By a Psychotherapist Who’s Still Learning, Too
Here’s the truth most people don’t say out loud: Life doesn’t always feel good. It doesn’t always make sense. Some days feel like a slow-motion free fall; others pass in a blur of laundry, emails, and obligations. And then, in the middle of it all—grief, beauty, boredom, anxiety—there’s a quiet moment that somehow makes it all worth it. A warm mug in your hands. Your child’s laughter from the next room. A text from someone who knows your heart.
As a psychotherapist, I sit with people in the most tender parts of their lives—losses, transitions, heartbreak, anxiety, the search for meaning. And here’s what I’ve come to believe: healing isn’t about avoiding the hard stuff. It’s about learning how to roll with the waves. It’s about noticing the little things even when the big things are messy.
Life Isn’t Meant to Be Perfect—It’s Meant to Be Lived
Somewhere along the way, many of us absorbed the idea that a good life is a happy life. That if we’re anxious, heartbroken, stuck, or uncertain, we’re doing something wrong. But real life doesn’t work that way. It’s not a straight line. It’s not curated. It’s not all gratitude journals and green juice (although I’m a fan of both).
Life is seasons. It’s stormy mornings and golden afternoons. It’s deep love and painful loss. It’s plans that fall apart and new paths we never expected. And it’s in the mess—in the middle of things—that we often stumble upon our most meaningful moments.
So instead of striving for a perfectly balanced life, I encourage my clients (and myself) to work toward a deeply felt one. One where we don’t rush past the hard days or numb ourselves through the discomfort. One where we notice the good, without needing things to be perfect.
The Magic in the “Small” Stuff
There’s a reason the little moments matter so much. They’re grounding. They pull us out of our heads and into the present. A deep breath. The smell of rain. That first sip of coffee. The sound of your favorite song when you forgot you needed it. These are not insignificant. They are lifelines.
We don’t need epic moments every day to feel alive—we need presence. And sometimes, it’s those tiny, quiet joys that bring us back to ourselves when life feels too loud or uncertain.
I often ask clients: What was one moment of peace, connection, or meaning today? If you can name just one, you’re still in the game. That one moment is your anchor.
Rolling with the Waves
Emotional wellness doesn’t mean staying calm all the time. It means knowing how to ride the waves when they come—because they will come. Some days you’ll feel strong and grounded; other days you’ll barely keep your head above water. That’s okay. You’re human.
When the waves hit, try to stay soft. Don’t brace against life so hard that you miss it. Don’t be so focused on “getting through” that you forget to live through it.
Let the tears come. Let the joy come, too. Laugh when it feels good. Cry when you need to. Sit still. Move your body. Call a friend. Take a nap. Watch the sunset. Start again.
A Final Word from Someone Still Figuring It Out
I don’t write this from a mountaintop. I write it from the middle of my own waves. I have days when I forget everything I just wrote. But I come back to it. Again and again.
Because this life, as complicated and imperfect as it is, is still full of moments worth noticing. And in those moments—in the pause, the breath, the coffee, the laugh—you might just find your way back to yourself.
So, take the ride. Let the waves come. Notice the little things. And remember: you’re not alone in any of it.
