Colette Lopane-Capella, LMHC, D

Every new beginning carries both excitement and uncertainty. Whether it’s starting a new job, moving to a different city, beginning (or ending) a relationship, or simply deciding to shift an old habit, change can feel like stepping into uncharted waters. As a psychotherapist, I often remind my clients that new beginnings are less about perfection and more about learning how to ride the waves.

Why New Beginnings Feel So Intense

Change asks us to let go of what’s familiar—even when the familiar no longer serves us. Our brains naturally prefer routine because it feels safe. So when we face a transition, it’s normal to feel anxious, heavy, or even resistant. You may wonder: Am I making the right choice? What if I fail? What if this doesn’t last?

These feelings don’t mean you’re weak. They mean you’re human. New beginnings stretch us, and in that stretching comes growth.

Riding the Waves of Change

Imagine the process of starting fresh as waves rolling in at the shore. Some are gentle, easy to float with. Others feel overwhelming, threatening to pull you under. But just like in the ocean, the key is not to fight every wave—it’s to learn how to move with them.

• Notice your emotions without judgment. Fear, doubt, and hope often show up together. Each has something to teach you.
• Anchor yourself in the present. Instead of getting lost in “what ifs,” take one step, one breath, one choice at a time.
• Allow imperfection. Beginnings are rarely smooth. Growth is messy, but messiness is proof that you’re in motion.

Feeling Good Along the Way

A new beginning doesn’t mean you’ll feel good every moment. But it does mean you have an opportunity to build habits, mindsets, and support systems that nurture your well-being. Here are a few ways to cultivate steadiness as you move forward:

• Practice small rituals of care. Even a short walk, journaling, or pausing with a cup of tea can calm your nervous system.
• Stay connected. Sharing your journey with friends, family, or a therapist can lighten the load and remind you that you’re not alone.
• Celebrate progress, not perfection. Every tiny step counts. Acknowledge yourself for showing up, even when it feels hard.

The Deeper Meaning of New Beginnings

At their core, new beginnings are about hope. They are proof that life is always offering second chances, new paths, and fresh ways of becoming. Even when the process feels heavy, even when uncertainty lingers, you are learning resilience. You are building a relationship with yourself that says: I trust my ability to begin again.

Starting Fresh in Your Own Life

If you’re navigating a transition, remember—you don’t have to do it alone. Therapy can provide a safe, supportive space to process your emotions, explore possibilities, and strengthen your ability to ride the waves of change.

Every day offers the possibility of a new beginning. Whether you’re ready to take a big leap or a small step, trust that feeling good doesn’t come from avoiding the waves, but from learning how to move with them.

If you’re looking for support in embracing new beginnings, I’d love to help. My psychotherapy practice in Larchmont, NY, offers a warm, compassionate space for you to explore, heal, and grow. Reach out today to begin your next chapter with support and guidance.

We’ve all had moments when life feels like it’s on pause. You’re doing your best, but something isn’t moving forward. It’s not exactly burnout, and it’s not exactly depression — it’s a stuck feeling. And it’s more common than you might think.

As a psychotherapist in Larchmont, NY, I often hear clients say:

“I just feel like I’m spinning my wheels.”

“I know what I should do, but I can’t make myself do it.”

“I’m not unhappy, but I’m not happy either.”

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Here’s why feeling stuck happens — and how therapy can help you break free.

1. Why We Get Stuck

Life transitions, old patterns, and hidden fears can all create an invisible “holding pattern.”

• Fear of Change: Even positive change can feel threatening to the part of us that craves stability.
• Unresolved Emotions: Past experiences, even ones we think we’ve moved past, can quietly influence our choices.
• Decision Overload: Too many options can lead to paralysis instead of progress.
• Perfectionism: Waiting for the “right” time or the “perfect” plan can leave you waiting forever.

When we’re stuck, it’s not just mental — it’s physical too. Stress hormones can keep the body in a low-level fight-or-flight mode, draining energy and motivation.

2. How Therapy Helps You Get Unstuck

Talking to a trained therapist is more than just “venting.” Therapy provides clarity, perspective, and practical tools.

• Clarity on What’s Really Going On: Often, the real cause of feeling stuck isn’t the problem you think it is.
• Breaking Old Patterns: Therapy helps you notice habits you didn’t even realize were keeping you in place.
• Building Emotional Resilience: Learning to handle uncertainty can free you to take steps forward.
• Creating Accountability: Having a regular space to reflect and track progress helps momentum build.

With the right support, even small shifts can lead to big breakthroughs.

3. Signs It’s Time to Seek Help

It might be time to talk to a therapist if you notice:

• You’ve been feeling stuck for more than a few weeks.
• You keep revisiting the same problem without resolution.
• You avoid making decisions because you’re afraid of “getting it wrong.”
• You feel emotionally flat or disconnected from your goals.

These aren’t signs of weakness — they’re signals from your mind and body that something needs attention.

4. Moving Forward — Starting Today

You don’t have to wait until you “have it all figured out” to begin therapy. In fact, that’s often the first step toward figuring it out.

Here are a few things you can do right now:

1. Name the Feeling: Simply saying “I feel stuck” can take away some of its power.
2. Change Your Environment: Even small changes, like working in a different space, can shift perspective.
3. Reach Out for Support: Friends, mentors, and therapists can help you see what you can’t see yourself.

Final Thoughts

Feeling stuck doesn’t mean you’re broken — it means you’re human. Therapy offers a safe, judgment-free space to explore what’s keeping you in place and to take steps toward the life you want.

If you’re in Larchmont, NY or the surrounding area, I offer both in-person and virtual sessions to help you move forward with clarity and confidence.

Change is one of life’s few guarantees. Whether it’s a career shift, a move to a new city, a relationship change, or a new stage of life, transitions can stir up a complex mix of emotions—excitement, fear, hope, and uncertainty all at once. Even positive changes, like getting married or starting a dream job, can bring stress. The way we respond to these transitions can make the difference between feeling overwhelmed and moving forward with resilience.

Why Change Feels So Stressful

Our brains are wired to prefer predictability. Routines and familiar patterns create a sense of safety. When life shifts—especially unexpectedly—it can feel like the ground beneath us has moved. This uncertainty can trigger the body’s stress response: racing thoughts, muscle tension, and disrupted sleep.

Stress in times of change is normal, but it doesn’t have to take over. By understanding what’s happening internally, we can take proactive steps to stay grounded and focused.

Step One: Acknowledge Your Feelings

One of the most powerful ways to handle transition stress is to name what you’re feeling. Are you anxious about the unknown? Sad about what you’re leaving behind? Excited but nervous?

Resisting emotions often amplifies them. Acknowledging them—without judgment—creates space for processing and acceptance. Try journaling, talking with a trusted friend, or working with a therapist to explore the emotional layers of your experience.

Step Two: Focus on What You Can Control

When change feels overwhelming, it’s easy to fixate on the “what ifs” and the unknowns. Instead, bring your attention to the aspects of the transition you can influence.

• Create a plan for immediate next steps
• Maintain healthy habits like regular meals and movement
• Keep a consistent sleep routine
• Organize your environment so it feels supportive

Shifting from “I can’t control this” to “Here’s what I can do” can significantly reduce stress and increase confidence.

Step Three: Anchor Yourself in Routines

During periods of transition, familiar rituals can serve as emotional anchors. Something as simple as morning coffee in your favorite mug, a daily walk, or a regular meditation practice can help you feel steady when other areas of life are shifting.

These routines aren’t just comfort—they’re a way to signal to your nervous system that not everything is changing, which lowers stress levels.

Step Four: Reframe the Narrative

Our mindset shapes how we experience change. Instead of viewing transitions as disruptions, consider them opportunities for growth. Every change—whether chosen or unexpected—carries lessons, new perspectives, and possibilities.

This doesn’t mean denying the difficulty. It means holding space for both the challenge and the potential. Remind yourself: “This is hard, but I’m learning something valuable through it.”

Step Five: Build a Support Network

Isolation can magnify the stress of change. Reach out to people who can listen without judgment, offer practical help, or simply share a laugh with you. Support might come from friends, family, colleagues, or a therapist who can help you navigate the mental and emotional aspects of transition.

Step Six: Practice Stress-Relief Techniques

When stress builds, your body needs ways to discharge it. Try deep breathing exercises, yoga, or progressive muscle relaxation. Even short breaks to stretch, get fresh air, or listen to calming music can reset your stress response.

Mindfulness practices are especially powerful during transitions, helping you return to the present moment instead of being swept away by worry about the future.

Remember: Change Is a Process, Not a Moment

Transitions unfold over time. You may feel unsettled at first, then gradually adjust as new routines take hold. Give yourself permission to move through the process at your own pace.

Every major life shift you’ve experienced in the past has shaped your resilience. This transition is no different—you already have the skills and inner strength to navigate it.

We often hear about the importance of showing up for our families, our work, and our responsibilities. But how often do we show up for ourselves? In a culture that praises hustle and self-sacrifice, taking care of your own emotional and mental well-being can feel selfish or indulgent. The truth is, it’s neither—it’s essential.

Showing up for yourself means treating yourself with the same care, kindness, and respect that you would offer to someone you love. It’s about recognizing your own needs and honoring them, even when life gets busy or messy.

Start With Self-Awareness

To show up for yourself, you first need to know yourself. That begins with self-awareness. Take time each day to check in with how you’re feeling—emotionally, mentally, and physically. Are you tired? Overwhelmed? Anxious? Excited? What do you need right now?

Tuning in helps you become more attuned to your inner world. When you pay attention to your feelings rather than pushing them aside, you create space to respond with compassion instead of judgment.

Practice Self-Compassion, Not Self-Criticism

Many of us have an inner critic that shows up loudly when we fall short or make mistakes. You might hear it say things like “You’re not doing enough” or “Why can’t you get it together?” This voice doesn’t motivate—it discourages.

Self-compassion is the antidote. It sounds like: “This is hard, but I’m doing my best.” Or, “It’s okay to have a rough day.” When you speak to yourself with kindness—especially during difficult moments—you build resilience and emotional strength.

Think of how you’d comfort a friend who was struggling. That same gentle tone and support is what you deserve, too.

Set Boundaries That Honor Your Needs

Showing up for yourself also means saying no when something drains you or doesn’t align with your values. Boundaries aren’t walls; they’re bridges to healthier relationships with yourself and others.

Give yourself permission to rest. To ask for help. To take time alone when needed. Boundaries are an act of self-respect—they let others know that your needs matter.

Prioritize Your Well-Being

Self-care isn’t all bubble baths and candles (though those are great, too). Real self-care includes making sure you eat well, get enough sleep, move your body, and take breaks when needed. It’s doing the things that keep you grounded and balanced—even when you don’t feel like it.

Showing up for yourself means making your well-being a non-negotiable part of your life.

Celebrate Your Efforts

You don’t have to wait until you’ve achieved something big to feel proud of yourself. Celebrate the small wins—the moments you chose rest over burnout, the times you spoke up for your needs, the days you were kind to yourself.

Progress is built on consistent effort, not perfection.

In Conclusion

Showing up for yourself is an ongoing practice. It’s choosing to meet yourself where you are—with kindness, grace, and compassion. You are not a project to be fixed; you are a human being worthy of care, love, and attention—especially from yourself.

So pause, breathe, and remind yourself: I am allowed to take up space. I am allowed to care for myself. I am enough—just as I am.