The Healing Power of Forgiveness: A Therapist’s Perspective on Ho’oponopono

Forgiveness can be one of the most powerful, transformative acts on the journey to healing and self-acceptance. As a therapist, I’ve seen the profound effect that forgiving others—and ourselves—can have on mental, emotional, and even physical health. Yet forgiveness can feel like a challenging, even overwhelming task. Often, clients express that they are unsure where to begin or fear that forgiving may mean condoning hurtful actions.

In many therapeutic approaches, forgiveness is recognized as a tool for reclaiming peace, releasing negative attachments, and building resilience. One traditional practice that embodies this idea beautifully is Ho’oponopono, a Hawaiian spiritual tradition of reconciliation and forgiveness. It offers a gentle, powerful framework for letting go, and it serves as a beautiful addition to any healing journey.

Ho’oponopono: A Path to Reconciliation and Freedom

The Hawaiian word Ho’oponopono means “to make things right” or “to move things back to balance.” In its original form, Ho’oponopono was used within families and communities as a way to restore harmony, often with a leader guiding the process. However, the phrase most associated with modern Ho’oponopono, “I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you,” is now used as a personal, meditative practice for self-forgiveness, healing, and acceptance.

These four statements may appear simple, but the healing lies in their repetition and in truly allowing yourself to connect with each phrase. When practiced regularly, Ho’oponopono can help open the heart to self-compassion and release long-held grievances and self-judgments.

Here’s a closer look at the powerful meaning behind each of the four phrases in this practice:

“I’m sorry.”

This phrase acknowledges the pain or harm, whether you caused it, endured it, or just held onto it in your heart. Saying “I’m sorry” in this context is not about blame or guilt; rather, it’s an invitation to recognize the weight of the unresolved hurt and to begin releasing it. It’s a way of accepting what has happened without judgment.

“Please forgive me.”

Forgiveness is often more about liberation than absolution. When we ask for forgiveness, whether from ourselves or someone else, we are granting ourselves permission to step beyond the pain. Asking “please forgive me” is a way of acknowledging our humanity, our imperfections, and our desire to heal and move forward.

“Thank you.”

Gratitude, especially in challenging times, can feel counterintuitive but is transformative. “Thank you” here can be directed toward yourself, toward the process, or toward life itself. This phrase allows you to appreciate the journey and the growth that forgiveness brings, even when it's difficult.

“I love you.”

In Ho’oponopono, “I love you” is not necessarily directed at someone else; instead, it is often an affirmation of love toward oneself, the world, and life. Saying “I love you” reconnects us with compassion, reminding us that at the core of forgiveness is a return to love, both for others and for ourselves.

The Therapeutic Power of Forgiveness

In therapy, forgiveness work is a delicate and nuanced process. Forgiveness does not mean excusing behavior or dismissing pain. Instead, it’s about releasing the hold that the hurt has on us. Research has shown that practicing forgiveness, both toward others and oneself, can reduce stress, lower anxiety, and improve overall mental well-being. Letting go of resentments allows us to reclaim emotional energy, enhances our sense of freedom, and helps us build healthier, more resilient relationships.

I often encourage clients to practice Ho’oponopono as a grounding exercise in our sessions. When clients experience strong feelings of guilt, shame, or anger, this practice can act as a gentle anchor. Its repetitive, ritualistic nature is grounding, encouraging a gradual shift from judgment and resistance to acceptance and love.

How to Integrate Ho’oponopono into Your Daily Life

If you’d like to try this practice, consider setting aside a quiet space where you can reflect without interruptions. Close your eyes, breathe deeply, and say each phrase with intention: “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.” You might direct these words toward a specific person or toward yourself. Remember, this practice doesn’t demand immediate results. With regular practice, though, it can offer deep relief, clarity, and a renewed sense of peace.

Forgiveness is an ongoing journey, not a one-time event. Ho’oponopono reminds us that forgiveness starts within, as we learn to let go of past hurts, release judgment, and make space for growth and healing. Through “I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you,” we are invited to make peace with the past, ground ourselves in the present, and open our hearts to the future with compassion and resilience.

 

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D

Embracing Journaling

In the midst of life's chaos, there's something profoundly comforting about the act of journaling. It's like having a conversation with yourself, a moment of reflection and release in a world that's constantly moving.

As a therapist, I've seen firsthand how journaling can be a powerful tool for self-exploration and healing. It's a space where we can unravel our thoughts, untangle our emotions, and make sense of the whirlwind inside our minds.

But perhaps the most beautiful aspect of journaling is its ability to capture our journey over time. Flipping through old journal entries is like revisiting chapters of our lives, seeing how far we've come, and recognizing the strength and resilience that carried us through.

Our therapists at New Day Vitality believe in the transformative power of journaling. Some of our clinicians have curated a collection of journals that celebrate the beauty of self-expression. Each journal has photos from our travels and journal prompts on the covers inviting you to embark on a journey of introspection and discovery.

If you're looking for a way to reconnect with yourself and honor your own story, we invite you to explore our collection. Click here to learn more about how journaling can be a source of solace, clarity, and growth on your path to healing.

Be well, be safe, be easy ⭐️

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D

A Dog’s-Eye View: The Silent Witness to Our Life’s Journey

Imagine for a moment the world through the eyes of your dog. For 15 years, this loyal companion has followed you through the highs and lows, the monumental changes and the quiet moments of stillness. As we navigate the twists and turns of life, it’s easy to overlook the fact that our pets—especially those who’ve been with us for many years—have seen it all. They’ve been there, often in the background, as our lives have evolved in ways we couldn’t have imagined.

This blog post was inspired by a reflection shared by a family member about their 15-year-old dog, who is now in its final years. The journey of this dog, and indeed any pet that has lived a long life by our side, is a testament to the unique bond we share with our furry friends.

A Silent Observer to Our Life’s Milestones

Consider the journey this dog has taken: it began on one coast, where its owner was dating someone and starting a new chapter with a cross-country move. The dog made the trip, adjusting to a new environment, new people, and new routines. Over time, the owner’s life changed—relationships ended and began anew. The dog integrated into these evolving circumstances, forming bonds with new partners, their dogs, and eventually, the children that came along.

This dog has witnessed so many versions of its owner—each new phase of life bringing its own set of challenges and joys. It was there for the big moments—the excitement of a new job, the heartache of a relationship ending, the joy of starting a family. But it was also there for the small moments—the daily walks, the quiet nights at home, the comforting presence on days when things felt overwhelming.

The Unassuming Constant in a Changing World

In a world where everything is in constant flux, our pets offer a rare and precious constancy. They don’t care about our career successes, the size of our house, or the number of friends we have. They care about being with us, about the simple act of presence. This dog, now in its twilight years, has been a steadfast companion through every twist and turn. It has offered support in unassuming ways—by simply being there, by offering comfort without needing words.

As we look back on the chapters of our lives, it’s easy to see the people who were there, the milestones we achieved, the challenges we overcame. But how often do we reflect on the perspective of our pets? They’ve been by our side, seeing the world change around them, adapting to new circumstances, all while remaining a constant source of love and companionship.

The Special Bond We Share

There’s something incredibly special about sharing your life with a pet that has been with you for so many years. It’s not just about the memories you’ve made together—it’s about the way they’ve quietly supported you through the changes, the way they’ve been a part of your journey.

For those of us fortunate enough to have had a pet by our side for 15 years or more, the bond we share with them is something words can hardly capture. It’s a bond built on trust, loyalty, and the countless little moments that make up a life. And as we watch our pets age, as we prepare for the inevitable goodbyes, we can take comfort in knowing that they’ve lived a full life with us—a life full of love, adventure, and a deep, unspoken connection.

A Tribute to Our Lifelong Companions

So, as you navigate the complexities of life, take a moment to appreciate the view from your dog’s perspective. Recognize the role they’ve played in your story, and cherish the unique bond you share. Our pets may not be with us forever, but the impact they have on our lives is lasting. They’ve been there, silently observing, offering comfort, and sharing in the joys and sorrows of our journey. And for that, they deserve our deepest gratitude.

To all the dogs and pets who have been our steadfast companions through the years—thank you. Your love and loyalty have made our lives richer, and the memories we’ve created together will stay with us always.

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D

The Healing Power of Reiki: Complementing Talk Therapy for Holistic Wellness

In recent years, there has been growing interest in holistic healing practices that address not just the mind but also the body and spirit. Among these practices, Reiki has emerged as a powerful and gentle healing modality that can beautifully complement traditional talk therapy. As mental health professionals seek to provide more comprehensive care, integrating Reiki with therapeutic approaches offers a unique path to healing that honors the whole person.

Understanding Reiki Healing

Reiki is a form of energy healing that originated in Japan in the early 20th century. The word "Reiki" translates to "universal life energy," and the practice is based on the belief that this energy flows through all living beings. A Reiki practitioner channels this energy through their hands, which are either lightly placed on or just above the client’s body. The goal is to promote balance, relaxation, and healing on physical, emotional, and spiritual levels.

One of the most compelling aspects of Reiki is its simplicity and non-invasiveness. There are no tools or substances involved, and the recipient remains fully clothed throughout the session. The practitioner’s role is to serve as a conduit for healing energy, allowing the body to heal itself by restoring energetic balance.

The Benefits of Reiki Healing

Reiki offers a range of benefits that can enhance overall well-being:

1. Stress Reduction and Relaxation: One of the most immediate effects of Reiki is deep relaxation. As stress melts away, the body can enter a state of rest and repair, which is essential for healing.

2. Emotional Release: Reiki can help release emotional blockages and bring suppressed feelings to the surface. This gentle release allows individuals to process emotions that may have been hindering their mental and physical health.

3. Physical Healing: While Reiki is not a substitute for medical treatment, many people report relief from pain, improved sleep, and faster recovery from illness or injury after sessions.

4. Enhanced Self-Awareness: Reiki encourages a deeper connection with oneself. As clients become more in tune with their bodies and emotions, they often gain clarity about their life path and personal challenges.

5. Spiritual Growth: For those open to it, Reiki can be a profound spiritual experience. It fosters a sense of inner peace and connectedness to something greater than oneself.

Pairing Reiki with Talk Therapy: A Holistic Approach

Integrating Reiki with talk therapy offers a powerful approach to healing that addresses the whole person—mind, body, and spirit. Here’s how the two modalities can complement each other:

1. Deepening Emotional Work: Talk therapy is instrumental in helping clients understand and articulate their feelings, but sometimes words alone aren’t enough. Reiki can facilitate the release of deep-seated emotions that may be difficult to access verbally. By creating a safe space for these emotions to surface, Reiki can enhance the therapeutic process.

2. Reducing Therapy Resistance: Clients who are anxious, stressed, or resistant to therapy may find it challenging to engage fully in the process. Reiki’s calming effects can help reduce this resistance, making it easier for clients to open up and participate in talk therapy.

3. Enhancing Mind-Body Connection: Talk therapy primarily engages the mind, while Reiki works with the body’s energy. Together, they foster a stronger mind-body connection, which is crucial for holistic healing. This integration can help clients gain insights not just intellectually but also on a visceral level.

4. Supporting Trauma Healing: For clients dealing with trauma, Reiki can provide a gentle, non-verbal way to release trauma stored in the body. When used alongside trauma-informed therapy approaches like EMDR or somatic experiencing, Reiki can support the healing of both emotional and physical trauma.

5. Sustaining Therapeutic Gains: The benefits of talk therapy can be amplified and sustained through regular Reiki sessions. As clients continue to work through their issues in therapy, Reiki helps maintain the emotional balance and calmness necessary for ongoing growth and healing.

Reiki and talk therapy, when used together, offer a comprehensive approach to healing that honors all aspects of a person’s being. By integrating the energetic healing of Reiki with the introspective work of talk therapy, clients can experience profound transformation. Whether you’re a therapist looking to broaden your practice or someone seeking a holistic path to wellness, the combination of Reiki and talk therapy holds the potential to bring about deep, lasting change.

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D

The Power of Surrounding Yourself with Friends Dedicated to Self-Growth

The Power of Surrounding Yourself with Friends Dedicated to Self-Growth In my role as a therapist, I've had the privilege of witnessing individuals as they navigate the intricacies of self-discovery and personal development. Through my experiences, one recurring theme stands out: the profound impact that surrounding oneself with friends dedicated to working on themselves can have on one's own growth and well-being.

Human beings are inherently social creatures, and the relationships we cultivate play a significant role in shaping our thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors. When we surround ourselves with friends who are committed to their own self-improvement journey, we create an environment that fosters growth, introspection, and accountability.

But what exactly does it mean to have friends who are dedicated to working on themselves? It goes beyond simply having companions who attend yoga classes or read self-help books occasionally. Rather, it entails forming connections with individuals who actively prioritize their mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being on a consistent basis.

Here are some ways in which surrounding yourself with such friends can positively impact your own journey of self-growth: Inspiration and Motivation: Being around friends who are actively engaged in their own personal development can be incredibly inspiring. Their commitment to growth can serve as a powerful motivator, encouraging you to embark on your own journey of self-discovery and improvement.

Support and Understanding: Friends who are dedicated to working on themselves are more likely to understand the challenges and obstacles you may encounter along the way. They can offer invaluable support, empathy, and encouragement as you navigate the ups and downs of personal growth.

Healthy Boundaries and Communication: Relationships built on a foundation of mutual respect and growth tend to be characterized by healthy boundaries and effective communication. Surrounding yourself with friends who prioritize self-awareness and introspection can help cultivate these essential interpersonal skills, leading to more fulfilling and authentic connections.

Accountability and Feedback: When you surround yourself with friends who are committed to their own growth, you naturally hold each other accountable for continued progress. Constructive feedback and honest conversations become opportunities for learning and growth rather than sources of conflict or tension.

Expanding Perspectives: Engaging with friends who have diverse backgrounds, experiences, and perspectives can broaden your own outlook on life and challenge your existing beliefs and assumptions. This exposure to new ideas and ways of thinking can be instrumental in your personal evolution and self-expansion.

In essence, the company we keep profoundly influences our personal development journey. By intentionally surrounding ourselves with friends who are dedicated to working on themselves, we create a supportive ecosystem that nurtures growth, resilience, and authenticity.

Of course, cultivating such friendships requires effort and intentionality. It involves seeking out individuals who share similar values and aspirations, as well as being willing to invest time and energy into nurturing these relationships.

As you embark on your journey of self-discovery and growth, remember the power of surrounding yourself with friends who are dedicated to doing the same. Together, you can create a ripple effect of positive change that extends far beyond the confines of your individual lives, shaping a brighter and more fulfilling future for yourselves and those around you.

Posted by Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D