It’s one of those moments that tugs at every parent’s heart: your 8-year-old comes home and quietly says, “Someone wasn’t nice to me on the playground.”
Even if the situation seems small, it matters deeply to your child. These moments are early opportunities to help them develop emotional resilience, empathy, and confidence in handling social challenges.
Here’s how to respond in a way that supports both their feelings and their growing social skills.
1. Start by Listening and Validating
Pause and give your child your full attention. Let them tell the story in their own words, without interrupting or jumping to solutions.
You might say:
“That sounds like it really bothered you.”
“I’m glad you told me.”
Validation helps children feel safe opening up — even about uncomfortable experiences.
2. Help Them Name Their Feelings
You can guide your child in identifying what they’re feeling:
“It sounds like you felt left out (or hurt, or mad) when that happened.”
Naming emotions helps kids process them, instead of holding them inside.
3. Explore What Happened — Gently
Ask open-ended questions to understand more:
“What did they say or do that wasn’t nice?”
“What did you do when that happened?”
Keep your tone curious, not judgmental. This helps your child feel supported rather than interrogated.
4. Teach Problem-Solving Skills
Once your child feels heard, help them think through options for next time:
“What could you say if that happens again?”
“Who could you play with that makes you feel good?”
“Would you like me to talk to your teacher about it?”
This empowers them to develop confidence and social problem-solving skills.
5. Model Empathy and Perspective
You can validate your child while also helping them understand others’ behavior:
“It’s not okay for someone to be unkind, but sometimes kids act that way when they’re having a hard day.”
This encourages compassion — without excusing hurtful behavior.
6. Follow Up Later
A few days later, check in:
“How are things going on the playground now?”
These follow-ups remind your child that their feelings matter to you, and that they can always come to you for help.
When to Step In
If the situation continues or your child seems increasingly anxious or withdrawn, it’s important to communicate with the teacher or school counselor. Sometimes children need adult intervention to feel safe and supported.
Final Thoughts
Conflict and unkindness are part of every child’s social world — but they don’t have to be overwhelming. When parents respond with empathy and guidance, children learn how to handle tough moments, repair relationships, and build emotional resilience that lasts a lifetime.
