercise of mine is the three part breath. This exercise is a breath control technique commonly used in yoga but can be used off the mat as well to reduce stress.

Start off by placing your left hand in your upper chest and your right hand on your belly-button. Now, you will begin to sip in breath to your navel (1) , then sip a little more air into your belly (2), then a third sip of breath into your chest (3). Exhale a sip of breath from the chest (1) then another exhale from the belly (2) and a complete, extended exhale from the navel (3). Repeat this breath-work a few rounds until you feel at ease.

https://youtu.be/IwVedZlYDNA

Feb

2022

How to Stop the Cycle of Anxiety & Fear

This is a great question and for many something at some point in one’s life that is faced.

The cycle of anxiety and fear is a vicious cycle. One that is reoccurring and significantly impacts a persons daily life.

Living in a constant world of threat and potential threat has been reported by many stuck in this cycle of anxiety and fear.

For many avoidance contributes to this cycle and because an individual feels anxious they tend to avoid going to different situations and in hand this cycle grows and gradually works to other parts of the persons life, becoming very distressing.

So how do we reverse the cycle of anxiety and fear? Here is some helpful tips on ways to break the vicious cycle.

Coping skills is key, learning alternative ways of reducing anxiety in situations gives a good chance of eliciting structure and halting the cycle of fear and anxiety.

Reality checks, cognitive restructuring or questioning is another way to break the cycle, whenever something stressful arises, or fear triggers an anxiety response, so a reality check. Ask your self questions like how valid is this fear? How true is this thought? Is there immediate danger. Most of the time, the thought or stressor is fear driven proving to have no reality or truth to it, in hand breaking the cycle.

Mindfulness is another great tool to break the cycle, focusing more on the here and now, vs the what if and the future can help to eliminate fears, rumination and intrusive thoughts about the future.

Exposure is another way to halt the cycle, exposure is like undoing or unlearning a fear, by doing this an individual is practicing response prevention. Exposure helps to break the cycle by eliminating the reliance of inefficient anxiety reduction tools, changing the pattern, ending the cycle.

The anxiety and fear cycle is vicious, however breaking just one link can help to breaking the cycle and living a happier, anxiety-free life.

If you or someone you know is dealing with anxiety and fear, reach out to New Day Vitality Psychotherapy, private practice in Larchmont NY, the anxiety experts are here and ready to help.

https://www.oprahdaily.com/life/relationships-love/g25629970/positive-affirmations/

Feb

2022

Slay the Anxiety Stress Away

Slay The Anxiety/ Stress Away

Often I see clients at my practice in Westchester NY for counseling and therapy with stress and anxiety like symptoms, which can become fairly intrusive in their lives. So let’s talk about some simple ways to start to slay the anxiety/ stress away.

First, let’s try to figure out what’s causing this anxiety, is it something to do with the environment, is there an identified trigger? And if so, let’s make the changes to begin to alleviate the trigger so that we can begin to lower the anxiety.

Second, what can we do now in this moment to lower the anxiety? I often have my client’s journal their emotions. Journaling is a healthy outlet and coping skill with enormous therapeutic benefits, so get that note pad, diary out and begin to journal these emotions and feelings to let them out.

Next, how about some positive self talk, reassuring self-talk. Positive statements and reassuring statements can help to lower the stress or anxiety level in the moment. You can say things as “this to shall pass”, “I’m ok, I’m safe” try it out today and feel and see the difference.

Breathing exercises are also extremely helpful with lowering stress levels. Take a 5- 10-minute break, sit your self down in a quiet and relaxed space and work on doing some deep breathing. Breathing in through your nose out through your mouth. Try doing counts of 4, inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds and breathe out for 4 seconds, consistently focusing on your breath.

Practicing mindfulness is also a great way to lower stress levels. Being in the moment, slowing it all down and working in the here and now is a wonderful way to lower levels of stress. Focus on your five senses, bring yourself to this very moment, when you focus more on your senses you will become less tense, hence lowering your stress level.

Another way to lower stress or anxiety levels is essential oils. Lavender is a wonderful essential oil that has many healing properties and is a natural remedy to lower stress levels. Whether it’s applying the lavender to your skin or using a diffuser with the scent, both can help to lower levels of stress.

Next, we can work on the elimination of negative self-talk. Negative self-talk can leave you feeling unmotivated, stressed and overwhelmed. Thoughts precede feelings and negative thoughts lead to negative emotions and feelings, which in hand lead to negative behaviors. The good news is we have the choice to change this and work on acknowledging the negative self-talk and in hand replacing it with positive self talk.

Another idea is exercise. Exercising increases endorphins which in hand results in positive feelings and emotions. Whether it be walking on the treadmill at a gym or going for a nice walk, exercise can become a key factor in feeling more calm and relaxed and lower stress levels.

Lastly, relaxation exercises are extremely beneficial with lowering stress level. Whether it’s a guided meditation or a progressive muscle relaxation exercise, all can be beneficial in lowering the stress level.

So today’s a NEW day, a NEW you and together we can make these changes to lower your stress, anxiety level. Try out these simple tools and tips above and let’s work together to get you to a better place.

Feb

2022

Couples: 5 Relationship repair tips for cracks in your connection

Whether you have been together for years or just a couple of months you will have points in your relationship where you feel the connection has dwindled a bit. You may feel your putting in too much effort and your partner has become aloof and absent. Perhaps, you feel you two are at a standstill and the relationship isn’t progressing or maybe you feel you two are on different pages, that your lifestyles don’t match up anymore. Regardless of what the reason for the disconnection is, if the relationship is important to you there are always tricks of the handle to try and resurface a strong connection.

1. Discover your (and your partners) love language

Are you someone whose love language is words of affirmation, physical touch, receiving gifts, quality time, or acts of service? Knowing your love language is important and will help you communicate with your partner what makes you feel appreciated and closer to someone. Knowing your partners love language is equally as important because you want to be providing your partner with actions that matter to them and that take the guesswork out of what they are needing from you.

2. Take space

No, this does not mean going on a break! Taking space simply means taking a step back from the situation. Your disconnection with your partner may be such a constant trail of thoughts on your mind that you may need to step back and reconnect with yourself first. Sometimes we allow our thoughts to get ahead of us and we will make a mountain out of a molehill. There could be a chance the disconnection you are feeling about your relationship is actually not as major as your negative thoughts have allowed you to believe. Your partner may not be even feeling the crack! So ask yourself, “Is this situation really that big of a deal, or is it all in my head?”

3. Bring it back to the beginning

There is a theory that if you bring yourself to the spot where your love was at its strongest, the feelings you had there will return. Where was the date you two felt in total contentment and deep connection? Where you felt you two were at your best? Go back to that spot. Being at this spot may re-spark your initial feelings and allow you to remember what your bond felt like before.

4. Go get some cocktails together

Sounds like a first date, right? How long has it been since you heard from someone your interested in, “Hey, want to meet up for some drinks?”….probably too long! Go to one of your favorite restaurants together, put the phone away and act like this is your first night out on the town together! Having fun can be easily forgotten with all the noise. This can also be done COVID style by bringing the cocktails at home. Have a cocktail-making night; most grocery stores have delicious kits and mixes to make right at home.

5. Just ask

If you feel there is a disconnection in your relationship and you are not liking it, just straight up ask your partner if anything is wrong or if they have been feeling the same way lately. This is probably the scariest and most serious option out of them all, but probably the one that will give you the most clarity and answers to your concern(s). Lay out on the table what has been bothering you and what you have been feeling lately. Write it down beforehand if you want; sometimes the most intimidating conversations are the ones that are the most necessary.

Feb

2022

Three ways to build on your self-esteem

Let’s talk about self-esteem. That word that either scares the hell out of you, or you feel secure and confident about. For some it brings back high school memories and feeling a sense of instability with your confidence. Others when they hear the word self-esteem, It highlights something that they need to work on or continue to work on. No matter what your age, or gender, self-esteem is essential.

So whether we call it self-esteem, self confidence, self-love, self-worth it all equates to the way we internally feel about ourselves and even deeper our self care reflection.

Below is a list of three ways that you can start today to build your self-esteem, easy beginners guide.

1. Positive mantras

Practicing positive self talk, positive mantras or positive affirmations changes your internal talk to yourself. It can be something that you practice every single day, and or can be your response for when things go wrong, not as planned. Remember we’re all only human, and there is no such thing as perfection or perfect. We all make mistakes, but the best part of mistakes and things going wrong is it leads to deep self growth and development. It’s all about the way we react and respond when these things happen, instead of doubting and eliciting negative self talk, reframe into positive or reassuring self talk. Here’s some examples of some positive self talk, positive mantras that you can begin using today:

I am worthy

I am loved

I am a good person

I am beautiful

I am strong

I am wise

I have courage

I have strong resilience

I can do this

I will over come this

I am doing my best

I am in control

I am a good mother, father, daughter, son, friend, sister, brother, etc.

I love my body

I love myself

I am worthy

2. Another way to build on self-esteem is practicing self-care daily. Remember self-care is not selfish it’s essential. To start practicing self-care, it can be as simple as being kind to yourself and doing things that makes you smile, things that are good for your soul. Whether it be treating yourself to a manicure, starting therapy, or continuing, or simply sitting in a park in silence it’s doing something for you and makes you feel good, that’s all that matters and counts.

3. Lastly, to improve self-esteem is by surrounding yourself with friends and family members who support you and love you unconditionally. You deserve the same love and compassion that you show to so many, make sure that the people you surround yourself with, a.k.a. tribe, are kind to you, our supportive, our loving, and authentic, and remember it’s ok to say no.

I encourage you to begin to practice the three simple items on this list today, and you will begin to notice how your self-esteem grows and increases.

Namaste my friends

Intuitive authentic psychotherapy in Westchester NY

The “Five Senses” Mindfulness Exercise

The Self- Massage Exercise to De-Stress

Three Part Breathing Exercise

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