Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D

Dec

2025

Finish the Year Soft, Not Hard: A Mental Health Reset We All Need

There’s a moment every December when the world starts buzzing louder than our own minds. The pressure rises. The expectations pile up. The “shoulds” multiply. Finish strong. Do more. Push through. Make it count. It’s the unspoken rule we’ve all absorbed—end the year with a bang, or somehow you’ve fallen short.

But what if that’s the lie that’s been burning us out?

What if the healthiest, bravest, most grounded way to end the year… is softly?

Soft doesn’t mean weak. Soft doesn’t mean unmotivated. Soft doesn’t mean giving up.

Soft is intentional. Soft is aligned. Soft is steady.

Soft is choosing peace over pressure.

Soft is choosing presence over perfection.

And maybe—just maybe—soft is the thing your nervous system has been begging for.

The Myth of the “Strong Finish”

We’re conditioned to believe the end of the year is a performance review. A test of how hard we can push and how much we can squeeze in before the calendar flips.

But so many people quietly break in December. Silent burnout. Emotional exhaustion. Mental fatigue that gets dismissed as “holiday stress.”

The truth is:

You don’t need to earn your rest.

You don’t need to justify your capacity.

You don’t need to finish the year with a dramatic rewrite of your life.

You just need to finish connected—to yourself, your needs, and your boundaries.

Finishing Soft Means Slowing Down to Listen

Finishing the year soft is about tuning back into the body that’s been talking to you all year long.

The sighs.

The tension in your shoulders.

The heaviness in your chest.

The irritability that shows up when you’ve ignored yourself too long.

Most of us don’t need more discipline—we need gentleness.

Most of us don’t need more goals—we need space.

Most of us don’t need a bigger push—we need permission to stop pushing.

Softness is what lets your system reset.

Soft Looks Like This:

Saying “no” when your body says “please… not another thing.”
Stepping away from obligations that drain you instead of expand you.
Letting the house be a little messy because your peace matters more.
Choosing rest even when productivity guilt whispers otherwise.
Giving yourself time without feeling like you should be using it “better.”

Soft is the antidote to the hustle that leaves us numb.

Your Worth Isn’t Measured by How Hard You End the Year

You don’t need a transformation. You don’t need a final push. You don’t need to reinvent yourself in the last 31 days of the year.

You just need to come home to yourself.

Because the truth is, nothing magical happens at midnight on December 31st—except the quiet realization that you’re allowed to choose a different story for yourself.

One that honors the human you are, not the machine you’ve tried to become.

Soft Is Sustainable

Hard finishes lead to burnout.

Soft finishes lead to clarity.

When you end the year gently, you make room for the new one to actually feel new—not like another race you’re already behind in.

Soft is sustainable.

Soft is restorative.

Soft is what allows you to begin again with presence instead of pressure.

You Are Allowed to Ease Into the New Year

Imagine this:

Instead of dragging yourself into January depleted, you glide into it with steadiness.

Instead of collapsing into rest because you have no choice, you choose it before you break.

Instead of feeling behind before the year even starts, you enter feeling aligned.

That is the power of finishing soft.

Let the world finish hard if it wants to.

You don’t have to participate in the performance of exhaustion.

Here’s Your Permission Slip:

You are allowed to finish the year:

Quietly
Slowly
Softly
Gently
Intentionally
With boundaries
With rest
With grace for who you’ve been this year
And compassion for who you’re becoming

Soft doesn’t mean small.

Soft means safe.

Soft means supported.

Soft means self-aware.

Finishing the year soft is not giving up—it’s giving your mind, body, and heart exactly what they need to carry you into the next chapter whole.

So this December, don’t push harder.

Pull inward.

Get quieter.

Let go.

Exhale.

Unclench.

And choose softness as an act of strength.

Your mental health will thank you—this year, and all the years after.

Nov

2025

When Your Brain Won’t Stop: Living With OCD, Medical Fears, and the Anxiety Spiral

There’s a version of anxiety that people don’t talk about enough—the kind that lives in your body, whispers worst-case scenarios in your ear, and convinces you that every sensation means something catastrophic. For many people, this isn’t just worry. This is OCD with medical fears, also known as health-focused OCD or “somatic OCD.” And it is exhausting.

Let’s be honest: this type of fear isn’t dramatic on the outside. You’re not running around screaming. You’re quiet. You’re hyper-aware. You’re Googling symptoms at 1 a.m. You’re feeling your heartbeat too often. You’re asking for reassurance, then feeling guilty for asking. You’re trying to be rational but your mind keeps looping:

“What if I missed something?”

“What if this is the one time something really is wrong?”

“What if I don’t catch it in time?”

This isn’t just anxiety. It’s a mental tug-of-war with your own body, and it can feel like you’re fighting a battle no one sees.

What Health-Focused OCD Really Looks Like

People picture OCD as cleaning, organizing, or constant checking. But for many, OCD looks like:

Scanning your body all day for sensations
Interpreting every feeling as danger (a twitch means a neurological disorder, stomach discomfort must be something serious)
Googling symptoms endlessly
Avoiding doctors out of fear
Seeing multiple doctors out of fear
Compulsively checking—your pulse, your breathing, your skin, your throat
Repeated reassurance-seeking from friends, family, or the internet
Catastrophic spiraling from one tiny sensation
Feeling relief for a moment… until the next symptom shows up

What makes OCD especially painful is that your logic and your fear both live in the same body. You can know something is irrational and still feel terrified. That tension is part of the disorder—not a personal failure.

Why Medical Fears Hit So Hard

The truth is, OCD loves certainty. And the human body provides none.

It changes every day—little aches, random sensations, hormones, tight muscles, stress spikes, digestive weirdness. Most people shrug these off. But someone with health-related OCD interprets them as clues, warnings, or evidence that something is wrong.

It’s not about being dramatic. It’s not about wanting attention.

It’s about your brain misfiring around threat detection. Your mind is trying to keep you alive… but it’s stuck in overdrive.

And because health is such a vulnerable, personal topic, the fear hits deep.

The Shame No One Talks About

Health anxiety comes with a quiet kind of shame:

“Why can’t I just stop thinking about this?”
“Why does my brain do this?”
“Why can’t I trust myself?”
“Why do I ruin every peaceful moment by scanning my symptoms?”

Here’s the truth: nothing is wrong with you.

OCD latches onto whatever matters most—your health, your kids, your safety, your future. It targets what you care about, because that’s where the stakes feel highest.

Your fear doesn’t make you weak.

It makes you human.

Tools to Break the OCD + Medical Fear Cycle

These tools won’t eliminate anxiety instantly, but they will interrupt the cycle and help you reclaim your peace.

1. Name the Pattern (Not the fear)

Instead of “What if something is wrong?” try:

“This is my OCD asking for certainty again.”
“This is a fear thought, not a fact.”
“My brain is sending a false alarm.”

Labeling the disorder reduces its power.

2. Stop Googling Symptoms (Cold Turkey)

Every search is a compulsion that reinforces the fear.

If you can’t stop, try postponing:

“I’ll allow myself to Google in 4 hours.”
Most people forget by then, and the urge passes.

3. Reassurance Detox

Limit checking:

No repeating the same question to different people
No asking your partner, “Do you think I’m okay?” 10 times
No scrolling for stories of “someone who had the same symptom”

Reassurance is a short-term relief that keeps long-term fear alive.

4. Body Neutrality Practice

Replace scanning your body with noticing the environment around you:

What can I hear?
What can I see?
What can I touch?

Shift attention outward, not inward.

5. Exposure & Response Prevention Lite

A gentle, accessible way to practice:

Feel a sensation
Let the fear thought come
Don’t engage with it
Don’t Google
Don’t check
Don’t reassure

Just breathe and let the discomfort peak and fade.

Every time you sit with the uncertainty, you’re teaching your brain:

“We don’t respond to false alarms anymore.”

6. Anchor Yourself in the Present

Try this grounding script:

“Right now, in this moment, I am safe.

My brain is imagining a future threat,

but my body is here in the present.

I can choose to be here, too.”

7. Know When It’s OCD—Not Intuition

If it feels:

repetitive
urgent
catastrophic
impossible to let go of
and you’ve had the thought 100 times already

…it’s OCD, not intuition.

You Are Not Alone

Living with medical fears can feel isolating, but so many people are walking this same quiet battle. What you’re feeling isn’t “crazy,” dramatic, or over-the-top. It’s a nervous system on high alert and a brain that’s learned to overprotect you.

But you can heal.

You can break the cycle.

And you deserve a life that isn’t controlled by fear.

Your brain may send the alarm—

but you get to decide what you do with it.

Nov

2025

The Quiet Power of Prioritizing Your Mental Health

In a world that constantly demands more—more work, more productivity, more social engagement—it’s easy to let mental health slip to the bottom of the list. We often tell ourselves that taking care of our minds can wait, that life’s responsibilities come first. But mental health isn’t a luxury; it’s the foundation for everything else we do.

Stress, anxiety, and burnout are often dismissed as “normal” in today’s fast-paced life. Yet, these feelings signal that your mind and body are reaching their limits. Ignoring them can lead to chronic stress, physical health problems, and emotional exhaustion. The first step in maintaining mental health is recognizing that your feelings matter. Paying attention to your mental state is not indulgent—it’s essential.

One of the most effective ways to protect mental health is establishing small, consistent self-care routines. Self-care doesn’t have to be extravagant or time-consuming. It can be as simple as taking a short walk in the morning, practicing mindful breathing for five minutes, or journaling your thoughts and feelings. These intentional pauses create space to process emotions, reduce stress, and recharge mentally.

Another key aspect is learning to set boundaries. Saying “no” isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. Overcommitting to work, social obligations, or even family responsibilities can drain your mental energy and increase anxiety. Boundaries help you prioritize what truly matters and give you permission to care for yourself without guilt.

Mindset also plays a critical role in mental wellness. Practicing self-compassion—treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend—can reduce negative self-talk and build resilience. Life is inherently unpredictable, and setbacks are inevitable. Viewing challenges as opportunities for growth rather than failures can shift your perspective, reduce stress, and strengthen emotional resilience.

Connection is another pillar of mental health. Engaging with supportive friends, family, or communities provides validation and comfort. Humans are social beings, and sharing struggles or even everyday experiences fosters a sense of belonging. If in-person connection isn’t possible, online communities or support groups can also offer meaningful engagement and understanding.

Finally, professional support should never be overlooked. Therapy, counseling, or mental health coaching provides tools and strategies to navigate life’s challenges. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness—it’s a proactive step toward well-being. Mental health professionals can help you recognize patterns, develop coping strategies, and build long-term resilience.

Prioritizing mental health requires intentionality, patience, and honesty. It’s about recognizing when you need rest, support, or space to breathe. It’s about showing up for yourself in the same way you show up for others. Life will always have demands, but nurturing your mental well-being ensures you have the clarity, energy, and strength to meet them effectively.

Taking care of your mind isn’t a one-time event—it’s a daily practice. The quiet power of prioritizing mental health lies in its ripple effect: when you are mentally strong and balanced, you navigate life’s challenges with greater ease, connect more meaningfully with others, and live more fully. Your mental health deserves attention, care, and respect—because everything else in life flows from it.

Nov

2025

The Invisible Weight: Mental Health and Mom Life

Motherhood is often portrayed as pure joy: giggles, hugs, first steps, and milestones to celebrate. But for many moms, there’s an invisible weight that comes with the role—the constant mental load that never switches off. Between managing schedules, household tasks, work, and social expectations, it’s easy for mental health to take a backseat, leaving moms feeling exhausted, anxious, or guilty.

The mental load of motherhood isn’t just physical—it’s cognitive and emotional. It’s the running checklist in your head: dentist appointments, grocery lists, school forms, meal planning, laundry, birthday gifts, and social obligations. Even when the “to-do” tasks are done, the worry and responsibility remain. This persistent mental work can create stress that’s easy to underestimate because it’s invisible.

Anxiety and guilt often accompany this mental load. Moms may question if they’re doing enough, if they’re raising their kids “right,” or if they’re failing in some small, unseen way. Social media can amplify these feelings, offering curated snapshots of other families that seem effortless and perfect. Comparing your real life to someone else’s highlight reel is a recipe for self-doubt and burnout.

Recognizing the signs of mental health strain is crucial. Feeling constantly drained, emotionally reactive, or disconnected from the joys of motherhood are red flags. Mood swings, irritability, trouble sleeping, or a sense of persistent worry are not just “part of being a mom”—they’re signals that your mental health needs attention. Ignoring them can lead to longer-term stress, anxiety, or depression.

Self-care is essential, but it doesn’t have to be elaborate or time-consuming. Small, intentional actions can have a big impact. Taking a few minutes each day to journal, meditate, or breathe deeply can create mental space. Asking for help, whether from a partner, friend, or family member, is not weakness—it’s strength. Setting boundaries and saying no to extra obligations preserves energy for what truly matters.

Another important tool is reframing expectations. Motherhood is not about perfection—it’s about showing up authentically. Accepting the messiness, the mistakes, and the unpredictable moments allows moms to give themselves grace. Teaching children that it’s okay to be imperfect models resilience and emotional health far better than a flawless household ever could.

Connecting with other moms or supportive communities also strengthens mental health. Sharing struggles, swapping coping strategies, or simply hearing “me too” can reduce isolation. Feeling understood and validated reminds moms they are not alone, even when the weight feels heavy.

Finally, professional support should never be overlooked. Therapy, counseling, or even brief check-ins with a mental health professional can provide coping strategies and perspective. Mental health is not a luxury—it’s foundational to being the kind of parent you want to be.

Motherhood is demanding, beautiful, exhausting, and complicated. Protecting mental health isn’t indulgent; it’s survival and empowerment. By acknowledging the invisible load, setting realistic expectations, and prioritizing self-care, moms can navigate the challenges with more clarity, resilience, and joy. Your mental health matters—not just for you, but for your family, too.

Nov

2025

Mom, Mental Health, and the Holiday Hustle

The holidays are supposed to be magical, right? Lights twinkling, music playing, family laughter echoing through the house. But for many moms, the reality is far from a Hallmark scene. It’s chaos disguised as celebration—cookies to bake, gifts to wrap, schedules to juggle, work emails to answer, and the endless mental list of “must-dos” that never seems to shrink.

Being a mom during the holiday hustle is a full-time job that comes without a manual. Society constantly tells us we should have it all: the Pinterest-perfect decorations, the Instagram-worthy family moments, a career that doesn’t skip a beat, and somehow, a glowing sense of personal fulfillment. The pressure to “do it all” is intense, and honestly, it can be crushing.

Some days, it feels like there’s a timer ticking over your head. You’re running from school drop-offs to shopping trips, from wrapping presents to decorating the house, all while trying to make sure the kids are happy, the partner is pleased, and you don’t burn out. And let’s be honest—the mental load of motherhood never switches off, not during the holidays, not ever. Your brain keeps a running tally of everything you need to do, everything you forgot to do, and everything you feel guilty about not doing perfectly.

So, what happens when the pressure mounts and the magic feels like a burden? Anxiety sneaks in. The joy gets diluted by stress. You start questioning if you’re “good enough” or if anyone else is keeping it together the way you’re pretending to. Maybe the house is messy, maybe dinner is late, maybe the gifts aren’t perfectly wrapped—and that’s OK. The truth is, perfection is an illusion, and chasing it only drains your mental energy.

Slowing down during this season is not selfish; it’s essential. It might look like letting the glittery Pinterest ideas go for something simpler. Maybe it’s ordering a store-bought pie instead of baking three from scratch. Maybe it’s turning down an invitation to a holiday event because your mental health needs a break. Slowing down isn’t giving up; it’s survival, and it’s teaching your children something more important than perfection—they’re learning that it’s okay to prioritize well-being over endless to-dos.

Mental health matters during the holiday hustle. The constant swirl of activity can trigger anxiety, sadness, or even depression, especially if there’s a history of loneliness, grief, or family tension. Moms are often the caretakers, but who’s taking care of them? It’s essential to recognize the signs: exhaustion that doesn’t go away with sleep, feeling constantly irritable, losing interest in things you usually enjoy, or feeling a heaviness that the holidays don’t lift. These are not weaknesses—they’re signals that your brain and body need care.

Self-care in this context doesn’t have to mean a spa day or a bubble bath every night (though that’s great if it happens). It can mean saying no to extra obligations, sitting down with a cup of coffee for five uninterrupted minutes, taking a walk, journaling your feelings, or simply breathing. These tiny acts of slowing down accumulate, giving you the mental space to actually enjoy moments that matter.

Being real about motherhood during the holiday hustle also means embracing the messiness. Maybe the cookie dough gets stepped on, maybe the wrapping paper ends up in a chaotic heap, maybe the kids fight or cry. It’s all part of life, and it doesn’t make you a bad mom. In fact, showing up authentically—flawed and tired—is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself and your family. They learn resilience, empathy, and the real meaning of connection, not just perfection.

So, this holiday season, give yourself permission to step off the treadmill. Acknowledge that doing it all is impossible—and that’s okay. Slow down, breathe, and remember that your mental health is not optional. The true magic of the holidays doesn’t come from perfection; it comes from presence, connection, and the courage to take care of yourself while taking care of everyone else.

Your mental health will thank you—this year, and all the years after.

But you can heal.

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