holidays

Nov

2025

Coping with Depression During the Holidays Around Family

The holiday season is often portrayed as a time of joy, connection, and celebration, yet for many people living with depression, it can be one of the most difficult times of the year. Family gatherings, expectations of happiness, and the pressure to engage in festivities can amplify feelings of sadness, anxiety, or emptiness. Understanding why the holidays are challenging and exploring strategies for coping can help individuals navigate this time more gently.

Why the Holidays Can Trigger Depression

For people struggling with depression, family dynamics can intensify difficult emotions. Childhood experiences, unresolved conflicts, or complicated relationships may resurface during gatherings. Holidays can also highlight losses—of loved ones, relationships, or even opportunities—triggering grief and nostalgia. The contrast between social media portrayals of “perfect” holidays and personal experiences can create feelings of inadequacy or isolation. Even positive interactions can be stressful when expectations clash with reality, or when social interaction feels overwhelming.

Recognizing Symptoms Around the Holidays

Depression during the holidays may manifest in various ways. Some individuals experience increased fatigue, difficulty sleeping, loss of appetite, or overeating. Emotional symptoms such as irritability, tearfulness, or persistent sadness may surface more acutely in family settings. Others may notice heightened anxiety about family gatherings, leading to avoidance or withdrawal. Recognizing these patterns early allows for proactive coping rather than reactive distress.

Strategies for Navigating Family Gatherings

Set Realistic Expectations: Accept that no family is perfect. Expecting flawless harmony can increase disappointment and anxiety. Recognize that small moments of connection, rather than grand gestures, are valuable.
Create Boundaries: Determine what you can realistically manage in terms of time, conversation topics, and participation in activities. It is okay to step away, leave early, or politely decline invitations when needed.
Plan Self-Care: Prioritize your emotional and physical needs. This may include scheduling quiet time, going for walks, practicing mindfulness, or engaging in comforting hobbies. Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential for managing depression.
Have a Support System: Connect with a friend, therapist, or support group who understands your struggles. Having someone to talk to during the season can provide relief, reassurance, and validation.
Prepare for Triggers: Family gatherings often bring up unresolved issues or old patterns. Identify potential triggers and rehearse coping strategies, such as deep breathing, grounding exercises, or redirecting conversations.
Limit Comparisons: Social media and holiday movies often portray unrealistic levels of joy and togetherness. Remind yourself that your experience is valid, even if it doesn’t match the “perfect holiday” narrative.
Practice Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and patience. Depression can intensify self-criticism, especially during social events. Acknowledge small victories, like attending a gathering or maintaining a healthy routine.

When to Seek Professional Help

If depression worsens during the holidays, interferes with daily functioning, or leads to thoughts of self-harm, reaching out to a mental health professional is crucial. Therapists can provide coping strategies tailored to family dynamics and offer support for navigating complex emotions. In severe cases, medication or other treatments may be appropriate to stabilize mood.

Looking Ahead

The holidays can be challenging, but they can also be an opportunity for growth, self-awareness, and building resilience. By acknowledging the impact of depression, setting boundaries, and practicing self-compassion, individuals can create a more manageable and meaningful holiday experience. Even small steps—like taking a few moments for yourself or connecting authentically with one supportive family member—can make a significant difference.

Conclusion

Depression during the holidays, especially around family, is a common but often hidden struggle. Recognizing triggers, managing expectations, and prioritizing self-care can help individuals navigate this season with greater ease. Remember, it is not necessary to feel joyful at all times—honoring your emotions and seeking support when needed is the most powerful gift you can give yourself. This holiday season, focusing on emotional well-being and compassionate connection, even in small doses, can make the difference between surviving the holidays and truly finding moments of peace amidst the challenges.

Nov

2022

Tips on getting through the holidays when it feels like to much

So the holidays are coming up, how exciting?

But also stressful and to some not exciting at all.

The holidays can elicit a range of emotions for many, even weeks leading up.

Most importantly for holiday stress:

Honor your feelings and practice self-love, kindness, boundaries and patience with you self. This sounds simple but can be extremely hard.

Here we have come up with some helpful mantras to help lower holiday stress:

Use the ones you feel drawn to

I will practice kindness

I will be patient with myself, friends and family

I will practice healthy boundaries

I will say no when I need to

I will let go of my expectations specially the very high ones

I will remember the meaning of the holiday, release society standards

I will show love to myself and those around me

I will take it one moment at a time

If I need space if I need distance I will honor that

I will be kind to myself each second of the day

I give myself permission to slow down when I need it

I will practice mindfulness

I will practice self love

We are all connected in this universe

I miss love ones and I will honor that

I will practice gratitude

I will honor my budget

If I need a boundary between family and friends I will practice it

I will give myself the gift of kindness today

Also check out these awesome mantras for holidays stress from https://www.tiffanynapper.com/blog/15-holiday-mantras

WHEN YOU ARE OVERWHELMED:

1. I have control over how I feel, and I choose to feel at peace.

2. I give myself permission to let go of what no longer serves me.

3. It will get done.

WHEN YOU ARE LONELY:

4. I can make space for loneliness and practice being kind to myself.

5. We are all connected after all.

6. Loneliness will always pass.

WHEN MONEY IS TIGHT:

7. I will always have enough.

8. Gratitude awakens the good in my life.

9. I give and receive with grace.

WHEN YOUR FAMILY STRESSES YOU OUT:

10. I open my heart and accept others as they are.

11. Stay present. Get grounded. I have nothing but love to give.

12. I choose uplifting encounters, and I have the power to remove myself from negative situations.

WHEN YOU ARE DOWN ON YOURSELF:

13. I am deserving and worthy of all good things.

14. I treat myself with love and respect.

15. I give myself permission to prioritize the things that bring me joy, creativity, and connection.

Feb

2022

Why So Many People are Not Merry and Bright Around the Holidays & it’s ok

Expectations, finances and sadness are high around the holidays for many and yet such a large group of people going through these emotions feel outcasted and misunderstood, making them feel more alone and disconnected. Let’s go through each aspect of turbulence that people may feel during the holidays.

Expectations: we are expected to be jolly, merry, bright and cheerful when truth be told we may hate our job, may be suffering from depression or still struggling to develop a self-love relationship with ourselves. December will not take away any struggles we have been dealing with for the other 11 months of the year and it is foolish to think otherwise. How are we expected to give so much to others at this time when we have not yet adequately discovered how to give to ourselves? Society is expecting our whole mindset to change in a snap and it is just not possible.

Finances: without being said, so much money is spent during this time, which first and foremost is bitter as it takes away from the point of the season: togetherness, love and appreciation. We chuck out big cash for emotional reward. Coming back to expectations, we spend all this money and put in so much effort to get someone a gift and we are returned with a simple” thank you” (or better yet to discover they returned it) …the emotional reward does not pair up to our mental effort, making us feel the effort was pointless and disappointing.

Sadness: accompanied by grief is common during the holidays. We reflect back on our childhood and are haunted by the fact that many of our loved ones are no longer here, making a time that was once special for us feel lonely and emotional. It may be difficult for us to appreciate the family and friends we do currently have in our life because we are a little extra focused on those who we no longer have at this time.

In case no one has told you: all these feelings and the 100 others you may be feeling right now are okay. I will repeat: these feelings you have are okay. Put a label and a name to your emotion, notice where it is rooted from. Rather than keep these thoughts to yourself, talk about these negative emotions because THAT is what will make you feel more connected to others at this time. You may assume the person on the other end will not “get” you, but you are likely to be surprised that they have similar feelings and having the conversation will draw you closer and more at peace: which is exactly what the holidays are meant to do for relationships to start with.

If you or a love one is having a difficult time around the holidays reach out to our staff today, we are honored to be apart of your journey. Psychotherapy and Counseling serving Westchester NY

Feb

2022

How to Survive the Holidays

The most wonderful time of the year is around the corner and everyone’s getting ready for another season of joy, togetherness, gifting, caroling, and tasty food. Yet, for a large number of people, this time of the year is also a source of a great stress, exhaustion, and sadness.

Studies show that only 10 percent of people in the U.S. report no stress during the holidays.Also, the holiday season may beexceptionallytough if you recently lost someonecloseand you are still grieving. All the hustle and bustle around the holidayscanincrease the feeling ofyourloss, making thesorrow and loneliness feel bottomless.

For all of you who struggle with the jolliness of the season, here are some effective ways to survive theholidays.

Holiday Stress

To lessenor avoid the stressthroughoutthe holidays,youneed to learn how to respond tooverwhelmingholidayhubbubin a composed and healthyway.So, let’sdelve onthemost effective ways tostay saneduring the holidayseason.

1. KeepOrganized

If you wanttolessentheholiday-related stress, try toavoid the last-minuteshopping. Rathermake a schedule aheadfor shopping, decorating, baking, gathering,and other holiday activities. This wayyou’ll cut your last-minute errandsthat causea lot ofstress during holidays.

2. PlanYour Budget

Things can easily get out of hand during the holidays. Each year,most of usendup spending a lot more thanweoriginally planned.So, make sure to plan your holiday budget andtostick to it.Also, if you’re struggling with the finances, don’t spendunreasonably. Forinstance, instead of buying expensive gifts, give something handmade and original.

3. Take Care of Yourself

Although the holiday season is usually asymbolfor familyget-togethers andfriend-reunions, try to devote sometimeto yourselfas well. Take a break from partying,excessive eating andgruelingtrips to the malls.

Dosomeyoga or practice mindfulness meditation instead.Read your favorite book and spend some lazy mornings in your bed.Also, this is a perfect time of the year to count your blessings and think ofyourNew Year’s resolutions. Start your days expressing gratitude for all those good things that have come your way.

Devoting time to yourselfduring the holidays will help renew your energyandhelp keepthe peaceful mind during the holidays.

Loss andGrief during the Holidays

If you recently lost a close person, your life has certainly changed, filling your days withthedevastating pain.Andtheholiday season can be particularly tough for those inamidst of thegrieving process. If you’re still grieving, it is totally normal that you feel the apathy and indifference towards the approaching holiday season.

However, here are some things you can do to ease the pain and survive the holidays.

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

The way you’ll cope with grief and loss during the holidays is only your business. Don’tfeel guilty if you cannot enjoy yourself.It is all right to tell people you just aren’t up to celebrations this year.

There is no right or wrong when it comes to mourning during the holiday season. For example, if you don’t feel like joiningthefamily or corporate celebrations this year,don’t want to sing carolsor you want to tune out the holiday season altogether,that’s only your choice. So, do whatever you feel like doingand give yourself time to grieve.

2. Reach Out for Support

Seek grief counseling. A professional bereavement counselor can help you accept your feelings and build a strategy for coping with emotional, cognitive, behavioral, and spiritual reaction to loss.

3. Externalize Your Loss

Talk about the deceased person. Joinagrief support group, online or in your community.Sharingyour feelings and thoughts with people who are going throughasimilar experience can be helpful.In addition, doingsmall things inthememory of a loved one such as creating a certain tribute during the holidays can also help in your grieving process.

4. Start a New Holiday Tradition

Starting a new tradition with your kids, family members or friendsdoesn’t mean that you have already forgotten a loved one. Doing something different will help you survive the holidays and boost the awareness that you need to moveon.Also, don’t feel guilty if you find joy during the holiday season. Enjoying the holidays doesn’t diminish how much you miss the person you lost.

5. Holiday Good Deeds

Consider helpingothersduringtheholidays.Think aboutjoining a local charity orvolunteeringin your community. Helping others will distract your grieving thoughts and give you something else to think about instead. Additionally, giving and sharing with others will boost your self-esteem; you’ll feel better knowing that you are doing something selfless during the holidays.

For many people, holidays can beastressfuland painfultime of the year.None of us can escape loss, butthesting ofbereavementcan be especiallypainfulduring the holidays. While youmay feel pressure to be happy during the holiday season, it’s totally fine if you don’t.

In the end, if you need support in overcoming stress or coping with grief during the holidays,reach out for support. We canwork on your feelings, boost your coping mechanismsduring the holidays, and help you get back on track.

Conclusion

Most importantly for holiday stress:

WHEN YOU ARE OVERWHELMED:

WHEN YOU ARE LONELY:

WHEN MONEY IS TIGHT:

WHEN YOUR FAMILY STRESSES YOU OUT:

WHEN YOU ARE DOWN ON YOURSELF:

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