Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D

 

Let’s be real—motherhood is beautiful, but it’s also messy, exhausting, and sometimes downright overwhelming. Between juggling kids, work, relationships, and a never-ending to-do list, the idea of balance can feel like a myth. And self-love? That can get lost somewhere between wiping noses and answering emails.

But here’s the truth: You matter. Not just as a mom, but as a whole person. And while perfect balance may not exist, finding a version of it that works for you is possible. Let’s talk about what that really looks like—no sugarcoating, no guilt, just real, honest conversation.

Balance Isn’t 50/50—And That’s Okay

We’ve been sold this idea that balance means giving equal attention to everything—work, kids, partner, house, self-care, social life. Spoiler alert: That’s impossible. Some days, your career will demand more. Other days, your kids will need all of you. And some days? You just need a break.

Balance isn’t about doing everything perfectly—it’s about shifting your energy where it’s needed most without losing yourself in the process. The key is to stop striving for perfection and start giving yourself permission to let some things go. The laundry can wait. The dishes won’t crumble if they sit in the sink. Your mental health? That’s non-negotiable.

Mom Guilt Is a Liar—Don’t Listen to It

Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt guilty for taking time for yourself. Yep, me too. Society has trained us to believe that being a “good mom” means sacrificing everything. But let’s flip that script: A burnt-out, exhausted, resentful mom is NOT a better mom.

Taking time for yourself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. Whether it’s 10 minutes of deep breathing in the bathroom (because sometimes that’s all you get), a solo coffee run, or a full-on weekend away, self-care isn’t a luxury—it’s survival. Your kids need a mom who is happy, healthy, and whole, not one running on fumes.

Self-Love Isn’t Just Bubble Baths—It’s Boundaries

Self-love gets packaged as spa days and face masks, but real self-love is deeper than that. It’s setting boundaries with people who drain you. It’s saying no to things that don’t serve you. It’s refusing to compare yourself to the “perfect moms” on Instagram (because, let’s be real, they’re only showing the highlight reel).

Loving yourself means speaking kindly to yourself. It means forgiving yourself for the moments you lose your patience. It means recognizing that your worth isn’t measured by how clean your house is or how Pinterest-worthy your kids’ lunches look.

Keeping It Real: What Works for YOU?

At the end of the day, no one has this all figured out. We’re all just doing the best we can. Some days, we feel like supermoms; other days, we hide in the bathroom just to get a moment of peace. And that’s okay.

The goal isn’t to be perfect—it’s to be real. Find what works for you, not what works for the mom next door. Maybe that’s waking up early for quiet time. Maybe it’s dancing in the kitchen with your kids instead of stressing over the mess. Maybe it’s scheduling therapy, joining a moms’ group, or simply reminding yourself daily: I am enough.

Because guess what? You are. Even on the hard days. Even when you don’t feel like it. You are doing an incredible job.

So let’s drop the guilt, embrace the chaos, and make room for ourselves in our own lives. You deserve that much.

Real moms, real talk—how do you find balance?

 

 

Happiness isn’t just about fleeting moments of joy—it’s a way of life that comes from within. While external circumstances can influence our mood, true and lasting happiness is cultivated through daily habits, mindset shifts, and intentional choices. Here are six key principles to help you live a happy, fulfilling life.

1. Cultivate Gratitude

Gratitude shifts your focus from what’s missing to what’s already present. Research shows that people who practice gratitude regularly experience increased happiness, improved relationships, and reduced stress. Start a gratitude journal, take a moment each day to appreciate small joys, or express appreciation to others.

2. Nurture Meaningful Relationships

Human connection is one of the strongest predictors of happiness. Surround yourself with supportive, positive people who uplift you. Invest in deep, meaningful relationships rather than seeking validation from superficial connections. Prioritize quality time with family and friends, and don’t be afraid to set boundaries with toxic individuals.

3. Prioritize Your Mental and Physical Health

A healthy body and mind lay the foundation for a happy life. Regular exercise releases endorphins, the brain’s natural mood boosters. Nutritious eating fuels both your body and mind, while quality sleep restores your energy. Additionally, mindfulness practices such as meditation, deep breathing, or therapy can help manage stress and cultivate inner peace.

4. Live with Purpose

A sense of purpose gives life meaning. Whether it’s your career, a hobby, or helping others, find something that fulfills you. Align your daily actions with your values and passions. Even small acts, like volunteering or pursuing a creative passion, can provide a sense of fulfillment.

5. Practice Self-Compassion

Many people are their own harshest critics, but self-criticism only leads to stress and unhappiness. Learn to treat yourself with kindness, just as you would a friend. Accept that mistakes and setbacks are part of life and growth. Embrace imperfection and recognize your worth.

6. Live in the Present

Happiness thrives in the present moment. Worrying about the future or dwelling on the past robs you of joy. Practice mindfulness—engage fully in what you’re doing, whether it’s savoring a meal, enjoying nature, or having a heartfelt conversation. Let go of unnecessary stress and embrace the beauty of now.

Final Thoughts

Living a happy life is an ongoing journey, not a destination. By incorporating these principles into your daily life, you can cultivate a sense of joy, fulfillment, and inner peace. Start small, be patient with yourself, and remember—happiness is a choice you can make every day.

Looking for more wellness tips? Stay connected for more insights on living your best life!

 

 

In today’s fast-paced world, achieving total wellness is more than just a trend—it’s a necessity. As psychotherapists in Larchmont, New York, we see firsthand how stress, anxiety, and emotional struggles impact not just mental health but also physical well-being. True wellness is about balance—aligning your mental, emotional, and physical health to create a fulfilling life.

What Is Total Wellness?

Total wellness is a holistic approach that integrates multiple aspects of health, including:

•Mental Health – Managing stress, anxiety, and depression through therapy and mindfulness.

•Emotional Well-Being – Building resilience, self-awareness, and emotional regulation.

•Physical Health – Incorporating nutrition, exercise, and sleep to support mental clarity.

•Social Connections – Developing strong relationships for emotional support.

•Spiritual Growth – Finding meaning and purpose in life, whether through religion, meditation, or personal values.

At our Larchmont private practice, we help clients navigate these areas, ensuring that they achieve true balance.

The Mind-Body Connection

Psychological well-being is deeply intertwined with physical health. Studies show that chronic stress and anxiety can lead to:

•High blood pressure

•Weakened immune function

•Digestive issues

•Sleep disturbances

On the other hand, engaging in regular exercise, proper nutrition, and relaxation techniques like yoga and meditation can significantly improve mental health. That’s why we encourage our clients to view therapy as part of a whole-body wellness approach.

How Therapy Supports Total Wellness

Seeing a licensed psychotherapist in Larchmont can be a game-changer for those struggling with emotional and mental health challenges. Therapy provides:

•A safe space to explore thoughts and feelings

•Coping strategies for anxiety, depression, and stress

•Guidance on work-life balance and self-care

•Support in building healthy relationships

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, psychotherapy can help you regain control and develop a stronger foundation for overall well-being.

Small Steps Toward a Healthier Life

Achieving total wellness doesn’t happen overnight. Here are a few simple yet effective ways to start:

1.Prioritize Mental Health – Regularly check in with yourself and consider speaking to a therapist in Larchmont if needed.

2.Move Your Body – Physical activity releases endorphins, which naturally boost mood.

3.Practice Mindfulness – Deep breathing, meditation, or simply being present can reduce stress.

4.Eat Nourishing Foods – A healthy diet supports both the body and mind.

5.Get Enough Sleep – Quality rest is essential for emotional regulation and mental clarity.

Seeking Professional Support

If you’re looking to enhance your overall well-being, consider working with a psychotherapist in Larchmont, NY who understands the importance of a holistic approach. Whether you’re struggling with stress, anxiety, depression, or relationship challenges, therapy can be a powerful tool to help you regain balance.

At our Larchmont private practice, we specialize in helping individuals achieve total wellness through personalized, compassionate therapy. Contact us today to take the first step toward a healthier, more fulfilling life.

 

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Health anxiety, also known as illness anxiety disorder, can be overwhelming. It often leads to excessive worry about potential illnesses, frequent doctor visits, and constant checking of symptoms. While seeking medical advice is important when necessary, excessive worry about health can negatively impact daily life. Fortunately, there are exercises that can help manage and reduce health anxiety. Below are 10 effective strategies to regain control over your thoughts and emotions.

1. Deep Breathing Exercises

When health anxiety strikes, it often triggers a fight-or-flight response, leading to rapid heartbeat, shallow breathing, and increased stress. Deep breathing exercises can help calm the nervous system. Try this:

•Inhale deeply through your nose for four seconds.

•Hold your breath for four seconds.

•Exhale slowly through your mouth for six seconds.

•Repeat for a few minutes to lower anxiety levels.

2. Mindfulness Meditation

Mindfulness helps you stay in the present rather than worrying about the future. To practice mindfulness:

•Sit in a quiet place and close your eyes.

•Focus on your breath, bodily sensations, or sounds around you.

•When anxious thoughts arise, acknowledge them without judgment and gently bring your focus back to your breath.

Practicing mindfulness regularly can train your mind to manage anxious thoughts more effectively.

3. Journaling Your Thoughts

Writing down your worries can help you see patterns in your anxiety and rationalize your fears. When you feel anxious about your health, try this approach:

•Write down your specific worry.

•Ask yourself, “What evidence supports this fear?”

•Challenge your thoughts by considering alternative explanations.

Journaling helps put your fears into perspective and reduces catastrophic thinking.

4. Limiting Health-Related Googling

Constantly searching for symptoms online can increase anxiety rather than ease it. If you find yourself checking symptoms frequently, try these steps:

•Set a specific “Google-free” time each day.

•Replace the urge to Google with a healthier activity, such as reading or exercising.

•Remind yourself that online information is often misleading or worst-case scenarios.

5. Exposure Therapy to Reduce Checking Behaviors

Many people with health anxiety frequently check their body for new symptoms. To break this habit:

•Gradually reduce how often you check (e.g., from 10 times a day to 5, then to 3, etc.).

•Set specific times for checking instead of doing it impulsively.

•Remind yourself that not every bodily sensation signals a serious illness.

Over time, resisting the urge to check can reduce anxiety.

6. Practicing Gratitude and Positive Affirmations

Focusing on what is going well in your life can shift your mindset away from fear. Each day, write down three things you are grateful for, such as:

•“I am grateful for my body’s ability to heal.”

•“I appreciate my overall well-being today.”

•“I trust my body to take care of me.”

Affirmations like these can rewire negative thought patterns over time.

7. Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR)

Tension in the body can increase feelings of anxiety. PMR helps relax the body and mind:

•Start by tensing one muscle group (e.g., fists) for 5 seconds, then release.

•Move through different muscle groups (arms, shoulders, legs) until your whole body feels relaxed.

This exercise helps reduce the physical symptoms of anxiety, making you feel calmer.

8. Setting Time Limits on Worry

Instead of letting health worries consume your day, set a “worry window.”

•Choose a 10-minute time slot each day to focus on your health concerns.

•During this time, write down worries but don’t try to solve them.

•When the time is up, shift your focus to other activities.

This strategy helps contain anxiety rather than letting it take over your mind all day.

9. Engaging in Physical Activity

Exercise is a powerful way to reduce anxiety. Activities like walking, yoga, or strength training release endorphins, which naturally boost mood and reduce stress. Even 20–30 minutes of movement per day can:

•Improve sleep quality.

•Reduce muscle tension caused by anxiety.

•Shift focus away from health worries.

10. Seeking Professional Help When Needed

If health anxiety is significantly affecting your daily life, seeking therapy can be highly beneficial. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for managing health anxiety, as it helps challenge irrational fears and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

Final Thoughts

Health anxiety can feel overwhelming, but with the right tools and strategies, it is possible to regain control. These exercises can help shift your focus, reduce worry, and improve your overall mental well-being. Be patient with yourself—progress takes time. If anxiety becomes too difficult to manage alone, don’t hesitate to seek professional support. Taking proactive steps today can lead to a calmer, healthier mind in the future.

 

In a world that constantly demands our attention, slowing down and practicing mindfulness has never been more important. With endless notifications, packed schedules, and high expectations, many people find themselves feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and disconnected. As a New York psychotherapist, I have seen firsthand how practicing mindfulness can transform mental health, reduce stress, and improve overall well-being.

What is Mindfulness?

Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present in the moment, without judgment. It involves tuning into your thoughts, emotions, and surroundings rather than getting caught up in the past or future. Through mindfulness, individuals can develop greater self-awareness, emotional regulation, and inner peace.

Why Slowing Down is Essential for Mental Health

Living in a fast-paced environment—especially in a city like New York—can contribute to stress, anxiety, and burnout. The pressure to be constantly productive can make it difficult to appreciate life’s simple moments. By intentionally slowing down, you allow your mind and body to reset, reducing the negative effects of chronic stress.

The Benefits of Mindfulness and Slowing Down

•Reduces Anxiety and Stress: Mindfulness lowers cortisol levels, the hormone responsible for stress, helping you feel calmer and more balanced.

•Enhances Focus and Productivity: By training your brain to stay present, mindfulness improves concentration and decision-making.

•Strengthens Emotional Well-Being: Being mindful fosters self-compassion and reduces negative thinking patterns.

•Improves Sleep: Slowing down before bed through mindfulness exercises can lead to better sleep quality.

•Boosts Relationships: Being present in conversations enhances communication and emotional connections.

5 Practical Ways to Slow Down and Practice Mindfulness

1. Start Your Day with a Mindful Morning Routine

Instead of reaching for your phone first thing in the morning, take a few moments to breathe deeply, stretch, or journal. Setting an intentional morning routine helps you start the day with clarity and focus.

2. Practice Mindful Breathing

Whenever you feel overwhelmed, pause and take slow, deep breaths. A simple exercise is the 4-7-8 breathing technique:

•Inhale for four seconds

•Hold for seven seconds

•Exhale for eight seconds

This technique activates the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting relaxation.

3. Incorporate Mindfulness into Daily Activities

Mindfulness doesn’t have to be limited to meditation. Try practicing mindful eating, walking, or even working. Pay attention to sensations, sounds, and textures, fully immersing yourself in the present moment.

4. Take Digital Breaks

Constant notifications and screen time can overwhelm the mind. Set aside time each day to disconnect from technology. Try the “20-20-20 rule”: Every 20 minutes, look away from your screen for 20 seconds and focus on something 20 feet away to give your brain a break.

5. Engage in Guided Meditation or Therapy

For those struggling with stress, anxiety, or burnout, guided mindfulness meditation or working with a New York psychotherapist can be incredibly beneficial. Therapy can help you develop personalized strategies to integrate mindfulness into your daily life.

Final Thoughts

In today’s world, where stress and anxiety are common challenges, slowing down and practicing mindfulness is essential for maintaining mental well-being. By incorporating mindfulness techniques into your daily routine, you can experience greater peace, clarity, and emotional balance.

If you are looking for mindfulness-based therapy in New York, working with a licensed psychotherapist can help you develop effective tools to manage stress and live more intentionally. Start your mindfulness journey today—your mind and body will thank you.