Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D

Mindfulness gets talked about a lot. It’s on apps, mugs, podcasts, and social media quotes. And yet, when life feels overwhelming, many people still ask the same question: What does mindfulness actually mean—and how do I use it when I’m stressed, anxious, or exhausted?

At its core, mindfulness is much simpler than we often make it. It’s the practice of paying attention to the present moment, on purpose, without judgment. Not fixing. Not analyzing. Just noticing.

And in a world that constantly pulls us into the past or pushes us toward the future, that simple act can be surprisingly powerful.

Why Our Minds Feel So Busy

The human brain is designed to scan for danger, solve problems, and plan ahead. That’s helpful when there’s a real threat—but exhausting when your mind is constantly replaying conversations, worrying about what might happen, or criticizing you for what already did.

Many people think mindfulness means “clearing your mind.” That misconception stops a lot of people from trying it. In reality, mindfulness doesn’t require your thoughts to disappear. It asks you to change your relationship with them.

Instead of “Why am I thinking this?” or “I shouldn’t feel this way,” mindfulness invites a quieter response: “This is what’s here right now.”

That shift alone can reduce stress.

Mindfulness Is Not About Being Calm All the Time

Another myth is that mindfulness equals permanent calm. It doesn’t. You can practice mindfulness while anxious, angry, grieving, or overwhelmed. In fact, those are often the moments when it matters most.

Mindfulness doesn’t remove difficult emotions—it helps you stay grounded while they move through you.

Think of emotions like waves. When we fight them, they feel stronger. When we ignore them, they often return louder. Mindfulness teaches us how to ride the wave without being pulled under.

What Mindfulness Looks Like in Real Life

Mindfulness isn’t just sitting cross-legged in silence (though it can be). It shows up in everyday moments:

• Taking a slow breath before responding instead of reacting
• Noticing tension in your shoulders and softening them
• Feeling your feet on the floor while waiting in line
• Eating one bite of food without multitasking
• Catching a self-critical thought and letting it pass without arguing with it

These small moments add up. They train your nervous system to recognize safety instead of constant urgency.

The Science Behind Mindfulness

Research has shown that mindfulness can help reduce anxiety, depression, chronic stress, and even physical symptoms like tension headaches and sleep difficulties. Regular mindfulness practice has been linked to changes in the brain areas involved in emotional regulation, attention, and self-awareness.

But you don’t need to know the neuroscience for mindfulness to work. You only need curiosity and consistency.

A Simple Mindfulness Practice You Can Try Today

You don’t need 30 minutes or perfect conditions. Try this instead:

1. Pause wherever you are.
2. Take one slow breath in through your nose.
3. Notice three things you can feel in your body (feet, hands, breath).
4. Take one slow breath out.

That’s it.

You didn’t fix anything. You didn’t force calm. You simply showed up for yourself in the present moment.

And that matters more than it sounds.

Why Mindfulness Feels Hard at First

If you’ve tried mindfulness and felt frustrated, you’re not failing—you’re noticing. When we slow down, we become aware of how loud our minds already are. That awareness can feel uncomfortable before it feels helpful.

Mindfulness isn’t about doing it “right.” It’s about noticing when your attention wanders and gently bringing it back. Over and over. Without judgment.

That practice—returning without criticism—is where the real healing happens.

Mindfulness as Self-Compassion

At its best, mindfulness isn’t just attention—it’s kindness. It’s learning to speak to yourself the way you would to someone you love.

Instead of:

• “I shouldn’t feel this way.”
  Try:
• “This is hard, and I’m allowed to feel it.”

Instead of:

• “What’s wrong with me?”
  Try:
• “Something inside me needs care right now.”

Mindfulness creates space between who you are and what you’re experiencing. And in that space, change becomes possible.

You Don’t Have to Do This Perfectly

Mindfulness isn’t a performance. It’s a practice. Some days it will feel grounding. Other days it will feel boring, annoying, or impossible. All of that is part of it.

What matters is not how peaceful you feel, but how willing you are to notice what’s present—without running from it or judging it.

In slowing down, we often discover something surprising: we don’t need to escape our lives to feel better. We need to be more fully in them.

And mindfulness gives us a way back—one breath, one moment at a time.